Blackmail
Title: Blackmail
Summary: John's cleaning the flat. As always, there are interesting objects to be found.
A/N: A little bit of happier fluff to break up all the Reichenbach sadness for my lovely darling kaleigh_marie. Not related to Reichenbach at all, actually! :)
Rating: PG in case you die of laughter
Warnings: Fluff. Lots and lots of fluff.
John's cleaning the flat. As always, there are interesting objects to be found. This time around, he found an old tape that was labeled "Blackmail - Sherlock." As if that wasn't interesting enough, it was in Lestrade's handwriting.
Sherlock had gone to Bart's for some experimenting (on God knows what), so John figured it was harmless to look at. He put the tape in and let the grainy old film play while he dusted. It didn't take long for him to stop the auxiliary activity altogether.
There was a boy, no older than six, with a paper tricorn perched atop his dark curly hair. He was stuffing clothes into a bag, turned away from the camera. When he rose to go back to his dresser, John immediately recognized the grey-blue eyes.
"Sherlock," An amused woman's voice said, presumably from behind the camera. "What are you doing, darling?"
"I'm packing." The boy replied.
"What for?"
"I'm going to be a pirate!"
Another boy, much older, walked into the frame. "You can't be a pirate. That's a stupid thing to do."
"I'm going to be a pirate and you can't stop me, Mycroft!"
"Now, boys."
Mycroft turned to the camera. "Mummy, we can't just let him run off to the sea. If he manages to not get himself killed, he'll likely die of some horrible disease on a ship. Maybe even scurvy with how little he eats."
"Let him be. He'll change his mind soon enough."
The tape cut out for a moment, then came into a slide show. It looked like it was from Sherlock's days at uni. John thought it almost looked like Halloween - everyone was dressed up. There were a number of shots with Sherlock in his normal clothes, sitting in the background of photos. Then, one particularly jarring one showed him in a full-on pirate outfit that didn't fit him. He looked… happy. John couldn't help but notice the joint of weed between Sherlock's fingers. The thought of him losing control because of a few puffs of cheap weed passed around at a party made him terribly sad.
When the slide show finished, there was a short period of darkness, then another video. It was Lestrade's face, close as though he was holding the camera.
"So now we get to see what happens to Sherlock Holmes when he's had a few too many."
Then, he turned the camera to Sherlock who was sitting at a table folding a napkin. He managed to make a pretty good hat and put it on his head.
"I always wanted to be a pirate." He slurred, swishing a butter knife from the table in the air. "Ever met a pirate, Lestrade?"
"Can't say I have. I don't think you'd make it as a pirate, though."
"Why not?"
"You can't hold your liquor well enough."
"That's what happens when you give me a suicide." (1)
Lestrade just laughed. Sherlock laughed, too. And that was where the tape shut off. And John noticed the door was open. With Sherlock standing there.
"I see you found the blackmail tape." He said calmly.
"Yeah. What was all that?"
"Lestrade compiled several different embarrassing records of me with the intent of using it to blackmail me into submission. I broke into his flat and stole it."
John shot him a look. "How did he get ahold of a home video from when you were little?"
"Apparently, it doesn't take enough paperwork to get a warrant. Let's just say that breaking into his flat was returning the favour in my mother's stead."
John stared for a moment, then broke into a fit of giggles. Sherlock seemed confused.
"What?"
"A pirate? Really, Sherlock?"
"Shut up!"
~Fin
(1) I don't know if the term is the same in the UK, but in the US, a suicide is when you just mix basically any alcoholic beverages you have into one drink. It's used for non-alcoholic drinks, too.
Summary: John's cleaning the flat. As always, there are interesting objects to be found.
A/N: A little bit of happier fluff to break up all the Reichenbach sadness for my lovely darling kaleigh_marie. Not related to Reichenbach at all, actually! :)
Rating: PG in case you die of laughter
Warnings: Fluff. Lots and lots of fluff.
John's cleaning the flat. As always, there are interesting objects to be found. This time around, he found an old tape that was labeled "Blackmail - Sherlock." As if that wasn't interesting enough, it was in Lestrade's handwriting.
Sherlock had gone to Bart's for some experimenting (on God knows what), so John figured it was harmless to look at. He put the tape in and let the grainy old film play while he dusted. It didn't take long for him to stop the auxiliary activity altogether.
There was a boy, no older than six, with a paper tricorn perched atop his dark curly hair. He was stuffing clothes into a bag, turned away from the camera. When he rose to go back to his dresser, John immediately recognized the grey-blue eyes.
"Sherlock," An amused woman's voice said, presumably from behind the camera. "What are you doing, darling?"
"I'm packing." The boy replied.
"What for?"
"I'm going to be a pirate!"
Another boy, much older, walked into the frame. "You can't be a pirate. That's a stupid thing to do."
"I'm going to be a pirate and you can't stop me, Mycroft!"
"Now, boys."
Mycroft turned to the camera. "Mummy, we can't just let him run off to the sea. If he manages to not get himself killed, he'll likely die of some horrible disease on a ship. Maybe even scurvy with how little he eats."
"Let him be. He'll change his mind soon enough."
The tape cut out for a moment, then came into a slide show. It looked like it was from Sherlock's days at uni. John thought it almost looked like Halloween - everyone was dressed up. There were a number of shots with Sherlock in his normal clothes, sitting in the background of photos. Then, one particularly jarring one showed him in a full-on pirate outfit that didn't fit him. He looked… happy. John couldn't help but notice the joint of weed between Sherlock's fingers. The thought of him losing control because of a few puffs of cheap weed passed around at a party made him terribly sad.
When the slide show finished, there was a short period of darkness, then another video. It was Lestrade's face, close as though he was holding the camera.
"So now we get to see what happens to Sherlock Holmes when he's had a few too many."
Then, he turned the camera to Sherlock who was sitting at a table folding a napkin. He managed to make a pretty good hat and put it on his head.
"I always wanted to be a pirate." He slurred, swishing a butter knife from the table in the air. "Ever met a pirate, Lestrade?"
"Can't say I have. I don't think you'd make it as a pirate, though."
"Why not?"
"You can't hold your liquor well enough."
"That's what happens when you give me a suicide." (1)
Lestrade just laughed. Sherlock laughed, too. And that was where the tape shut off. And John noticed the door was open. With Sherlock standing there.
"I see you found the blackmail tape." He said calmly.
"Yeah. What was all that?"
"Lestrade compiled several different embarrassing records of me with the intent of using it to blackmail me into submission. I broke into his flat and stole it."
John shot him a look. "How did he get ahold of a home video from when you were little?"
"Apparently, it doesn't take enough paperwork to get a warrant. Let's just say that breaking into his flat was returning the favour in my mother's stead."
John stared for a moment, then broke into a fit of giggles. Sherlock seemed confused.
"What?"
"A pirate? Really, Sherlock?"
"Shut up!"
~Fin
(1) I don't know if the term is the same in the UK, but in the US, a suicide is when you just mix basically any alcoholic beverages you have into one drink. It's used for non-alcoholic drinks, too.