I don't know how much time has passed.... but I know it feels like forever.
"I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like I'm sitting all alone inside your head"
- I am so effing in love with Corey Taylor... he is way too hot!
Do you find it likely to think time goes by too fast? Honestly think about it your living you life, living through both the bliss and the shit it gives you, and then BAM! Before you know it, a part of your life is over. No one wants to be the loser who tries to go back and live vicariously through their memories of a time. Take for instance, being with someone, someone you love and ideally would want to spend the rest of your life. Honestly, THE IDEAL FUCKING PERSON! The only bad qualities you can dig up arent even bad qualities; in all actuality, they are morally wonderful qualities to possess. So anyway even though you are with this ideal person, is it okay, acceptable to wonder what life would be like without them. Like what other people you would attract, who you could be dating, what you would be doing with your life!?! I know, I am probably more confusing than is feasible, but is it possible to meet someone too soon. Is everything really happening for a reason? You know how they always say that with every relationship you are supposed to do better than the one preceding. What if you find a guy who you know there is no better? Is that a point of realization of a commitment, a love? Or is that a point of realization of settlement? I dont think that anyone should settle for less than they deserve and I dont mean that this ideal person is anything less. Its just weird being in a relationship with someone you know you wouldnt WANT to be without, but going to parties and noticing that you could if need be. Strange thing is that, at all these parties and outings, I sit there a talk about my boyfriend for at least half an hour. Take for instance, last night, met this guy, a friend of a friends, and we were sitting there talking about music galore and movies and etc I start to mention my boyfriend and his infatuation with movies and explaining how my boyfriend could kick this guys ass in entertainment knowledge. Then we get on the subject of me having a man and him never dating! Like seriously, this kid doesnt date. So I figure, awesome this guy likes what I do, and doesnt date! Sweet so he definitely could be a friend and never look at me that way. I don't even know what I am trying to portray right now... except that if I wasn't with someone... this would have probably been the type of guy I would have talked to... but now, I guess, it was more along the lines that I knew he wouldn't try anything, or hit on me that I felt comfortable talking to him. Anyway... all in all... I am tired of partying this much but it was good to do because I see that, even though other guys still definately hit on me and all... I don't care and I sit there and talk about my boyfriend the whole time. Simply out... Meeting these other people and such has lead me to finally realize... to assure myself that I am happy where I am. Good luck understanding me.
Oh well I am dying my hair blonde right now. Just wait until you read those blogs you will really not understand. Muwahhahaa as long as I make sense and my head.
Oh and get this! Last night, an ex of mine and I were sitting outside talking for nearly and hour about relationship advice. Strange, but he was giving me advice about my present relationship and asking questions about it all. Then after explaining how he screwed up and still cared for me he said that this guy I with sounds really great. Although it was strange, it was pleasantly nice. Weird, but comforting. So apparently I truly have snatched up a guy that is ideal, especially if my ex thinks so.
My hair isnt quite BLONDE yet oh my more like orange. Well, I guess I knew that would happen.
Muwahhaha. Nah, it is blonde now. A cool looking blonde too with my brown streaks and then parts that are a bright bleached blonde. Woot, Woot. Now I can officially play dumb. Haha.