university
i said that when i went to university that i would start to keep journal online so people could keep up with how things were going. however i never found the time. things were so busy from the start, and i just jumped head first into it, loving every second. but now, for the first time, i have come to a stand still, and i have found a moment to reflect. and its now that i realise how lonely and empty i feel. i miss chidge, my best friend that i have ever had. i thought at first when i started making friends, that i had found someone just as special as him, but now i realise that a weeks friendship is no substitue for life long companionship. and thats what i want right now, is someone to talk to, face to face so i dont feel quite so alone. and i miss my guitar. not having it here is torture. at home in times of bordom or emotional distress, it was my escape. but instruments arent alowed in my block, and i find myself at a loss at what to do.
i am the only one in my flat at the moment, all my housemates have gone out and left me behind. it wasnt intensional to leave me out, but it doesnt stop that feeling of being a third wheel, like no one would really miss me if i vanished. i know there is a live gig somewhere on campus, but i dont know where, and i dont fancy going on my own. thats the sort of place id go with my mates to. we'd have a few drinks, a laugh and a giggle, maybe even dance if i could get them drunk enough! it just doesnt seem right without them.
im suddenly finding myself longing for more work to do. if i had something to keep me occupied, maybe i wouldnt feel quite so bad. but now its all finished, and other than read a boring chemistry text book im lost. i came online, hoping that perhaps some of my friends would be on msn. they all have it now they are at uni. but it seems perhaps they have made new friends and moved on. they dont need me anymore. but im finding it hard to let go, and i dont know to do. maybe i should take advantage of the quiet, and just go to bed, but at 7.50 i dont feel that tired.
at least tomorrow i have lectures to go to. the work may keep me occupied.
i am the only one in my flat at the moment, all my housemates have gone out and left me behind. it wasnt intensional to leave me out, but it doesnt stop that feeling of being a third wheel, like no one would really miss me if i vanished. i know there is a live gig somewhere on campus, but i dont know where, and i dont fancy going on my own. thats the sort of place id go with my mates to. we'd have a few drinks, a laugh and a giggle, maybe even dance if i could get them drunk enough! it just doesnt seem right without them.
im suddenly finding myself longing for more work to do. if i had something to keep me occupied, maybe i wouldnt feel quite so bad. but now its all finished, and other than read a boring chemistry text book im lost. i came online, hoping that perhaps some of my friends would be on msn. they all have it now they are at uni. but it seems perhaps they have made new friends and moved on. they dont need me anymore. but im finding it hard to let go, and i dont know to do. maybe i should take advantage of the quiet, and just go to bed, but at 7.50 i dont feel that tired.
at least tomorrow i have lectures to go to. the work may keep me occupied.