"there's a lot of weirdos around here!"
waterfire. much better crowd than the last holiday weekend, thankfully. i guess more people stay home for the fourth so they can see their own city's fireworks? whatever the reason, i'm grateful for it. i did four hours, with one break that was just long enough to get some water and get right back up again. apparently i've become a glutton for pain. but it pays off in the end. no pun intended.
i was hassled by a persistently stupid sailor boy early in the evening. i generally don't cut people much slack when they start off being a douchebag then try to be nice to make up for it, but this is especially true for douchebags in uniform. thankfully, his buddy was very sweet, so dealing with the pair was a balanced experience.
here are some of my favorite little girls from the evening. the one with curly blonde hair was very shy, but she and her mom came over to chat with me at the end of the night, and she is just precious. her mom said "we've been waiting all year to see you!" aw, shucks.
as for the rest of the evening...
- it was motherfuckin' windy in providence. for the first couple of hours, i was having trouble staying steady on my feet. i kept swaying in the wind. so annoying.
+ there was this unbelievably adorable little boy who i really really wish had been caught on camera. he came up to put a dollar in my jar and pose with me for a photo, and was comfortable enough with the statue lady for me to lift him up onto my ledge for the photo. but after the photo was taken, i bent down to kiss his forehead, and apparently i crossed the not-scary/scary line. he shrieked and scrambled away.
- i was grabbed and poked at a few times.
+ i successfully grabbed or slapped them all.
- one girl jumped up onto my ledge to pose with me for a photo, which is something i'm not comfortable with people doing unless i explicitly invite them up, and even then i prefer it just be small children.
++ before she had fully landed on the ledge, i reached out and very successfully clotheslined her. don't invade the personal space of the ninja statue.
- this dumbass teenage girl came up and tried to take the blue glow necklace someone had given me earlier. i'd put it around the neck of my tip jar [this is especially handy when it gets dark and people are more likely to walk right into the 32" tall white vase], and she reached for it, looking up at me asking "can i have this? do you want it? no? okay i'm gonna take it." i had to reach down and physically shoo her away.
+++ but then, much to my surprise and delight, a gentleman from the back of my crowd walked up and started to lecture her! and he's doing it the same way i would do it, saying if she wouldn't do something like that to just anyone on the street, why would she do it to a performer? kind sir, if you are reading this, i want you to know that you're amazing. THANK YOU. very very few people stand up to the douchebags in my crowds. i wish there were more people like you around.
plymouth on monday was not quite as enjoyable as waterfire. i fully intended to do three hours, but got down after an hour and a half and decided to not get back up again. i was too tired and sore, and the crowd was too slow for me to maintain whatever momentum i had left. still, overall i'm glad i went.
+ my favorite thing about plymouth is adorable children. i had a very positive encounter with a baby. his father brought him up to say hello, and when i put out my hand, he reached out to grab it. i saw a big grin peeking out from behind his pascifier. he held on tight to my fingers for a solid minute. my heart, it melts.
+ OMG PUPPY.
- remember the most obnoxious kid in the world from last year's fourth in plymouth? yea. he was there again. he didn't do anything overtly obnoxious this time, but he was sitting on the benches next to me with a couple of his friends, whining incessantly. "oh my god, she yelled at me last year! she's so mean! SHE YELLED AT ME!!! she's so creepy! SHE YELLED AT ME LAST YEAR!!!" apparently, all this kid wants in life is to be a victim. he spends so much time whining and crying and desperately seeking pity. the great thing is, nobody's giving him any. i have listened to him repeat the same sentences literally dozens of times to the same person, and they never have a response. so you really think you're the victim here, huh? why don't you explain to your friends WHY i yelled at you, and see how much pity you'll get from them then. whiny little bitch. i bet he'll be a real charmer in adulthood.
- i had another bratty young boy who kept blowing one of those stupid plastic horns at me. after the tenth time or so, i'd had enough.
+ the "step down, loom, and stare" tactic seems to be very effective. i wish the video captured the look on the kid's face. the determination to avoid eye contact. the awkward, uncomfortable laugh. oh, it was wonderful, i assure you.
i was hassled by a persistently stupid sailor boy early in the evening. i generally don't cut people much slack when they start off being a douchebag then try to be nice to make up for it, but this is especially true for douchebags in uniform. thankfully, his buddy was very sweet, so dealing with the pair was a balanced experience.
Click to viewhere are some of my favorite little girls from the evening. the one with curly blonde hair was very shy, but she and her mom came over to chat with me at the end of the night, and she is just precious. her mom said "we've been waiting all year to see you!" aw, shucks.
as for the rest of the evening...
- it was motherfuckin' windy in providence. for the first couple of hours, i was having trouble staying steady on my feet. i kept swaying in the wind. so annoying.
+ there was this unbelievably adorable little boy who i really really wish had been caught on camera. he came up to put a dollar in my jar and pose with me for a photo, and was comfortable enough with the statue lady for me to lift him up onto my ledge for the photo. but after the photo was taken, i bent down to kiss his forehead, and apparently i crossed the not-scary/scary line. he shrieked and scrambled away.
- i was grabbed and poked at a few times.
+ i successfully grabbed or slapped them all.
- one girl jumped up onto my ledge to pose with me for a photo, which is something i'm not comfortable with people doing unless i explicitly invite them up, and even then i prefer it just be small children.
++ before she had fully landed on the ledge, i reached out and very successfully clotheslined her. don't invade the personal space of the ninja statue.
- this dumbass teenage girl came up and tried to take the blue glow necklace someone had given me earlier. i'd put it around the neck of my tip jar [this is especially handy when it gets dark and people are more likely to walk right into the 32" tall white vase], and she reached for it, looking up at me asking "can i have this? do you want it? no? okay i'm gonna take it." i had to reach down and physically shoo her away.
+++ but then, much to my surprise and delight, a gentleman from the back of my crowd walked up and started to lecture her! and he's doing it the same way i would do it, saying if she wouldn't do something like that to just anyone on the street, why would she do it to a performer? kind sir, if you are reading this, i want you to know that you're amazing. THANK YOU. very very few people stand up to the douchebags in my crowds. i wish there were more people like you around.
plymouth on monday was not quite as enjoyable as waterfire. i fully intended to do three hours, but got down after an hour and a half and decided to not get back up again. i was too tired and sore, and the crowd was too slow for me to maintain whatever momentum i had left. still, overall i'm glad i went.
+ my favorite thing about plymouth is adorable children. i had a very positive encounter with a baby. his father brought him up to say hello, and when i put out my hand, he reached out to grab it. i saw a big grin peeking out from behind his pascifier. he held on tight to my fingers for a solid minute. my heart, it melts.
+ OMG PUPPY.
- remember the most obnoxious kid in the world from last year's fourth in plymouth? yea. he was there again. he didn't do anything overtly obnoxious this time, but he was sitting on the benches next to me with a couple of his friends, whining incessantly. "oh my god, she yelled at me last year! she's so mean! SHE YELLED AT ME!!! she's so creepy! SHE YELLED AT ME LAST YEAR!!!" apparently, all this kid wants in life is to be a victim. he spends so much time whining and crying and desperately seeking pity. the great thing is, nobody's giving him any. i have listened to him repeat the same sentences literally dozens of times to the same person, and they never have a response. so you really think you're the victim here, huh? why don't you explain to your friends WHY i yelled at you, and see how much pity you'll get from them then. whiny little bitch. i bet he'll be a real charmer in adulthood.
- i had another bratty young boy who kept blowing one of those stupid plastic horns at me. after the tenth time or so, i'd had enough.
+ the "step down, loom, and stare" tactic seems to be very effective. i wish the video captured the look on the kid's face. the determination to avoid eye contact. the awkward, uncomfortable laugh. oh, it was wonderful, i assure you.