Why I've been gone/Life problems/Hopeful for future!
Like I said I was gonna make this a cut in my SSS thing but it got too long so I'm just gonna post it on here since... well blogging is what they actually made this website for at some point, right? haha.
Essentially this year has just been crazy for me and as much as I really love doing SSS and collecting, I haven’t been able to really keep up with things for a lot of personal reasons, so I've pretty much stopped collecting for the moment and probably won't be able to do SSS for the foreseeable future which upsets me since I really like shopping for people and giving gifts and stuff. Basically from January this year to about June I had several major things happen in my life and I don't know if others out there can relate to any of this (at least some of the collector stuff) but it was really just very overwhelming. My sister was diagnosed with cancer (she is now in remission since about July, thankfully), my cat died of cancer who I had had for about 7 years, I lost health insurance for me and my daughter (I live in the USA so this is like... an annoyingly big deal where you have to fill out all these forms and can get in trouble for your kid not having insurance blah blah blah). So basically I had to sign up for Medicaid. Well, unknown to me, but the state will just throw money at kids who need health insurance because they're kids. But me? Aahahahah, no. So the state opened up a child support/custody case with my daughter's dad (who I have no contact with whatsoever). Cue me running around town desperately trying to find a lawyer. I know I sound like every other single mom out there that people think are terrible but my daughter's dad is really not a good person. Like at all. Like so much so that I dated this man for 4 years and come to find out that every single aspect about his life that he told me was literally a lie... This breakup actually directly proceeded my Pokémon collecting (this happen to anyone else? like something bad or stressful and its like, nope not gonna do this, nostalgia/collecting time! no? just me?).
In the middle of all this, right as we got Medicaid confirmed, my daughter had to get a second surgery on her ears and to remove her adenoids. She previously had ear tubes that fell out and stopped working so this is the next solution and I'm still praying we don't have to go for round three. So 2018 basically started out extremely terribly for me and I was dealing with just a stupid amount of stuff which is why all of this SSS and community stuff just kept getting pushed back into the "do it later" folder in my mind (which runs out of space pretty fast and then just starts deleting stuff. again, anyone else?)
Finally at the beginning of summer is when things started happening that were positive. I graduated from Esthetician school (yeah college is just not for me. took me about 10 years to figure that one out) and passed my tests and got licensed in June/July. Since then, my life has pretty much been dealing with debt (from medical, collecting, gaming, all kinds of stuff) and trying to find a new place to live with my bf. Which is where I'm at now. I also had a bunch of mental health stuff mixed in with all this that I don't really know if anyone cares to hear about but the long and short of it is that my PTSD decided that I wasn't dealing with it appropriately, so I developed panic disorder and couldn't function for about 2.5 months until I was able to get on medication that keeps the panic attacks from destroying my life.
So yeah I'm sure a lot of this can be looked at as "girl you got a lot of excuses, don't you?" but tbh 1) it's my life and these are real problems that really affected me very negatively and are still impacting me today
2) this is why I am stopping/slowing down collecting and not participating in any more swaps both on pkmncollectors or elsewhere for the moment.
3) maybe no one is thinking this and i'm paranoid
4) if you are thinking this, you're entitled to your opinion as am i
So yeah for anyone interested in any of this, this is what's been going on and my life is still going down the crazy tube. Slowly improving but still. My question for anyone who does bother to read this is do any of you guys struggle with mental health problems? Do you think that it contributes to wanting to collect things? Even before I started collecting Pokémon I have collected stuff for like... ever. Not hoarding anything, just collecting stuff I found myself attracted to. So I'm a little interested on perspectives on that. Anyways thanks for reading and maybe you'll see me around here, at least casually for the next little bit.
Essentially this year has just been crazy for me and as much as I really love doing SSS and collecting, I haven’t been able to really keep up with things for a lot of personal reasons, so I've pretty much stopped collecting for the moment and probably won't be able to do SSS for the foreseeable future which upsets me since I really like shopping for people and giving gifts and stuff. Basically from January this year to about June I had several major things happen in my life and I don't know if others out there can relate to any of this (at least some of the collector stuff) but it was really just very overwhelming. My sister was diagnosed with cancer (she is now in remission since about July, thankfully), my cat died of cancer who I had had for about 7 years, I lost health insurance for me and my daughter (I live in the USA so this is like... an annoyingly big deal where you have to fill out all these forms and can get in trouble for your kid not having insurance blah blah blah). So basically I had to sign up for Medicaid. Well, unknown to me, but the state will just throw money at kids who need health insurance because they're kids. But me? Aahahahah, no. So the state opened up a child support/custody case with my daughter's dad (who I have no contact with whatsoever). Cue me running around town desperately trying to find a lawyer. I know I sound like every other single mom out there that people think are terrible but my daughter's dad is really not a good person. Like at all. Like so much so that I dated this man for 4 years and come to find out that every single aspect about his life that he told me was literally a lie... This breakup actually directly proceeded my Pokémon collecting (this happen to anyone else? like something bad or stressful and its like, nope not gonna do this, nostalgia/collecting time! no? just me?).
In the middle of all this, right as we got Medicaid confirmed, my daughter had to get a second surgery on her ears and to remove her adenoids. She previously had ear tubes that fell out and stopped working so this is the next solution and I'm still praying we don't have to go for round three. So 2018 basically started out extremely terribly for me and I was dealing with just a stupid amount of stuff which is why all of this SSS and community stuff just kept getting pushed back into the "do it later" folder in my mind (which runs out of space pretty fast and then just starts deleting stuff. again, anyone else?)
Finally at the beginning of summer is when things started happening that were positive. I graduated from Esthetician school (yeah college is just not for me. took me about 10 years to figure that one out) and passed my tests and got licensed in June/July. Since then, my life has pretty much been dealing with debt (from medical, collecting, gaming, all kinds of stuff) and trying to find a new place to live with my bf. Which is where I'm at now. I also had a bunch of mental health stuff mixed in with all this that I don't really know if anyone cares to hear about but the long and short of it is that my PTSD decided that I wasn't dealing with it appropriately, so I developed panic disorder and couldn't function for about 2.5 months until I was able to get on medication that keeps the panic attacks from destroying my life.
So yeah I'm sure a lot of this can be looked at as "girl you got a lot of excuses, don't you?" but tbh 1) it's my life and these are real problems that really affected me very negatively and are still impacting me today
2) this is why I am stopping/slowing down collecting and not participating in any more swaps both on pkmncollectors or elsewhere for the moment.
3) maybe no one is thinking this and i'm paranoid
4) if you are thinking this, you're entitled to your opinion as am i
So yeah for anyone interested in any of this, this is what's been going on and my life is still going down the crazy tube. Slowly improving but still. My question for anyone who does bother to read this is do any of you guys struggle with mental health problems? Do you think that it contributes to wanting to collect things? Even before I started collecting Pokémon I have collected stuff for like... ever. Not hoarding anything, just collecting stuff I found myself attracted to. So I'm a little interested on perspectives on that. Anyways thanks for reading and maybe you'll see me around here, at least casually for the next little bit.