after much debate over whether or not to post...
I'm in a strange mood right now. Don't say you weren't warned.
He haunted my dreams again. It's been happening a lot lately. And then I saw that he had called while I was at work. But no message this time. Why is it easier to forget yesterday than it is to forget, what, four years ago?
Despertar en el frio abismo de tu ausencia. Es rodar por las hora perdidas en mi habitacion. Recordar cada lagrima que fue tan nuestra. Me desangra el alma. Esta ausencia tan grande...me derrumbo.
"I just want to talk to you. My broken heart just has no use. I guess promises are better left unsaid." What's up with promises anyway? That entire concept is completely foreign to me. And how did I go from giving it my all to nothing except inexplicable dreams and subsequent, equally inexplicable, emotions? Maybe I want to get to that "safe" place again. I don't see it happening.
I guess I need you, baby.
There's nothing I need more than to get out of this place, physically as well as cerebrally. Beauty is ahead, I am sure. What I long for is a clean slate, to go somewhere and start fresh. I want to be a stranger with no one to answer to except for myself. Spain. I'm wrought sick with loathing for the life I know. A re-do. But I also know that in the end the only one I'm running from is myself, my dreams. It's inevitable...self-destruction...total domination? Bliss is ignorance. I want to be deliriously happy.
::edit::I like to write too much.