Wherever The Road May Lead - Second Arc: Part Two

[ashtraythief]

Jensen woke up because someone was bustling around the room. He remembered the night before, so he wasn’t worried. He cracked one eye open and watched Jared pack his things. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and it was a damn fine view.

“You in a hurry?” Jensen asked and Jared spun around.

“You’re awake,” he stuttered, “I mean, obviously.”

Jensen grinned invitingly. “I am. So why don’t you get your hot ass back into bed?”

Jared looked torn, guiltily fumbling with the shirt in his hands.

“C’mon, what’s an hour in the grand scheme of things?” Jensen asked, smirking, and Jared gave in.

It was slower this time, intimate somehow, and Jensen enjoyed their lazy touches and Jared’s inquiring hands. He found the spots that drove Jensen crazy, put his mouth on all of them, and even though they were both in dire need of a bath, Jared took Jensen into his mouth and swallowed him down when he came.

Jensen gave into the bliss for a while, but then remembered his manners and repaid the favor.

“We need a bath,” he said afterwards and Jared laughed.

“You sound like Haylee,” he said with a broad grin, flashing actual dimples. Jensen was so distracted by this revelation that he broke his ‘no-talking to the hook-ups’ rule and asked, “Haylee?”

“My dragon,” Jared said as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and Jensen was out of the bed in a flash.

“What do you mean, your dragon?” he bit out.

Jared stared at him utterly confused. “Erm, well, my dragon? I’m not sure what else I could mean by that.”

Everything fell into place. Jared’s physique, the equipment littering his room, even his choice of curses… “You’re a Rider!”

“Well yeah,” Jared said. “What did you think? I mean I came here to…” Jared trailed off, coming to his own conclusions. His face shut down and he reached for his shirt.

“You didn’t recognize me at all, did you?”

Jensen searched his face, but nothing was ringing a bell. “No, not at all. Your dragon?”

“Haylee,” Jared said and his voice was cold. “Long wings, bronze scales. We bonded in the spring three years ago.”

Jensen wracked his brain and came up with a faint memory of a slightly unproportional, clumsy dragon and her lanky Rider.

“Huh,” he said. “Seems like you grew up.”

Jensen reached for his clothes and Jared got dressed as well. This was nothing he wanted to discuss naked. Actually, he didn’t want to discuss it at all. Since Jared hadn’t tried to kill him yet, there was only one reason for him to be here.

“So last night,” Jared started, awkwardly shuffling around on bare feet. “When you said you knew why I was here, you thought I was here for… because you didn’t know I was a Rider.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “You can say it, you know. I thought you were looking for a fuck.”

A slight blush crept into Jared’s cheeks, but Jensen chose to ignore how endearing he found it.

“Okay,” Jared said, taking a deep breath. “Not that I regret last night, but it’s obviously not what I came here for. I came-”

“I know why you came,” Jensen cut him off. “You want me to come back with you.”

“Did someone tell you?” Jared asked.

Jensen laughed harshly. “No, no one told me. But it’s the logical conclusion what with the mess going on back ho- in Nereya. You’re at war, Pellegrino is too powerful. The only two reasons for a Rider to look me up would either be to kill me - and since you didn’t do that when you had plenty of chances - then it must be that you want me to come back and help you.”

Jared nodded and his face was a mixture of hope and dread. “And you will, right? You’ll come back with us.”

“No,” Jensen said and went looking for his boots.

It was quiet behind him. When he turned around, Jared was staring at him, completely stunned.

“No. You can’t say no. You’re Jensen Ackles. You’re Jensen fucking Ackles. You’re Nereya’s biggest hero since-”

“I’m not a hero, kid,” Jensen scoffed, “just a Rider doing his job. Besides, is that what you do with a hero? Cast him out of the only home he ever knew?”

“That was all Pellegrino’s doing!” Jared yelled. “And you know it!”

Jensen glared at Jared. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. No one opposed the decision. No one stood up for us! They were happy to cast us aside if it meant protecting their precious Republic, even though it had started to rot from the inside long ago.”

Jared narrowed his eyes at him. “Look, I get that what happened to you was crappy-”

“Crappy?”

“... but we need you! You swore an oath! And you can’t punish an entire country just because the politicians screwed up. Think of all the people, all the innocent people. How can you just leave them to their fate?”

Jensen focused on the anger, so the guilt wouldn’t start to creep in. “Jared, this is not up for discussion. You want to fight to keep a broken system in place? Feel free. I won’t have any part in it. There’s always fighting somewhere - that’s the way the world works - and this time war hit Nereya. Tough luck.”

Jared’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly and his expression flickered from incredulous to furious.

“Tough luck? Thousands of people dying, you call that tough luck? What the fuck is wrong with you? It’s your home!”

The words cut deep, right down to the bottom of the darkness in Jensen’s soul.

“I don’t have a home anymore,” he said, and turned around to leave the room. Jared called after him, but Jensen slammed the door in his face. He needed to get out.

When he walked up into the mountains, he felt strangely light all of a sudden. It took him a few moments to figure out why. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time, but Tonayr’s happiness was flowing in a soothing stream over their link. His dragon was happy, really and truly happy, without the tinges of anger, disappointment, and resignation that had colored his emotions for so long.

What makes you so happy? Jensen asked when he was close enough to communicate over their link.

Instead of answering, Tonayr sent him the picture of a dragon. She was beautiful, bronze scales glinting in the sun, long wings gracefully held against her side. Her face was cute and breathtaking all at once; long slightly curved horns gracefully adorning the back of her head while her snout tapered off into an adorable beak.

Jensen stopped short. Not that all that wasn’t true, but he would never be that taken by a dragon’s appearance. No, what he was feeling was Tonayr being taken with her.

She seemed familiar somehow and suddenly it clicked. She’d grown since the last time he’d seen her; her body had caught up to her wings and she no longer looked disproportional.

So you met Haylee, Jensen stated.

I did, Tonayr answered. His voice was calm, but it belied the emotions surrounding Haylee’s name.

And you like her.

Tonayr didn’t hesitate. She was very nice, agreeable company. Quite smart and mature for such a young dragon.

Jensen followed the last bend of the path and came face to face with Tonayr, who was sunning himself in front of Jensen’s hut.

“No, I meant you liked her,” he said, habit making him speak the words out loud. He’d taken to talking to Tonayr out loud when he hadn’t seen other people for weeks, when he’d needed to hear a human voice every once in a while, even though it was his own.

Tonayr drew the ridges over his eyes together. What? No, it’s not like that, it can’t be. She is much too young. I just enjoyed her company.

Jensen wasn’t convinced, but he let it go. If he expected Tonayr not to speak to him about uncomfortable subjects, he’d offer him the same courtesy.

I gather you’ve met her Rider.

“What gave me away?” Jensen asked, wondering what his emotions must feel like to Tonayr.

You reek of sex, Tonayr said dryly. You should take a bath.

Jensen knew Tonayr was right, but that didn’t stop him from shooting his dragon a pissed glare. It was only later, when he was washing all traces of his night with Jared away, that he wondered how Tonayr had known the guy he’d slept with had been Jared. In the end, he decided this was also not something he wanted to think about. It came too close to the hurt look in Jared’s eyes, that had nothing to do with Jensen’s refusal to go back to Nereya. Denial had worked rather well for him these past years.



A huge shadow darkened the sun while Jensen was sharpening his knives. He looked up to see Kahleya’s big body flying circles in the sky, the light blue underside of her belly blending perfectly with the sky above her. Tonayr looked up to her, then back to Jensen.

I think I prefer her quietness over your mopey self, he said and swung himself up into the air.

Much like her Rider, Chris’ dragon wasn’t very chatty. The dragons still enjoyed being close to each other, so they would probably fly to a nice spot and curl up in each other, using their combined body heat to raise their temperature.

Jensen went back to his knives, but he paid attention to the noise around him, listening for the inevitable sounds of heavy boots on dry earth. He didn’t have to wait long.

“I had a feeling you’d stop by,” he said, not looking up.

Chris huffed and sat down across from him. He picked up one of the knives and a whetstone and helped Jensen out. He didn’t say a word, not until Jensen was finally done and looked at him exasperatedly.

Back in the day, Chris had been the best interrogator the Wings had ever seen. He could read people like nobody else and he’d always intuitively known how to crack them. Jensen had never dealt well with the heavy silence.

“So,” Chris drawled. Even after all this time, he hadn’t lost his hometown’s accent.

“So what?” Jensen asked, trying to stay calm. He was pretty sure he knew what was coming. Chris had been working through his issues like he always did; not talking to anyone but the lute in his hands.

“It’s time, Jensen. It’s time to go back.”

“We were exiled, Chris. There is no going back.”

Chris leaned back against a stone and pulled a pipe out of his coat pocket. He put it down on the ground, reached for a bag with tobacco and then meticulously started to stuff his pipe.

“You know, I was angry too,” he said, eyes fixed on the pipe. “I was angry for a long time. Pellegrino played us and no one stood up for us. Well, no one except for Morgan, but that didn’t work out so well either.”

Chris put the little leather bag back into his coat.

“But here’s the thing, Jensen. You can’t be angry all your life. It’s gonna eat you up. You have to deal with it one way or another. I have my music. Dani chose to fight. I think every time she kills someone she still imagines Pellegrino’s face. But you… You just sit around and wallow. I haven’t said anything before, because I understood that you needed time, but this is what you need to do with it. This is what you can do with your anger. Take it and carry it back to Nereya and then use it to destroy Pellegrino. You were always at your best when you were pissed,” he added with a little smirk. “Most people run hot when they’re angry. You run cold.”

“I won’t go back,” Jensen said. Chris might be right, but he would not return to Nereya. “They made this mess and they can deal with it. They threw us out, I won’t lift a finger for them.”

Chris looked up at him then. “You sound like a petulant child whose toy has been taken away.”

Jensen recoiled as if Chris had slapped him. “They exiled us.”

Chris leaned forward, and for the first time, there was emotion in his blue eyes. “A bunch of power hungry men exiled us. The rest of the people had so much trust in the system we protected that they didn’t dare speak out. And if we had stayed and fought…”

“There would have been civil war,” Jensen said. It was the same thing he’d said back then, when they’d packed their things after the judges had passed the verdict. They’d known Pellegrino set them up, but had no way to prove it, and Jensen hadn’t been ready to risk innocent peoples’ lives in the bloodshed sure to follow, if they’d challenge the council’s decision.

“And what do we have now?” Chris asked. “It’s even worse, and Pellegrino will have more people on his side now. We screwed up back then, Jensen, and we should have fixed it.”

“We couldn’t have known,” Jensen said, “and it’s not like politics were our responsibility anyway.”

Chris shook his head. “We’re Riders, Jensen. The Republic’s well-being is always our responsibility. Now we have a chance to go back and fix it.”

But Jensen couldn’t forgive. The country he’d vowed to protect had betrayed him.

“I won’t stop you if you want to go back with Jared. But I’m not coming with you.”

Instead of being angry, Chris just eyed him scrutinizingly. “Yeah, we’ll see.” Then he lit the pipe, took a deep drag and offered it to Jensen. Taking it, Jensen leaned back, inhaling the rough and heady aroma of the pipe deep into his lungs. He tried to push their conversation from his mind, but he wasn’t all that successful.



Tonayr didn’t come back until the next morning, but his belly was full with beef and he seemed more relaxed than before. Jensen was glad for him, even if a calm state of mind eluded him. He just couldn’t get Jared out of his mind, not how he’d been in bed with him, yielding and passionate, and not how he’d yelled at him the next morning, still passionate, but hard as steel.

Again, a shadow crossed the ground and Jensen looked up, expecting to see Kahleya again, but it was a bronze dragon already descending and heading straight for them.

So this is Haylee, Jensen mused. He could see what Tonayr saw in her: she was graceful in the sky and her features were pleasing. She landed a few feet away from them and there was smoke curling from her nostrils. Her whole posture was tense, projecting aggression. Haylee was pissed.

She wants to talk to you, Tonayr said, slightly apprehensive. Then he pushed their link wide open and Jensen could hear everything Haylee said. He wished he couldn’t.

You, she hissed. You are supposed to be a hero. Not some washed up, no good asshole hiding in the mountains like a coward and doing nothing but wallow in self-pity the whole day!

“Now hold on,” Jensen said, but she spewed fire into his face, hot air rushing past him. He thought she might even have singed his eyebrows.

I am not done. We crossed half of the known world to find you. Jared left everything behind and risked the lives of his friends and family. If Pellegrino finds out where he went they’re all in danger, and you, you sent him away! You fucked him and then you tossed him aside, like he meant nothing! You don’t even deserve to touch the ground he walks on!

“I had no idea who he was,” Jensen tried to defend himself and Haylee let another flame roar up into the sky.

You should have realized the moment you met him. Jared is special and he looked up to you - he worshipped your memory and you trampled it with your feet. And that doesn’t even touch on you refusing to help out your home.

Jensen crossed his arms in front of his chest. “As I already told Jared, it’s not my home anymore.”

Haylee actually rolled her eyes and turned to Tonayr. The link remained open, so Jensen could hear every word she hissed out.

And what kind of dragon are you to let your Rider go off the rails like this? You’re supposed to look out for him!”

I was exiled too, Tonayr said, You’re too young to understand, but I needed time to grieve as well.

Jensen had no difficulty seeing the contempt in Haylee’s eyes.

It’s no excuse. You have an obligation. You were a legend, one of the first dragons I ever learned about, and I come out here and find this. The only one living up to her reputation is Shayleen. Really, how you could even think that I-

Abruptly, the link closed, and while Jensen could feel Tonayr’s embarrassment, he couldn’t hear Haylee anymore.

Tonayr? he asked, but his dragon pushed him out.

Haylee shot Jensen another pissed look, roared at him, and then left.

After a short silence, Jensen turned to look at his dragon. Tonary was sitting there crestfallen, winds drooping to the ground. Jensen had never seen him like that.

“What did she say?” he asked.

Tonayr’s head shot up and he regained his composure.

That you need to apologize to Jared and that we need to help them. Obviously.

Jensen could sense there was more to it. He didn’t push it though. Tonayr didn’t want to share his obvious embarrassment with him. Instead, Jensen looked angrily down to the valley where Greenwood lay and Jared was probably sitting in the Golden Boar, drinking a beer. This whole mess was his fault and it was also his fault that Tonayr was looking like his world had just come crumbling down. Jensen hadn’t felt this protective of his dragon in a long time, simply because there weren’t many things that could threaten Tonayr, and he’d never shown such emotional vulnerability before.

Jared and Haylee needed to go, for the sake of Jensen’s peace of mind and everyone else’s.



Jared was sitting outside behind the little barn next to the Golden Boar. He’d taken off his vest, shoes, and socks, and was trying to enjoy the sun. Ever since the morning when he’d realized that everything with Jensen has been a giant mistake, he hadn’t been able to get warm. If this continued, he’d have to start sleeping with Haylee in the mountains.

He tried to block out all thoughts and just listen to the soft rustling of the wind and birds chirping in the distance.

He was pulled out of his musings when he heard quick footsteps approaching. He looked up just in time to see Jensen storming angrily over from the tavern.

“You need to leave,” he snarled at Jared. “Today.”

Jared stood up, trying to even the playing field by getting his height advantage back. But it didn’t help, the sight of Jensen still made his knees weak and his heart beat accelerate, even though anger and disappointment threatened to win out.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Jared asked.

“My problem? I’ll tell you what my problem is. You showing up here and dragging all this crap up again. I was happy here, I’d made peace with my life, but now you and your dimples are here and you’re looking at me like - I don’t even know and now your dragon is bothering mine-”

That got Jared his voice back. “Oh no, you don’t. Don’t you dare to say one word about her. Haylee has done nothing wrong!”

“She was accosting Tonayr, she needs to back the fuck off!”

Jared snorted. “First off, I don’t tell her what to do. We’re a team. And secondly, from what I remember, I doubt she could bother Tonayr against his will.”

Jensen changed tactics then, crowding Jared against the wall of the barn. “What are you even still doing here? I told you to leave me alone.”

“You might be the biggest disappointment of my life, but I’m not ready to give up on you yet. I will save Nereya and you’re still my best shot, despite being a washed-up, cynical asshole.”

Jensen laughed bitterly. “You thought I would be your hero, huh? That I would just save you?”

Jared pushed his chin out. “The last time I saw you, you were a hero. You were a proud man, but a good man. You always did what was right, fought for the people. I refuse to believe that that man has disappeared.”

Jensen shook his head with a sardonic grin. “He didn’t disappear, kid, he died. The Republic burned him right out of me when they exiled me.”

Jared shook his head. If Jensen was so angry, there just had to be something left of the man he once was.

“I don’t believe that,” he said stubbornly, clinging to the hope that some part of Jensen still had to care.

Jensen pushed in closer, their chests almost touching and the contact made Jared dizzy. Green eyes were glinting cruelly, hard and hungry, and Jensen licked his lips.

“So you want me to be your hero? To save you?”

Jared nodded, suddenly unable to speak. Jensen’s hands curled around his hips, thumbs digging in next to his hipbones just above the waist of his pants. Then Jensen surged forward and kissed him hard, mouth biting at Jared’s lips, and Jared was unable to do anything but react. He reached for Jensen and held onto his shoulders, the shape of them already familiar under his hands.

Jensen growled and slammed him into the wall, stealing the air out of his mouth with every angry swipe of his tongue.

“I won't, you understand?” Jensen asked into his mouth, hands already tugging on Jared’s pants, pulling the laces open.

“The fuck you will,” Jared panted out, trying to get a hold of himself. He couldn’t think - Jensen’s mouth and his hands wouldn’t let him - so he focused on the burning anger in Jensen’s words. He just had to make him see.

“I know you fucking care,” he said, getting his hands under Jensen’s shirt and digging his nails into the hard muscles. “You’re just too pissed to admit it.”

“Damn right I’m pissed,” Jensen muttered and reached into Jared’s opened pants, grabbing his dick firmly. Jared was already hard, had been from the first moment Jensen touched him, and he couldn’t stop his hips from bucking up into Jensen’s fist.

“But it’s time to get over it,” Jared managed to get out, trying to grip the back of Jensen's neck and pull him in for a kiss. Jensen went with a moan, mouth crashing into Jared’s, biting viciously until he drew blood. Jared needed more.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jensen shot back, jacking Jared harder, pushing him towards his climax way too fast.

Jared pushed him back with all his strength, looking him dead in the eyes. “Yeah, I do,” he said breathing hard. “I don’t know what it means to be betrayed like that, but I know what it means to feel the worst possible pain rip you apart.”

Jensen was frozen, dark eyes with pupils blown wide staring at Jared, so raw and open, all of his defenses down, and Jared could see right through him. He leaned forward slowly and touched his lips to Jensen's almost tenderly, trying to comfort him, to tell him it was okay.

Jensen stayed still, letting it happen, until Jared breathed out a quiet, “Jensen. Please.”

Jensen exploded in motion, pushing Jared away and shoving him around at the same time, slamming him face first into the wall.

“So this what you want, huh?”

He ripped Jared’s pants down and kicked his legs apart, giving Jared no time to properly process what was happening until a spit-slick finger pressed against his opening.

“Is it? Tell me, Jared!”

Jared closed his eyes and nodded, not quite sure what he was agreeing too, but he could sense that Jensen needed this and he did too. He needed Jensen to take him apart and show him he cared by putting him back together again.

Jensen’s fingers pushed in, too much and too dry, but Jared pushed back onto them anyway. Jensen was muttering behind him, but over the rushing in his ears, Jared only understood half of it.

“Fucking skies… so fucking beautiful… what are you doing to me, I won’t… can’t make me…”

Jared thrust back hard, arching his back, and with a groan Jensen pulled his fingers out. Jared heard him spit into his hand and then Jensen’s dick pressed wetly against his ass. Jared knew that this would hurt and he didn’t give a damn.

“Please,” he begged.

Jensen answered with a hoarse, “Yes.”

He pushed inside him and Jared couldn’t focus on anything other than Jensen hot and hard inside of him. When he was all the way in, chest to back, breath gushing over Jared’s neck, Jensen stilled.

“Skies!”

Jared let himself lean into the wall, felt the rough wood of the barn against his cheek and his hands, felt the stubble of Jensen’s scruff rub against his shoulder. Jensen’s hands trailed up and down his sides, the sun shone on his hair, and warm air wafted against his sweat slicked skin.

But it wasn’t enough. He clenched around Jensen, pain and pleasure shooting up his spine, and with a moan, Jensen pulled back before slamming back into him. He set a fast rhythm, hips snapping forward mercilessly, and Jared pushed back as hard as he could, bracing himself against the wall. Jensen's mouth found his neck, worried his skin, and bit down until he drew blood.

The pain was almost too much, but then Jensen shifted his stance and his dick brushed against that spot inside of Jared, making the pain nothing more than a hard edge to sharpen the pleasure. He felt his rhythm falter, couldn’t control his hips anymore, just mindlessly seeking friction, but he was distantly aware that Jensen wasn’t doing much better, hips moving in erratic motions.

He shoved up roughly, hit Jared’s sweet spot dead-on, and Jared came hard, orgasm hitting him out of nowhere. Through the waves of pleasure wrecking his body, he could feel Jensen shudder and jerk behind him, heard him shout out Jared’s name, before they both fell still and leaned heavily against the wall.

Jared held his breath, waiting for Jensen to say something, do something, acknowledge in any way what had just happened, but he just stepped back, pulling out quietly. Jared didn’t dare to turn around. He didn’t want to see what he’d find.

In the quiet of the day, he heard the rustling of clothes, the soft clink of a belt being closed, and then steps - moving away.

Jared scrambled to pull up his pants, but he didn’t turn around. He leaned into the wall and cursed the tear running down his face while Jensen walked off.



It was a little before sunset when Jensen reached his small hut. He hadn’t exactly hurried on the way back. He’d felt the urge to go up high into the skies, but he had a feeling that Tonayr would be less than pleased with him when he found out what had happened. When Jensen walked by him, Tonayr tilted his head and sniffed him once.

So you changed your mind.

Jensen hated that Tonayr sounded satisfied.

“No, I didn’t,” he bit out.

He could feel his dragon’s confusion as he sniffed at Jensen again to make sure he’d smelled right, that it was Jared’s scent on Jensen’s skin.

But…

“No.” Jensen said, projecting enough anger to end the conversation. “Just... no.”

It didn’t work though. Tonayr got up on all fours and walked over to Jensen so he could stare him right in the face, eyes so dark they were almost black.

But why? Why won’t you go back?

“What, you actually want to?” Jensen asked in disbelief. “Have you forgotten how they treated us? We gave them everything, our whole lives! We never took anything for ourselves, and they thanked us by banning us from our home? And you want to go back?”

Jensen didn’t understand. He’d felt Tonayr’s bitterness, as much as his own.

Yes, Tonayr said calmly, but with purpose behind it. I miss my home. I miss our purpose. I might have been angry in the beginning, but priorities shift. Perception shifts. And I do miss the company.

“You’re a dragon. You’re solitary by nature. And you’re an especially antisocial bastard, just like me.”

He could feel a flicker of Tonayr’s amusement, but it was drenched in bitterness. I’m bonded to a human, even though he’s an antisocial bastard. I can’t just go live in the wild and do nothing but sun and hunt. I’m not an animal, and you know that. It’s boring and meaningless. You might be able to sit in a pub all day and drown your sorrows in alcohol, but I can’t do that. You might be able to wallow in self-pity, I can’t. You might be content with never finding a mate, but I’m not!

Tonayr’s voice was getting louder, resounding through Jensen’s mind and the anger coming over their link was almost overwhelming. Every one of his words felt like the stab of a knife right into Jensen’s heart.

You’re so caught up in your own self-righteous wallowing that you can’t see anybody else’s pain. Not even mine. And not the pain of those back home you used to be so proud to protect.

Jensen’s legs gave out under him and he sat down on a small boulder. He knew Tonayr was right. He’d buried himself in the anger and tried to use it to burn the pain away. Obviously, he’d failed spectacularly. When Jared had shown up, he’d just pushed it down deeper and deeper, because there was a part of him that had always known they could have stayed and fought. But they had been so angry, so hurt... Jensen hadn’t wanted to stay. It hadn’t taken him long to realize what a petty mistake he’d made, but by then it had been too late. He’d had to live with it. Or so he’d thought. Apparently, now everybody was of a different opinion.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Jensen asked helplessly. He’d never in his life felt as bad as he did now. He’d failed Tonayr, his oldest companion, his best friend, the other half to his soul and the most amazing creature to walk this earth.

I didn’t think it would make a difference, his dragon said. And I was… resigned to this. I was living in a rut, just letting the days pass by. But now, things have changed.

“You want Haylee, don’t you?” That much Jensen had been able to pick up on, even though their link was almost closed most of the time.

Tonayr fixed his eyes on him, a harsh yellow. Jensen called them his poker eyes, because they were the color that gave nothing away.

Yes, I do. She showed up while you were with Jared, but she left after a short time. I didn’t realize at first and I’m not sure why exactly I feel drawn to her... she’s still so young.Tonayr was quiet for a moment, and his eyes went soft, changed to a warmer amber. Maybe it’s because she’s so young. Despite everything, she hasn’t lost her innocence, her ideals. She still has hope, believes in the good. Her presence is a balm to my soul. And, apart from Shayleen, she’s the fiercest dragon I have ever seen.

“I’m glad for you,” Jensen said, and it was true. It was the first time that Tonayr had really wanted another dragon as his mate, and Jensen knew it was something he’d wanted for a long time.

We would be a good fit. After all, you want her Rider.

“No, I don’t.” His denial was a knee-jerk reaction. Jensen didn’t want a partner, and certainly not someone like Jared.

Tonayr looked at him, the ridge over his left eye raised in the ultimate you’re-not-fooling-me expression. You slept with him.

“Yeah, well, a man has needs.”

I know, the dragon said, but that didn’t feel like simply sating your carnal desires.

Jensen wasn’t particularly disturbed by Tonayr feeling his emotions during sex; that was nothing new and there was no room for secrets or embarrassment between dragon and Rider. Still, it unsettled him that the dragon had so clearly realized what he’d tried not to think about.

“I’m not gonna say it wasn’t intense, because it was. But it’s complicated. The same things you adore in Haylee, I can’t bear them in Jared. I just can’t feel that way anymore.”

Jensen walked over to Tonayr and sat down on his tail. It was something that used to be such a natural thing to do, but he couldn’t remember the last time they’d been so casually intimate. Their bond had weakened, and he’d let it.

“I was his idol,” Jensen said when Tonayr stayed quiet. “I could see it in his eyes, the disappointment when he realized that I’m not that person anymore. That I’m not the brave hero he wants me to be.”

You used to be, Tonayr said. We used to be.

Jensen didn’t answer for a long time, staring out across the grassland. It was all wrong. The grass was too green and too long, the river’s color was more green than blue, and the roads were missing the tint of red in their stamped earth. It was all wrong, because it wasn't home. But there was this deep dark pit in him that had festered for so long. Jensen knew he wasn’t the same man as before.

“I don’t think I know how to go back,” he admitted quietly.

Tonayr shuffled around, curling himself around the tip of his tail and propping up his wings halfway, cocooning Jensen with his body.

There is someone there who wants to help you with that. Let him, Jensen. Please let him.

Jensen looked up at the tiny piece of sky he could see between the tips of Tonayr’s dark wings. It was blue and cloudless, a perfect day for flying.

Tonayr felt the same and he pushed their link wide open when he remembered all their flights. The first one, when Tonayr had finally reached the mountain and just scooped him up and taken him into the air before they’d even exchanged a word.

The first flight on the training grounds and the first time Jensen had understood what it meant when people looked at him in admiration. The first time they had flown into battle, the thrill of the fight, the two of them working as one, and the satisfaction because of the lives they saved.

Their last, when Tonayr had landed just a few miles away, and they had looked out over the mountains, ignoring the green Plains, and didn’t care it was ugly and unforgiving land, because they couldn’t bear to be in the air without their purpose for one second longer. They’d traveled the world aimlessly for a long time, but no place could hold their interest and they were just done. They hadn’t been able to take it anymore.

Jensen didn’t need to say anything. Tonayr just spread his wings and Jensen put his foot on the spike at the back of his leg and, with a move executed a thousand times before, he gripped the first joint of Tonayr’s wing and pulled himself up just as the dragon lifted his leg and his wing. Jensen was sitting on his back in a second, and he slowly reached out to the short spikes running down Tonayr’s back.

“Thank you.”

Tonayr crouched and spread his wings. With a powerful leap, he was up in the air and Jensen's body moved with Tonayr’s without thought. They climbed higher and higher, wind getting colder and stronger. Jensen wanted to blame it on not being in the air for so long when a tear escaped his eyes.

I know, Tonayr said and took them higher. It was a long time before they came down again.



The spare pair of pants went into the bag first, tightly rolled up. It was heavy, so it had to be put at the bottom. Slowly, mechanically, Jared continued to pack the rest of his belongings. His head was still pounding and he actually thought there was some left-over alcohol in his system from his pity party the night before. He tried not to think about Jensen, because thinking about Jensen would mean thinking about his failure. He hadn’t been able to find any help for the Republic; it would be on him and his friends now to change things while keeping everything together, and fighting a war on two borders.

Jared had no idea how they would go about their revolution, or what needed to be done to overthrow Pellegrino’s triumvirate. Sure, Jared had studied their history, but back when the Republic had been formed, everyone had hated the king and loved the Riders. Nowadays, people had lost their trust in the Wings.

A knock at the door startled him out of his dark thoughts and his heart started beating faster. Maybe…

“It’s open,” he yelled.

When the door opened, it was only Kane. Jared tried to hide his disappointment but he must not have succeeded, because Kane laughed.

“Sorry, kid,” he offered, “but Jensen is still sulking.”

“Yeah, no, I wasn’t-” Jared broke off, not even sure what he wanted to say.

“You’re packing?” Kane asked.

Jared shrugged his shoulders. “The situation in Nereya isn’t getting better. I need to go back and do what I can.”

Kane walked over and sat down on the bed. “I thought you came here to find help? You giving up already?”

Jared glared at him. “Jensen made it perfectly clear that he won’t go back to Nereya. And I certainly won’t beg him!”

“Ouch. Well, I think you should stick around for a day more.”

Jared looked at Kane sharply. “Why?”

“Well, for one thing, I have decided to go back with you. Granted, I’m no Jensen, but I’ll be one more Rider on your side and out for Pellegrino’s blood.” Kane smiled, and it was hard and feral. For the first time, Jared thought he got a glimpse of the man their enemies had feared. “I need to get my things together, but I should be ready to leave tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” Jared sincerely. “Really. It means a lot.”

Kane shrugged it off. “Hey, you're right. I’m not saying I’m not still mad as fuck, but we can’t punish the people for it. And my hatred for Pellegrino outweighs whatever anger I feel for those who sold us out, so really, it’s time.”

“And Jensen?” Jared asked, not knowing if he wanted the answer. His cheeks still burned in shame when he remembered the last time they had spoken. Or, the last time they had fucked would be more accurate. He felt himself redden deeply. Jensen had just taken all his anger and frustration out on him and, because Jared apparently still had bits of that pathetic crush left, he’d begged him for more. Definitely not his finest hour.

“Jensen will come with us,” Kane said with conviction. “But not before tomorrow.”

“Did you talk to him?” Jared asked, completely stunned. Had Jensen really changed his mind?

“No.” Kane shook his head. “But I saw him and Tonayr take to the skies earlier, and it’s been a long time since they were both up there. Trust me, kid, they’ll come.”

With that, he stood up, clapped Jared on the shoulder and walked out the door. “Give him some time, and he’ll come around,” was the last thing he said before he disappeared down the stairs.

Jared was left in the half-packed chaos of his room, with no idea what was going on.

Haylee!

He was running down the stairs and outside, calling over their bond as loud as he could. Haylee had been agitated the whole day, flying circles in the sky, her manner of pacing like a caged animal. She came diving down instantly.

What? she asked, worry in her tone.

Jared jumped onto her back as soon as she landed. Up, he said, I just need to get up.

Haylee pushed up from the ground, climbing higher and higher in wide corkscrews until they were so high that his breath was forming little clouds in the air.

Will you tell me what’s going on?

“Kane said he will come with us. And so will Jensen.”

Haylee was quiet for a moment. That’s very good, she said carefully.

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t know what this means for me. Does he hate me? Does he… is there even the chance of something more?"

Halyee snorted. Yesterday you said you hated him and you never wanted to see him again. Remember that? When you were drowning your sorrows in whiskey and telling me that you were done with him, once and for all?

Jared looked down at her scales, big and hard on her back. He traced the outlines with his fingers, stalling. He didn’t know how to explain this to her.

I understand that you’re hurt, she said softly. But I can sense that you still have strong emotions for him.

“I don’t understand why! He’s a coward and an ass, he treated me like shit, and-”

No, he isn’t, not really, and I think you know that. He’s hurting and confused and they’ve been alone for too long. They’ve been hiding here in the mountains, and every day their anger had time to fester more. The heroes they used to be, I think they’re still there. We just have to dig them out.

Jared didn’t miss the shift in pronouns.

“You like him,” he stated and he didn’t mean Jensen.

We all make mistakes, was all Haylee said though, and I think we all deserve a chance to atone for them.



Jensen entered the Golden Boar the next evening. Jared had already debated whether Chris might have been wrong about him and ordered himself a drink. Jensen walked in, ordered a beer at the bar in passing, and sat down across from Jared. He was wearing completely unassuming clothes, dark pants and boots, a shirt that probably used to be white at some point and had shifted to a light beige now, and a simple vest over it. He was still the most beautiful man Jared had ever seen, and Jared hated himself for thinking that, even after all the crap Jensen had pulled.

“By all means, have a seat,” Jared grumbled, hiding his discomfort by taking a large gulp of beer.

Lindsey came over then, bringing Jensen his beer, and her eyes darted back and forth between them. “Anything else I can get you boys?” she asked and Jared shook his head.

He didn't miss how she lingered, trying to listen in on their conversation. Which was why he waited until she was out of earshot, to ask, “So?”

Jensen’s whole posture was tense, screaming that he didn’t want to be here. “Tonayr and I have talked about what’s going on in Nereya and we’ve decided to go back.”

“Really?” Jared asked skeptically. “That easy?”

Jensen let out a hollow laugh. “Nothing about this is easy. Do you have any idea what’s coming for us? Tonayr and I traveled enough before we came here, and I’ve seen countries ripped apart by civil war. Trust me, it’s an ugly thing.”

“It’s already ugly. And Pellegrino is playing a dangerous game, letting the war go on so he can use it for his own purposes. People are already dying, and if he goes too far, he won’t be able to turn back.”

Reluctantly, Jensen nodded. “We can try to take him out, of course, but Jared, it won’t solve the problem. Chris and me, we can take over the Black Wing and turn the war around, but it won’t change how things are run in the Capital. You realize that, right?”

“Well, yes,” Jared said, “I know that. We’ll also have to get rid of Pellegrino’s friends and restore the old constitution. And we need to get rid of the priests.”

“What? What’s your problem with the Priests? I mean yeah, Sheppard has to go, but otherwise…”

“Did you know they were lying?” Jared asked, his voice still shaking with anger when he thought about it. “You don’t need the ceremony to fully open the link, it forms on its own.”

Jensen looked pensive, but not really surprised. “You’re sure?” he asked.

“Yeah. Codey and Felicia never participated in the ceremony.”

Jensen drew back, eyeing him suspiciously. “Who are Codey and Felicia?”

Jared explained about the new laws concerning women and the changes in the Wings. Jensen was outraged, but when Jared came to the part where he made the journey with an inexperienced dragon and a new Rider, his anger turned on Jared.

“What the hell were you thinking, taking them with you? If anything had happened-”

“Yeah, well they couldn’t stay in Nereya,” Jared cut him off angrily. “It’s called compassion, jackass. I know you lost yours along the way, but try to at least get it back.”

Jensen looked like Jared had hit him in the face, before his features evened out back to his mask of aloof indifference.

“With your bleeding heart attitude you won’t get far fighting a war,” Jensen remarked, emptying his tankard.

Jared just snorted. “Because yours is so much better.”

“At least I’m a realist,” Jensen said, almost sounding bored. “You have this crazy idea that my return will change the whole game but it won’t. Even if people are as desperate as you say, there will be a lot of people who don’t want to see me return, starting with everyone holding a position of power.”

Jared took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “I never said it would be easy. But you are the only one who can save us, so suck it up. We need to win the war and we need to restore order to the country, and-”

“Yeah, and I really don’t know what you want me to do about that. I’m not a politician, Jared, I’m a warrior.”

His hands balled into fists on their own accord and Jared forced himself to relax them. He needed to stay rational to talk some sense into Jensen, and yelling probably wouldn’t help him. “I know you’re not a politician, but you could be the symbol for what the Republic used to stand for!”

“But don’t you see, Jared?” Jensen asked and there was a flicker of emotion in his eyes. “If the Republic needs a symbol to hold it together, it’s already failed! The whole idea of the Riders flying for the greater good, the people making the decisions, it failed. Democracy doesn’t work.”

Jared shook his head angrily. “No. We just grew complacent, that’s all. Like everything else that’s good in life, you have to fight tooth and nail to get it and to keep it. The Republic works, as long as the people fight for it.”

Jensen leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. “I thought the whole point was that there shouldn’t be fighting.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “In what kind of world were you living? Life is always a fight.”

“And when did you become so wise, boy?”

Jared clenched his fists, but the memories of his parents’ burned bodies came unbidden. He could still smell the smoke like it had been yesterday, could still hear the creaking of the wood and the absolute silence of a place shrouded in death.

He pulled himself out of the memories, and Jensen was watching him with a strange look. There was regret in there and even tenderness.

“I’m sorry,” he said stiffly, “I shouldn't have assumed.”

Jared wanted to shrug it off, but he didn’t feel like it.

“Yeah, you really shouldn’t. You seem to think I’m this young inexperienced boy, but I’m not. I have been a Rider for almost four years, been fighting for two. I’ve killed. I’ve lost… I have seen more than enough of death and destruction, so don’t treat me like I’m a fucking kid!”

Jensen was looking at him with something like wonder in his eyes. “How can you still think the way you do, how can you still have so much hope, if you've seen what the world is really like?”

Jensen’s eyes were searching his face, almost like he was trying to see inside of him. He wasn’t mocking Jared, he was honestly curious. Jared tried to find a way to answer his question, but he wasn't sure how to phrase it.

“I still have things left to fight for, people I care about. My sister, she’s back home and I’m the only family she hast left.” Jared swallowed and tried to keep his voice under control. “I just… I grew up with stories about dragons and their Riders, about our great country, how we’re the only ones with a democracy and I’m just not ready to give up on it. The Republic worked for four hundred years; we can’t let one single man destroy it.”

Jensen’s eyes had turned soft during Jared’s explanation but now they were cold again.

“It’s not only one man, Jared, it’s a corrupted system. Pellegrino, he just took advantage of its corroded state to break it.”

“Yeah, well, then we put it back together as soon as he’s gone.”

Jensen emptied his beer and leaned back in his chair. “It will take years.”

Jared grinned. “Well, as you so kindly pointed out I’m still young. I have the time.”

Jensen rolled his eyes and stood up. “Oh, this will be fun. We leave tomorrow at sunrise.” Then he turned around and walked away.

Jared sat slightly stunned in his chair.

“Who made him the leader?” he mumbled in Haylee’s direction, only to realize that their link was too weak to talk through. Haylee was too far away, somewhere off in the mountains. Huh. He’d had the feeling for a while now there was something growing between her and Tonayr. While he was happy for her, he wasn’t sure what that meant for him and Jensen. Riders of mated dragons had to live in a very close relationship and very few of them were platonic. But Riders of mated dragons didn’t automatically get along and a screwed up relationship while the dragons wanted to stay together could lead to disastrous conditions.

Jared sighed. There was nothing he could do about it now.



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Second Arc: Part Three >>>>