(no subject)
ok so the rest of my life depends on whether or not my application to flaler, which I sent out today, is accepted. I often worry myself when everyone tells me of the 50,384,827,827 colleges that they applied to, and that I only plan on applying to one. Maybe I really cant do this. What do I do if I dont get into my dream school. Where on earth do I go.
My 18th is in 39 days, according to Christina's Christmas countdown. 18 just basically represents this certain freedom i'm supposed to automatically feel the moment I turn 18. Like 16, another anticlimax. I just dont know what i'm looking forward to anymore. I hate starting over, I hate making new friends, and I hate realizing that I will probably never see most of my friends at school ever again. And why does everybody trying to rush to graduation? Dont they realize that this is it? This is the rest of our childhood? We have the rest of our lives to be adults, but only half a year, technically, to be a child. There's no going back, and everyone is trying to speed time up to get there even quicker. I think the number 18 is just a false hope of what we think will be the most liberating year in our lives. I think it will only restrict me even more. And who wants that.
I want to go back to the days when getting a new barbie doll was the only thing on my christmas list. And everybody was your friend, if you wished it. When my daddy was my best friend, and I never fought with him. and I though my mom knew how to heal everything, and whenever I had a question she knew it.
I dont think i'm ready for this whole adult thing. I wish I could be a kid for a few more years.
My 18th is in 39 days, according to Christina's Christmas countdown. 18 just basically represents this certain freedom i'm supposed to automatically feel the moment I turn 18. Like 16, another anticlimax. I just dont know what i'm looking forward to anymore. I hate starting over, I hate making new friends, and I hate realizing that I will probably never see most of my friends at school ever again. And why does everybody trying to rush to graduation? Dont they realize that this is it? This is the rest of our childhood? We have the rest of our lives to be adults, but only half a year, technically, to be a child. There's no going back, and everyone is trying to speed time up to get there even quicker. I think the number 18 is just a false hope of what we think will be the most liberating year in our lives. I think it will only restrict me even more. And who wants that.
I want to go back to the days when getting a new barbie doll was the only thing on my christmas list. And everybody was your friend, if you wished it. When my daddy was my best friend, and I never fought with him. and I though my mom knew how to heal everything, and whenever I had a question she knew it.
I dont think i'm ready for this whole adult thing. I wish I could be a kid for a few more years.