(no subject)
today i went to the park. by myself. and read tolstoy.
"There was no answer, except the general answer life gives to all the most complex and insoluble questions. That answer is: one must live for the needs of the day, in other words, become oblivious. To become oblivious in dreams was impossible now, at least till night-time; it was impossible to return to that music sung by the carafe women; and so one had to become oblivious in the dream of life"
i like it.
although i'm pretty sure there is an answer, something beyond that general answer that they had.
i realized that today because there was a little boy on the swings.
he sat there for over 30 minutes kicking his legs and swing never budged, and he kept trying.
then he asked his mom to push him...in that little boy way.
although that question really sounded a bit more like "push me the highest!!"
i got lost in tolstoy again before i realized if his mom ever pushed him, or if his swing ever left the ground.
but i guess that's how it is.
you aren't really supposed to know how it ends.
i know there is something in this world....
something that is better than this.
something more than this.
and i really just wish i could find it soon.
because the way life is right now just isn't cutting it for the curiosity in my brain.
you know what's really weird though?
is when you think you found something more, and then you question it.
and then you're stuck.
i like the park.
"There was no answer, except the general answer life gives to all the most complex and insoluble questions. That answer is: one must live for the needs of the day, in other words, become oblivious. To become oblivious in dreams was impossible now, at least till night-time; it was impossible to return to that music sung by the carafe women; and so one had to become oblivious in the dream of life"
i like it.
although i'm pretty sure there is an answer, something beyond that general answer that they had.
i realized that today because there was a little boy on the swings.
he sat there for over 30 minutes kicking his legs and swing never budged, and he kept trying.
then he asked his mom to push him...in that little boy way.
although that question really sounded a bit more like "push me the highest!!"
i got lost in tolstoy again before i realized if his mom ever pushed him, or if his swing ever left the ground.
but i guess that's how it is.
you aren't really supposed to know how it ends.
i know there is something in this world....
something that is better than this.
something more than this.
and i really just wish i could find it soon.
because the way life is right now just isn't cutting it for the curiosity in my brain.
you know what's really weird though?
is when you think you found something more, and then you question it.
and then you're stuck.
i like the park.