Ice [1/?]
So we never really understood why we are the way we are but we really tried to live with it. The days we were together I could see you glowing, you would smile and it would light up the entire room. When we were surrounded by others it still felt like we were the only ones in the room. You would signal me with your faint facial expressions and I knew. I knew exactly what you were thinking. I read your mind and you read mine and we never felt invaded by eachother. I was sure that your heart was beating in sync with mine. It was like you were me and I was you but different because you made me better. You made me stronger than I ever was. You keep me together when I felt like I was falling apart. But not now....oh Patrick not now.
When you left me, I fell apart. Patrick you were the glue and you just ran away. I can't breath without you here, why'd you leave me? I can't fend for myself, I can barely move. The day you left, you took me with you. I'm no longer Pete. I'm just the shell he once inhabited. My mom thinks I'm clinically depressed. She might be right. I dropped out of school and I don't leave my room. I don't sleep. I've tried but Patrick I close my eyes and all I see is that day. The day you left me. I wake up screaming and crying. My lips bleeds from bitting so hard, trying to mask my screams by bitting my mouth closed. My mom doesn't sleep either...because she's scared I'll kill myself while she sleeps. I don't blame her.
Patrick, why did that day have to happen? Everything was perfect. Why'd you have to leave me?
*****
"Pete, I'm taking you to the doctor's today. I can't live like this. We need to find out why you're having these dreams." My mother was serious this time. Last time it was a threat but today...I could see the tears build up in her eyes. She was ready to crack.
"What are they going to do to me?" I pulled my pants on, preparing to go without a fight. I would go without even a scream, for my mom. I hated seeing her like this but there was nothing I could do...expect go willingly.
"They're going to monitor your sleeping. So they can see if there's something wrong with your brain or mental health. If there is, we might be able to fond something to help you...so that you can sleep and so that I can sleep without fear." She zipped up her coat as I through on a sweater.
"Mom, you know why I have these dreams." I looked up at her in all seriousness.
"I know, Peter. I just don't know what to do anymore. You know he can't come back." A tear trailed down her cheek. She held her breath for a second and kissed my cheek. "Peter...we need to at least try this, okay? Do this for me."
"I'll do it, mom. I just don't think they can help me." I locked the door as she was whipping the tears from her eyes.
I loved her so. I would do this for her, just to make her happy...even for a moment because my mom is all I have.