The Book of Genesis from the StageCrew Bible
(nabbed from the British Theatre Guide)
In the beginning there was the Stage, and the Stage was without lights or sets, and darkness was on the face of the actors. And the Stage Manager said, "Let there be Lights!" and the TECHIES worked and wired, and there were lights. Spotlights and specials, areas and backlighting, profiles and fresnels, floods both symmetric and asymmetric - yea, lights of all shapes, sizes and hues. And the SM saw the lights, that they were focused and coloured according to the need, and no more was there darkness on the faces of the actors. And he saw that it was good. And the evening and morning were the First Day.
And the SM looked upon the actors and saw that, although they walked in light, they did walk upon a bare stage, and had no place to be, and the SM was moved to pity. And the SM said, "Let there be scenery!": and the TECHIES scrambled and worked, and there was a set, with platforms, trucks, stairs, and furniture of various types and sizes according to the need. And the actors did walk within the set, and did have a place to be. And the SM saw the set, that it was good, and the evening and the morning were the Second Day.
And the SM saw the actors, that although they did have a place to be, they did look like fools for they waved their hands, clutched at open air, and struck each other with nothing. And the SM was moved to pity. And he said, "Let there be Props!": and the TECHIES worked feverishly and did buy and build, and there were props. The SM saw the props, that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Third Day.
And the SM looked upon the actors, and saw that they did go forth in blue jeans and knew that this would not do. And the SM said, "Let there be Costumes!" And the Techies did cut and sew and shape and there were costumes, each sized to the actor, according to the play, and in keeping with the role. And no more did the actors go forth in blue jeans. And the SM saw the costumes, that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Fourth Day.
And the SM watched the play and saw that the actors did wait in silence, and was moved to pity. And the SM said, "Let there be Sound!" And the techies worked and taped, and there were sounds, each according to its place and cue, all at the proper levels. And the SM heard the sounds, that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Fifth Day.
And lo, all these works were completed in five days, showing that if God had used sufficient TECHIES in the first place, He would have finished sooner.
For more Great Wisdom from the StageCrew Bible see: April 28th, 2005
In the beginning there was the Stage, and the Stage was without lights or sets, and darkness was on the face of the actors. And the Stage Manager said, "Let there be Lights!" and the TECHIES worked and wired, and there were lights. Spotlights and specials, areas and backlighting, profiles and fresnels, floods both symmetric and asymmetric - yea, lights of all shapes, sizes and hues. And the SM saw the lights, that they were focused and coloured according to the need, and no more was there darkness on the faces of the actors. And he saw that it was good. And the evening and morning were the First Day.
And the SM looked upon the actors and saw that, although they walked in light, they did walk upon a bare stage, and had no place to be, and the SM was moved to pity. And the SM said, "Let there be scenery!": and the TECHIES scrambled and worked, and there was a set, with platforms, trucks, stairs, and furniture of various types and sizes according to the need. And the actors did walk within the set, and did have a place to be. And the SM saw the set, that it was good, and the evening and the morning were the Second Day.
And the SM saw the actors, that although they did have a place to be, they did look like fools for they waved their hands, clutched at open air, and struck each other with nothing. And the SM was moved to pity. And he said, "Let there be Props!": and the TECHIES worked feverishly and did buy and build, and there were props. The SM saw the props, that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Third Day.
And the SM looked upon the actors, and saw that they did go forth in blue jeans and knew that this would not do. And the SM said, "Let there be Costumes!" And the Techies did cut and sew and shape and there were costumes, each sized to the actor, according to the play, and in keeping with the role. And no more did the actors go forth in blue jeans. And the SM saw the costumes, that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Fourth Day.
And the SM watched the play and saw that the actors did wait in silence, and was moved to pity. And the SM said, "Let there be Sound!" And the techies worked and taped, and there were sounds, each according to its place and cue, all at the proper levels. And the SM heard the sounds, that they were good. And the evening and the morning were the Fifth Day.
And lo, all these works were completed in five days, showing that if God had used sufficient TECHIES in the first place, He would have finished sooner.
For more Great Wisdom from the StageCrew Bible see: April 28th, 2005