true love ?

[ashton_blaze]

In a friend's LJ he posted this "open to questions, and anyone can answer" type of meme thing. My response to one of the questions got too big for a comment, so posting a reply here.

feel free to comment here, but i'm going to abstain from posting a link to the original post. I think i spammed up his LJ enough. :)

1. why is love so cliche? why

Comments

eeeenteresting....

[fatefox]

This seems like a pretty sad point of view. It's true though; rare are the individuals who put their true selves out there to be stomped on.

Pop culture doesn't allow for people to be individuals. Women are supposed to be 5' 7" and 125#, blue-eyed, blond and stacked. Men are supposed to be the masculine equivalent. If you fall into that definition, congratulations you can be a bitch/prick and still find a willing mate. If you don't you are left as a wallflower in the dating game, and have to pretend to be something you're not to find anyone willing to spend time with you. But in most cases people are more attracted to the outer shell than the inner person. That need to breed.... sigh.

There's not enough room to rant about religion, so I'll let it go. (No, I won't) Suffice it to say many ppl have bad relationships &/or marriages just because the dictates of said "faith" make unreasonable demands like no sex prior to marriage or sex only for spawning. It takes fortitude to give religion and your societal norms the Bird. In some places it can be fatal (Iran/Afghanistan/Saudi Arabia).

So there's also the fear of being alone, the fear of societal shunning, and the insecurity of being afraid that nobody will like The Real You (tm) and feeling as though you need to hide the most intimate secrets of yourself. Even in long-term relationships that hiding happens. Some secrets are healthy though, I don't think it's good for everyone to know everything about their mate. That leads to complacency, and doesn't leave any mystery to explore.

Those who are unafraid to be themselves get hurt, but they also open themselves up to finding the truly perfect love partner (assuming they can find someone who is as open as they themselves are). Unfortunately, that willingness to risk shunning happens much later in the psychological development, which leads to divorce based on "irreconcilable differences" since most people are married before they find out who THEY are.

Then there are those who are asocial, who don't give a shit if they find someone or not; WYSIWYG. If they meet someone who is unafraid to be themselves, and they find themselves compatable, that can become love. It might not be at the outset - more a meeting of kindred spirits, but the honesty up front allows for the seeds to grow. Dishonesty about who you are really kills love before it has a chance to take root.

Taking a chance and succeeding is worth the pain of failure. I believe this with all my tiny, black heart. :)

Do I make any sense? Or am I a babbling fool?