i'm Not an Oversized Freak
i swear!
So why, last night, when i was shoe shopping in Basra Asda (don't look at me like that, i'm a poor student) was i getting the feeling that i should just've gone up to the counter and asked for the fuckin' boxes.
Seriously, i knew it was really bad when i walked over to the men's section and still couldn't find shoes big enough!
There was nothing in the women's section that even approached a size 9. Not even close. And there were some very pretty shoes.
Ok, yes, i own what pretty much amounts to a single pair of boots, and that's almost all i ever wear. i gots a pair of party shoes and some sandals for summer, but that's it. But it doesn't mean i'm a complete loss to the female species. i do occasionally want to buy some completely gratuitous shoes for no good reason.
The sight of about forty pairs of size 3s nearly broke my heart. Then i moved over to the men's and the first three pairs i picked up are size 7/8s. *weeps* (Also, and don't tell anyone 'cos this maybe be what finally have them revoke my XX card, the blokes shoes were actually very tempting. Some v nice boots in dark brown leather... mmm...)
Seriously, am i that much of a freak?
Also, i've fallen in love. If anyone wants to buy me anything from this website for Crimbo i will not argue. Plus, i must stop buying the Sib prezzies and instead get on with everyone else's.
Now, a shite meme. (this is wot i get from trawling through episkopos's lj, obviously)
Apparently, if you've seen less than eighty-five of these, you have no life.
And whoever said that will be First Against the Wall When the Revolution Comes, Comrades. Have no fear of that.
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
( ) Grease 2
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints (but i would like to, if only 'cos he slash looks good. Yes, i'm cheap)
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch (seen the series)
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
(x) Braveheart (ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! FlashFact: i'm actually distantly related to William Wallace, so this hurts me on more levels that everyone else.)
Running Total: 8
( ) The Princess Bride (tho the Sib's unending disappointment. Not even read the book yet)
(x) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth (but i remember nothing about it except David Bowie's PVC covered crotch)
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Running Total: 11
( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
(please, don't make me cry vomit laff)
Running Total: 11
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer (BILLY IDOL *dies*)
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch (seen the series)
Running Total: 17
( ) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30 (oh, Jenn, how could you?)
(x) I, Robot (not as bad as i, a confirmed Asimov fan, thought it was going to be)
( ) Roots
Running Total: 20
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (hehe heh, "i'm a bisexual", heheh)
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events (mmm... yet more proof i should move to Japan)
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers (the MumMonster's favourite film, scarily enough)
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG
Running Total: 26
( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie (EH? WTF?)
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloweentown
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber (both versions)
Running Total: 27
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship (heh, always remember this film 'cos i saw it at a lesbian party)
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards (Nekkid chick with a gun! WIN!)
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Running Total: 32
( ) The Day After Tomorrow (GRRRR)
( ) Child's Play 1
( ) Child's Play 2
( ) Child's Play 3
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Running total: 33
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven (both versions)
(x) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Running Total: 38
( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss's Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Running Total: 39
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (Yay! *cries like a chick*)
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump(only person in the world not to enjoy it. i appreciate that it's great, i just never want to see it again)
(x) Big Trouble in Little China (unlike this film, which i know is shite but i could just watch again and again)
( ) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Running Total: 48
(x) X-Men
(x) X-Men 2
( ) X-Men 3
(x) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High (heh, i own this one on DVD, it's my "i'm SICK *coffcoff*" film, pure comfort food)
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday (the original, not the Lohan one)
(x) Reign of Fire (mmm... Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale, Alexander Siddig, fuckin' great dragons, complete lack of realism. What more could you want?)
(x) The Skulls (yeah, it was on and i was drunk. Don't ask me to remember any of it)
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Running Total: 58
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
(x) Star Wars Episode I
(x) Star Wars Episode II
(x) Star Wars Episode III
(x) Star Wars Episode IV
(x) Star Wars Episode V
(x) Star Wars Episode VI
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Kill Bill
( ) Kill Bill Vol 2
FINAL TOTAL: 67 movies (for my sins) out of 185 of the shitest movies they coulda picked. i mean seriously, i'm expected to believe "The Lizzie McGuire Movie" is essential viewing? Hah.
Try these instead.
( ) Brief Encounter
( ) Kes
( ) The Red Shoes
( ) The Bridge on the River Kwai
( ) The Ladykillers (the original)
( ) Get Carter
( ) Chariots of Fire *hums*
( ) Four Weddings and a Funeral
( ) The Full Monty
( ) Withnail and I
( ) Gregory's Girl
( ) Zulu
( ) The Italian Job (either)
( ) A Fish Called Wanda (which i've only seen in French. Go figure?)
( ) Shakespeare in Love
( ) Brazil
( ) Sense and Sensibility
( ) The Railway Children (get yer knickers out!)
( ) The Dam Busters *hums*
( ) Brassed Off
( ) A Hard Day's Night *hums*
( ) The Belles of St. Trinian's
( ) Carry On (anything)
( ) East is East
( ) The Breakfast Club (which i haven't actually seen, but i was in a theatre version of)
( ) Fight Club
( ) Splendor
( ) The Departed
( ) Children of Men
( ) Y Tu Mama, Tambien
( ) 3sum
( ) Casshern
( ) RENT *SINGS*
( ) Serenity
( ) The Wolf Man
( ) Lust of a Vampire *sniggers*
( ) Thoughtcrimes
( ) American Werewolf in London
( ) American Werewolf in Paris
( ) Dead Man on Campus
( ) Dogma
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) The Producers (either of 'em)
( ) Reservoir Dogs (true love, man. *wipes a tear away*)
( ) This Is Spinal Tap
( ) Some Like It Hot
( ) When Harry Met Sally *fakes orgasm*
( ) The Odd Couple
( ) Metropolis
( ) Flash Gordon *Flash - AHAH!*
( ) Attack of the 50ft Woman
( ) Tron
( ) Scanners II
( ) Dune
( ) Back to the Future (any of them)
( ) Cube
( ) Equilibrium
( ) Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
( ) The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) Towering Inferno
( ) It's a Wonderful Life
( ) Bedknobs & Broomsticks
( ) The Golden Voyage of Sinbad
( ) Legend
( ) Who Framed Roger Rabbit
( ) Dragonheart
( ) Sliding Doors
( ) The Wolves of Kromer (or, as the Sib puts it, GAY WEREWOLVES OMG!)
( ) Lara Croft (either of 'em)
( ) Gone in 60 Seconds (either of 'em)
( ) Spy Kids
( ) The Brothers Grimm
( ) Mr & Mrs Smith
( ) MirrorMask
( ) Eating Out
( ) Pricilla, Queen of the Desert
( ) Ice Cold in Alex *goes for a beer*
( ) City of Lost Souls
( ) Snatch
( ) The Forsaken
( ) Memento (don't tell me you don't remember watching this one)
( ) Murder by Death
( ) Murder on the Orient Express
( ) Thirteen Ghosts (shite plot, but an awesome set)
( ) The Wiz *SINGS*
( ) Boa Vs Python
( ) Once Upon a Time in Mexico
( ) Duck Soup
( ) Stargate
( ) Sin City
( ) Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
( ) Dungeons & Dragons
( ) Gangster No. 1
( ) The Road to (anywhere)
( ) Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
( ) Thoroughly Modern Millie *SINGS*
( ) Wayne's World (either of 'em)
( ) The Muppet Christmas Carol
( ) Muppet Treasure Island *SINGS*
( ) The Sea Wolves *marries the ENTIRE cast*
And if you've seen and enjoyed any of those then you'll be a man, my son you're ok by me.
So why, last night, when i was shoe shopping in Basra Asda (don't look at me like that, i'm a poor student) was i getting the feeling that i should just've gone up to the counter and asked for the fuckin' boxes.
Seriously, i knew it was really bad when i walked over to the men's section and still couldn't find shoes big enough!
There was nothing in the women's section that even approached a size 9. Not even close. And there were some very pretty shoes.
Ok, yes, i own what pretty much amounts to a single pair of boots, and that's almost all i ever wear. i gots a pair of party shoes and some sandals for summer, but that's it. But it doesn't mean i'm a complete loss to the female species. i do occasionally want to buy some completely gratuitous shoes for no good reason.
The sight of about forty pairs of size 3s nearly broke my heart. Then i moved over to the men's and the first three pairs i picked up are size 7/8s. *weeps* (Also, and don't tell anyone 'cos this maybe be what finally have them revoke my XX card, the blokes shoes were actually very tempting. Some v nice boots in dark brown leather... mmm...)
Seriously, am i that much of a freak?
Also, i've fallen in love. If anyone wants to buy me anything from this website for Crimbo i will not argue. Plus, i must stop buying the Sib prezzies and instead get on with everyone else's.
Now, a shite meme. (this is wot i get from trawling through episkopos's lj, obviously)
Apparently, if you've seen less than eighty-five of these, you have no life.
And whoever said that will be First Against the Wall When the Revolution Comes, Comrades. Have no fear of that.
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
( ) Grease 2
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints (but i would like to, if only 'cos he slash looks good. Yes, i'm cheap)
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch (seen the series)
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
(x) Braveheart (ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! FlashFact: i'm actually distantly related to William Wallace, so this hurts me on more levels that everyone else.)
Running Total: 8
( ) The Princess Bride (tho the Sib's unending disappointment. Not even read the book yet)
(x) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth (but i remember nothing about it except David Bowie's PVC covered crotch)
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Running Total: 11
( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
(please, don't make me cry vomit laff)
Running Total: 11
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer (BILLY IDOL *dies*)
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch (seen the series)
Running Total: 17
( ) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30 (oh, Jenn, how could you?)
(x) I, Robot (not as bad as i, a confirmed Asimov fan, thought it was going to be)
( ) Roots
Running Total: 20
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (hehe heh, "i'm a bisexual", heheh)
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events (mmm... yet more proof i should move to Japan)
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers (the MumMonster's favourite film, scarily enough)
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG
Running Total: 26
( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie (EH? WTF?)
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloweentown
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber (both versions)
Running Total: 27
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship (heh, always remember this film 'cos i saw it at a lesbian party)
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards (Nekkid chick with a gun! WIN!)
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Running Total: 32
( ) The Day After Tomorrow (GRRRR)
( ) Child's Play 1
( ) Child's Play 2
( ) Child's Play 3
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Running total: 33
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven (both versions)
(x) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Running Total: 38
( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss's Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Running Total: 39
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (Yay! *cries like a chick*)
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump(only person in the world not to enjoy it. i appreciate that it's great, i just never want to see it again)
(x) Big Trouble in Little China (unlike this film, which i know is shite but i could just watch again and again)
( ) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Running Total: 48
(x) X-Men
(x) X-Men 2
( ) X-Men 3
(x) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High (heh, i own this one on DVD, it's my "i'm SICK *coffcoff*" film, pure comfort food)
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday (the original, not the Lohan one)
(x) Reign of Fire (mmm... Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale, Alexander Siddig, fuckin' great dragons, complete lack of realism. What more could you want?)
(x) The Skulls (yeah, it was on and i was drunk. Don't ask me to remember any of it)
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Running Total: 58
( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
(x) Star Wars Episode I
(x) Star Wars Episode II
(x) Star Wars Episode III
(x) Star Wars Episode IV
(x) Star Wars Episode V
(x) Star Wars Episode VI
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Kill Bill
( ) Kill Bill Vol 2
FINAL TOTAL: 67 movies (for my sins) out of 185 of the shitest movies they coulda picked. i mean seriously, i'm expected to believe "The Lizzie McGuire Movie" is essential viewing? Hah.
Try these instead.
( ) Brief Encounter
( ) Kes
( ) The Red Shoes
( ) The Bridge on the River Kwai
( ) The Ladykillers (the original)
( ) Get Carter
( ) Chariots of Fire *hums*
( ) Four Weddings and a Funeral
( ) The Full Monty
( ) Withnail and I
( ) Gregory's Girl
( ) Zulu
( ) The Italian Job (either)
( ) A Fish Called Wanda (which i've only seen in French. Go figure?)
( ) Shakespeare in Love
( ) Brazil
( ) Sense and Sensibility
( ) The Railway Children (get yer knickers out!)
( ) The Dam Busters *hums*
( ) Brassed Off
( ) A Hard Day's Night *hums*
( ) The Belles of St. Trinian's
( ) Carry On (anything)
( ) East is East
( ) The Breakfast Club (which i haven't actually seen, but i was in a theatre version of)
( ) Fight Club
( ) Splendor
( ) The Departed
( ) Children of Men
( ) Y Tu Mama, Tambien
( ) 3sum
( ) Casshern
( ) RENT *SINGS*
( ) Serenity
( ) The Wolf Man
( ) Lust of a Vampire *sniggers*
( ) Thoughtcrimes
( ) American Werewolf in London
( ) American Werewolf in Paris
( ) Dead Man on Campus
( ) Dogma
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) The Producers (either of 'em)
( ) Reservoir Dogs (true love, man. *wipes a tear away*)
( ) This Is Spinal Tap
( ) Some Like It Hot
( ) When Harry Met Sally *fakes orgasm*
( ) The Odd Couple
( ) Metropolis
( ) Flash Gordon *Flash - AHAH!*
( ) Attack of the 50ft Woman
( ) Tron
( ) Scanners II
( ) Dune
( ) Back to the Future (any of them)
( ) Cube
( ) Equilibrium
( ) Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
( ) The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) Towering Inferno
( ) It's a Wonderful Life
( ) Bedknobs & Broomsticks
( ) The Golden Voyage of Sinbad
( ) Legend
( ) Who Framed Roger Rabbit
( ) Dragonheart
( ) Sliding Doors
( ) The Wolves of Kromer (or, as the Sib puts it, GAY WEREWOLVES OMG!)
( ) Lara Croft (either of 'em)
( ) Gone in 60 Seconds (either of 'em)
( ) Spy Kids
( ) The Brothers Grimm
( ) Mr & Mrs Smith
( ) MirrorMask
( ) Eating Out
( ) Pricilla, Queen of the Desert
( ) Ice Cold in Alex *goes for a beer*
( ) City of Lost Souls
( ) Snatch
( ) The Forsaken
( ) Memento (don't tell me you don't remember watching this one)
( ) Murder by Death
( ) Murder on the Orient Express
( ) Thirteen Ghosts (shite plot, but an awesome set)
( ) The Wiz *SINGS*
( ) Boa Vs Python
( ) Once Upon a Time in Mexico
( ) Duck Soup
( ) Stargate
( ) Sin City
( ) Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
( ) Dungeons & Dragons
( ) Gangster No. 1
( ) The Road to (anywhere)
( ) Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
( ) Thoroughly Modern Millie *SINGS*
( ) Wayne's World (either of 'em)
( ) The Muppet Christmas Carol
( ) Muppet Treasure Island *SINGS*
( ) The Sea Wolves *marries the ENTIRE cast*
And if you've seen and enjoyed any of those then you'll be a man, my son you're ok by me.