overthinking/ underworking @ work!
Well, it seems it's been a while since I posted an entry here on LJ. This is probably because ever since the new year started, nothing has really changed in my life. I am still living at home, working at Childrens Hospital, and receiving rejection letters. I am lucky enough to have friends around me that I can escape and hang out with. It's funny, because in the past month or two, I have really been working at #2 on my new year's resolution list (reconnect/ stay connected with all my friends), and it's wonderful!!!!*
I am so grateful to have Preethi and Amy nearby to keep me sane =)
I am also very excited that my old college roommies are coming out on Saturday to have a reunion in LA! It has been a long time coming and I am PUMPED!
I am incredibly lucky to have friends down in SD that, while it is hard to find time and go visit, they all seem to try and make time for me when I do!
I'm also lucky to have reconnected with some old wrestling buddies, who are at least hilarious if not grotesquely inappropriate =P And I am happy that I got to celebrate PIE DAY with some old friends I haven't seen in over a year...
I still have a few buddies in LA and Agoura that I should catch up with...but all in all, I just feel sooo blessed to have these people in my life
OH, and of course, I have a boyfriend who loves me =D
So life should be wonderful if it weren't for that nagging feeling about the future...
I think I am getting incredibly worried about my future, not because I feel like I don't have one, but because I know that it will entail a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice. I know I should just lock myself in and study study study...that's probably what I should have done instead of distracting myself with other things like AB:India, school and friends the first time around. I literally have a little over 3 months to study (Feb, March, April) which is ample time if I really focus, but I am also looking at my schedule thinking when the eff am I going to study? Take for example, this weekend. Natacha and Christine will be coming up and hanging out with me on Fri night/all day Saturday (I am incredibly excited about this! haven't seen my roommies since graduation practically!), and that knocks out a whole day + dinner (prob). Last night, I had drinks/dinner with some old wrestling peeps (assistant coaches and alumni teammates)and they want me to join them for a "scavenger hunt" competition on Sat night. I said maybe...with the intention of pulling out mainly because I can't ditch my other friends and because my desire to go dancing in a fountain or teepee-ing a house is not that high...and I have a possible brunch to catch on Sunday with someone I dearly want to catch up with. I don't have time during the week to really sit down and study (me = brainddead after work) but I think I should, and then weekends should be focused on taking 5 hour practice tests. But then I look at my weekends... Chinese NY, Superbowl, Valentine's, NorCal for my cousin's new baby naming ceremony - mandatory!, and weekends are the only time I get with Adam and with some of my friends...
So there you have it.
On a completely off-topic(complaint) note, the coworker awkwardness has reached a level of utter indifference. We just don't talk. I guess I was lucky, though, that it got awkward AFTER I started making friends and getting lunch with the two girls here (so I don't spend my lunches alone, thank god!)But the job is becoming a drag. I'm starting to give it 75% instead of 95% of my energy, and I started wearing jeans....that's always how it starts, the descent into hating your job...wearing jeans to work...ayaya
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*but it's also very time consuming, and in a way, I am almost frightful that my desire to keep up with friends and to have fun and hang out will bite me in the ass again and I will choose to skimp on studying for my MCAT...sigh...*
I am so grateful to have Preethi and Amy nearby to keep me sane =)
I am also very excited that my old college roommies are coming out on Saturday to have a reunion in LA! It has been a long time coming and I am PUMPED!
I am incredibly lucky to have friends down in SD that, while it is hard to find time and go visit, they all seem to try and make time for me when I do!
I'm also lucky to have reconnected with some old wrestling buddies, who are at least hilarious if not grotesquely inappropriate =P And I am happy that I got to celebrate PIE DAY with some old friends I haven't seen in over a year...
I still have a few buddies in LA and Agoura that I should catch up with...but all in all, I just feel sooo blessed to have these people in my life
OH, and of course, I have a boyfriend who loves me =D
So life should be wonderful if it weren't for that nagging feeling about the future...
I think I am getting incredibly worried about my future, not because I feel like I don't have one, but because I know that it will entail a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice. I know I should just lock myself in and study study study...that's probably what I should have done instead of distracting myself with other things like AB:India, school and friends the first time around. I literally have a little over 3 months to study (Feb, March, April) which is ample time if I really focus, but I am also looking at my schedule thinking when the eff am I going to study? Take for example, this weekend. Natacha and Christine will be coming up and hanging out with me on Fri night/all day Saturday (I am incredibly excited about this! haven't seen my roommies since graduation practically!), and that knocks out a whole day + dinner (prob). Last night, I had drinks/dinner with some old wrestling peeps (assistant coaches and alumni teammates)and they want me to join them for a "scavenger hunt" competition on Sat night. I said maybe...with the intention of pulling out mainly because I can't ditch my other friends and because my desire to go dancing in a fountain or teepee-ing a house is not that high...and I have a possible brunch to catch on Sunday with someone I dearly want to catch up with. I don't have time during the week to really sit down and study (me = brainddead after work) but I think I should, and then weekends should be focused on taking 5 hour practice tests. But then I look at my weekends... Chinese NY, Superbowl, Valentine's, NorCal for my cousin's new baby naming ceremony - mandatory!, and weekends are the only time I get with Adam and with some of my friends...
So there you have it.
On a completely off-topic(complaint) note, the coworker awkwardness has reached a level of utter indifference. We just don't talk. I guess I was lucky, though, that it got awkward AFTER I started making friends and getting lunch with the two girls here (so I don't spend my lunches alone, thank god!)But the job is becoming a drag. I'm starting to give it 75% instead of 95% of my energy, and I started wearing jeans....that's always how it starts, the descent into hating your job...wearing jeans to work...ayaya
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*but it's also very time consuming, and in a way, I am almost frightful that my desire to keep up with friends and to have fun and hang out will bite me in the ass again and I will choose to skimp on studying for my MCAT...sigh...*