(no subject)
For the Book of Me:
There's a super clear correlation between days when I do yoga for just a few minutes in the morning, and days when I'm calm and focused enough to get work done and not have panic attacks. And yet, I still find myself thinking "I don't have time to do yoga, I slept too late and have too much to do." Even though just 10 or 15 minutes can be the difference between a day when I write a few thousand words and a day when I get panicky over internet arguments and accomplish nothing. Which proves to my satisfaction that the "I don't have time" train of thought is less about actually saving time and more about hating on myself.
Also: on the day immediately before traveling, major entertaining, or any other event that takes a lot of preparation, I am never able to get nearly as much done as I expect to.
Things I can do with this information:
1. Plan better, and try to get more done ahead of time, instead of on the last day.
2. Understand that this is going to happen, and accept it, and don't be too surprised and disappointed in myself when it does.
3. Before the next Big Event, have a frank conversation with myself about exactly how big an event it is, and what the best and worst things that can happen are. Doing an absolutely perfect job entertaining my parents won't erase all of my neurosis about disappointing them; screwing up packing for a trip won't leave me stranded in prison in Bangladesh. Not letting the pressure ratchet up will probably make it easier to deal with preparation one item at a time.
Leaving for the beach tomorrow. I am thinking I'm going to do a whole lot of yoga, and sleep a lot, and reconnect with Daniel as much as possible. Hope you all have a great few days!
There's a super clear correlation between days when I do yoga for just a few minutes in the morning, and days when I'm calm and focused enough to get work done and not have panic attacks. And yet, I still find myself thinking "I don't have time to do yoga, I slept too late and have too much to do." Even though just 10 or 15 minutes can be the difference between a day when I write a few thousand words and a day when I get panicky over internet arguments and accomplish nothing. Which proves to my satisfaction that the "I don't have time" train of thought is less about actually saving time and more about hating on myself.
Also: on the day immediately before traveling, major entertaining, or any other event that takes a lot of preparation, I am never able to get nearly as much done as I expect to.
Things I can do with this information:
1. Plan better, and try to get more done ahead of time, instead of on the last day.
2. Understand that this is going to happen, and accept it, and don't be too surprised and disappointed in myself when it does.
3. Before the next Big Event, have a frank conversation with myself about exactly how big an event it is, and what the best and worst things that can happen are. Doing an absolutely perfect job entertaining my parents won't erase all of my neurosis about disappointing them; screwing up packing for a trip won't leave me stranded in prison in Bangladesh. Not letting the pressure ratchet up will probably make it easier to deal with preparation one item at a time.
Leaving for the beach tomorrow. I am thinking I'm going to do a whole lot of yoga, and sleep a lot, and reconnect with Daniel as much as possible. Hope you all have a great few days!