You ain't gonna tie me down
I feel restless. I don't enjoy this feeling. I feel like I really DON'T want a commitment.I love Anthony but I'm scared that I'm settling down way before my time. I'm only seventeen and we act like we're married. It's not cool. I'm so used to being single for the summer, being able to do whatever I want and not having to deal with anyone. Now I'm not single. Anthony fucking LIVES with me. I'm seventeen and I have a live in boyfriend who I've been seeing for almost eight months. I feel like a lot of other people would appreciate this a lot more than I do. I'm positive of the fact that I'm not satisfied. It's not fair, even when I talk to Anthony about this he ignores me. He refuses to go on a break (even though we REALLY fucking need one), he refuses to listen to any talk about us not beings together. I really didn't want him to move in. I knew that it would destroy our relationship. We were having trouble before he decided to move in here, and I got him a place to stay that WASN'T here so that we wouldn't have to live together, but he went behind my back and talked to my mom and is now staying here anyway. I don't want to leave him because I love him..and because I know what we have is legit, but I'm not ready for this. He doesn't care. It really depresses me.
On another note WHY DO GUYS ALWAYS THROW THEMSELVES AT ME WHEN I'M TAKEN. I have so many guys after me all the fucking time, and I can't even explore my options. I mean I don't want to break up with my boyfriend to date someone else because I don't think that's right..but honestly something needs to be done. I'm not happy. I think I deserve to be happy. I guess I just have to wait it out. I need to see if anything changes once he starts the second job that I got him and he starts working. A huge problem with our relationship is the fact that I'm always the one taking care of him. Maybe I'll get a chance to be spoiled for once. I don't know. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm all out of ideas. I'm so down on myself for having these thoughts. I want to be happy with him. I used to be so fucking crazy about him. It really hurts me to feel this way. I guess familiarity really does breed contempt. I hope something works out before everything completely falls apart in front of my eyes.
On another note WHY DO GUYS ALWAYS THROW THEMSELVES AT ME WHEN I'M TAKEN. I have so many guys after me all the fucking time, and I can't even explore my options. I mean I don't want to break up with my boyfriend to date someone else because I don't think that's right..but honestly something needs to be done. I'm not happy. I think I deserve to be happy. I guess I just have to wait it out. I need to see if anything changes once he starts the second job that I got him and he starts working. A huge problem with our relationship is the fact that I'm always the one taking care of him. Maybe I'll get a chance to be spoiled for once. I don't know. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm all out of ideas. I'm so down on myself for having these thoughts. I want to be happy with him. I used to be so fucking crazy about him. It really hurts me to feel this way. I guess familiarity really does breed contempt. I hope something works out before everything completely falls apart in front of my eyes.