(no subject)
Today has been made of magic.
Well, at least, tonight was.
I woke up at around 6, couldn't get back to sleep, gave up trying and took a shower. There was no light outside. How utterly depressing. At 7:30a I made my way to the gym for the ACT test. The test itself was fine...in fact, I think I did very well on it. It was just...soooooo...loooooooooong...there were only four sections plus an essay, but it still took until 1p to end. By the end of the test, James Siddall and I had formulated a plan to let out frustrations. It had a lot to do with unscrewing test chairs and throwing them against the wall. "That might be dangerous," Rachel said. Hehehe. But anyways, the test ended and we were all glad.
I met up with FAM and ze Papap Spuk and we went to lunch at Bertucci's! It was a lot of fun. We were cold and wet and tired and hungry. At least Bertucci's took care of that last one. :P There were lots of clever puns, lots of bad puns, and some funny things written on boxes. Awesome!
Then I came back with the intention of taking a nap, but I ended up rearranging my room. And when that was done, I once again had the intention of taking a nap, but Corey called and we decided to meet up. We met in the DSL, encountered Nick, went on a quest for an internet connection, failed, decided that we wanted milkshakes, realized that we had no idea where to get these milkshakes, went on a quest downtown in the rain to get milkshakes, sorta failed but did indeed end up at Dunkin Donuts with sort of milkshake-like drinks and cookies. We were SO soaking wet but it was awesome. :)
We went back up the hill, a dripping trio of teens, and tried to dry off in the DSL. We gave up on that, and Corey and I left Nick and went to the Pony Palace for a movie-watching party. It was incredible. A five-hour Cowboy Bebop party in my freshly-rearranged room. :) It was that event that really made my night...cuddling to try and warm up, watching a fantastic movie TWICE (it was really confusing, and we had the time, so we watched it twice ^^;), and just enjoying one another's presence. Oh and sending a mass email to the DSLers for a party tomorrow. That too. :)
But despite the wonderful events in my current life, there is one huge thing that is a constant problem: I feel like my body is deteriorating. Everything hurts, all the time. My hips hurt when I walk. My back hurts when I sit. My hands sometimes feel too weak to even hold a pencil. My eyes and ears are sensitive. My stomach is incredibly picky about what it will hold down. I bruise and scar easily. I get exhausted much more easily than I used to. And my head--oh my head, the big bad daddy of them all...my head spins and throbs and aches and it makes me want to faint. I just feel that everything is going wrong with my body right now. I don't know if it's stress or eating the wrong foods or medicines or what. But whatever it is, it needs to go away. Because I feel like a porcelain doll ready to shatter. And I can't go to Isham because they'll think I'm just making things seem worse than they are. My file there is huge as it is...I don't know how they'll react to me telling them that I think I'm going to break any day now. They'll probably just say it's psychological and send me to Graham House or something.
And what if I do collapse? What if I have an asthma attack or something? I haven't had one since lower spring, granted, but if I did...would I even bother getting up?
*sigh*
And yet, sometimes all it takes for me to put those thoughts away is a touch on the hand, a kiss on the cheek, a pair of smiling eyes. I fell asleep for a bit while Corey and I were watching the movie...it must've been only a few minutes...but it was so comfortable and happy...