Wendsday yah that speed bump in the middle of the week
So today was rather boring other than dawsons creek. I mean i didnt have a bad day or but it wasnt good either. Just sorta was life. Life without living. Apparently when i laugh i look like a monkey. I think my favorite moment of the day was the 15 min phone convo with phil... hahaha just to let you know he does not have a backseat (silly swim girls)! SO i guess i should head to bed sometime soon... PSH bed sleep pratice. Well im swimming for saturday. My work schedual just got 100% busier so there goes actually having a social life. Thats right im working several friday nights sigh. Listening to the cd phil gave me it makes me smile small change... i just want some change. YOu know how life gets ordinary well i dont like htat so im really glad mine isnt. I love the change change in scenery and friends and sometimes meeting new friends or having just fun new experiences. But i must say im sick of always hearing sappy love songs on the radio-- BLINK 182.. you know what ive just made a decision im not letting it get to me anymore. My parents arnt me and just because they rnt happy doesnt mean i cant be. I love being happy i love laughing i love the safe feeling i get when im surrounded by friends the feeling i get when i make someone smile or when they smile at me. Time to say hello rob whats up and not have it be wierd. Time to let it go im not fast meg is but im not meg i wont be her i wont ever achieve the athletic accomplishments she has. Theres a lot of cool things about me that i never give myself credit for i guess i should realise that but sometimes it hard you know. wow im just rambling who even reads this crap anyway its not like anyone is that interested in my life. Oh well i read theis lj and its seen me through 2 boyfriends which is more than i can say about some of my friends. You know i was really stupid this year when it came to friends i mean sophmore year i had some good friends and some not so good friends but this year i surrounded myself with shotty friends they wernt very book. that right im making book happen its my personal mission. to many days and months wasted time to stop pretending to be who i am not. ive only let a few people see the real me and those people tend to take care of me... phil, mel, foxy, casey, frank... time to stop being polite and start being real thats right i quoted mtv. well im heading to bed tomorrow im goin to wake up and instead of laying down my mask that covers all my imperfections i will leave it off.. leave the mascara in the tube the foundation in the bottle. Every morning we lay down the foundation of a person with no imperfections, and every day it killed me more. Nows the time to be alive you only have a certain amount of time time to stop wasting it. Follow your heart into the distance time to pick myself up and run, my legs are strong enough i just never believed i was.