The April Fool
Am I socially awkward? Most certainly. I've had trouble making friends for as long as I can remember, being as I've never quite understood body language in any meaningful manner, and I have little to no sympathy for anyone. At work I've long since felt that I'm just going through the motions, responding to situations based on routine, based entirely off a set of behaviors that have worked in similar situations in the past. I've been called overly literal, I obsessively collect SF and Manga, I find myself drawn to the point of obsession into writing, and...I'm lonely. I can't connect with anyone. The more I deal with people, the less I can connect. The links that bind me to the world are tenuous at best, frayed threads that tie me to family and coworkers--yet, although I love my family, I often don't think about them, and although I work well with others, as soon as I leave work, I never think of them. I have no RL friends anymore. Just through the net.
this is a ramble about loneliness. I've always been this way but despite that I keep on moving forward. I've never given up, even when it seemed easier just to crawl into a hole, even when it felt as though the whole world was against me. This year I want to change...but, I want to be true to myself. I need to change into a new me, but stay me. And I don't get along well with others. I like silence. I like to just exist, to feel the sun on my bare skin, the wind blowing across my face...who knows? What I want seems simple.
Work hard, work honest, gain nothing. Life sucks that way, but I can follow no other path.
this is a ramble about loneliness. I've always been this way but despite that I keep on moving forward. I've never given up, even when it seemed easier just to crawl into a hole, even when it felt as though the whole world was against me. This year I want to change...but, I want to be true to myself. I need to change into a new me, but stay me. And I don't get along well with others. I like silence. I like to just exist, to feel the sun on my bare skin, the wind blowing across my face...who knows? What I want seems simple.
Work hard, work honest, gain nothing. Life sucks that way, but I can follow no other path.