I'm stuck in the dark (but you're my flashlight)
Title: I'm stuck in the dark (but you're my flashlight)
Pairings: taekook, side namjin & yoonmin
Rating: R
Genre: zombie apocalypse AU, drama, angst, a little romance and fluff?
Warnings: violence, blood, gore
Summary: It still baffles him, how Taehyung can smile like the sun shines out of his ass when the world is falling apart aroud them, but he cherishes every glimpse he gets of it.
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A/N: I've been wanting to write a zombie apocalypse AU for a while, and I've read so many recently, so it kind of got me in the mood to write one. Bless all the zombie apocalypse fanfiction out there, I never get tired of it lol This is my first BTS fic so please excuse any weird characterization. Also I wrote this at like 3am last night and it was supposed to just be a oneshot but it's probably going to turn into a series of oneshots in this AU because I got more and more obsessed and attached as I wrote /sighs/. So yeah, please comment if you want more I guess? Also, yes, I did name this after a cheesy lyric from a song in Pitch Perfect. I fail at titles, okay?
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“Peaches?”
Jeongguk turns to see said fruit dangling from a plastic fork about 2 inches from his face. Taehyung is grinning at him like it’s the greatest present he could give him. And he supposes that it kind of is, in this shitty world that they’re stuck in. They peaches are just crappy canned peaches, but they still taste like heaven on Jeongguk’s tongue when Taehyung feeds it to him. After eating beans and cold, uncooked raviolis from a can for three days straight, it’s a nice change. Taehyung knows how much he loves peaches, so he suspects that the older boy snagged them from the last grocery store they raided and kept them hidden in his bag the entire time, because he hadn’t seen any of the others eat them.
“Good?”
Jeongguk nods and Taehyung gives him one of those sunshine smiles that still causes his heart to speed up, even to this day. He’s beautiful and bright, and Jeongguk falls all over again. He does every time Taehyung smiles. It still baffles him, how Taehyung can smile like the sun shines out of his ass when the world is falling apart around them, but he cherishes every glimpse he gets of it.
Taehyung places the open can of peaches in his lap, with the plastic fork inside of it. Taehyung must have eaten a few bites, but it isn’t even half empty, so he knows the older boy saved most of it for him, and he feels a wave of gratitude at the thought.
“Hey! You’re not going to share?”
Jimin glances at them from where he’s seated right next to Jeongguk, who is squashed in the middle of both him and Taehyung in the very back of the SUV. His lips are in a slight pout as he eyes the peaches.
“Nope! Sorry Jiminie, I got these just for Kookie.”
“No fair,” Jimin whines, wriggling in his seat. Jeongguk has to fight the urge to laugh.
“Just get some at the next store,” Yoongi says from one of the middle seats. “We’re almost there.” Hoseok is in the seat next to him, loading his gun. Namjoon is driving, as he always does, with Seokjin in the front seat. They’re murmuring quietly to each other, ignoring the pointless discussion going on in the back.
It’s a familiar sight, one that Jeongguk had grown accustomed to in the past few years. They had all somehow come together to form this ragtag group of kids who had no one else left in the world after the outbreak. Namjoon and Hoseok are brothers, and they had both known Seokjin for years before the outbreak. Namjoon, Seokjin and Hoseok had found Jeongguk in his house when they stopped to look for food. He had been hiding in the hallway closet for days, clutching the knife he had used to kill his own mother after she had attacked him in a haze of bloodlust. They found Jimin and Taehyung after that, stuck inside their high school, both of them almost starved to death. Yoongi was the last to join them, and he had done so with some reluctance. He preferred to distance himself and didn’t see the benefit of joining their little group. It wasn’t until Jimin had saved his life by chopping off the head of zombie that had been 3 inches away from ripping out his throat that he decided to join them. He had stuck to Jimin’s side ever since, even if he didn’t like to admit it.
Jeongguk, silent and frightened and traumatized, had kept his distance from most of them. He remembers hardly speaking a word to any of them. Until Taehyung came along. Taehyung who, even on the verge of death, smiled so brightly when they found him, who begged them to help Jimin because he just wanted his best friend to live, who pestered Jeongguk until he finally spoke his name. At first it was annoying, Taehyung’s bright nature and his ability to ramble on for hours about the strangest things. But Jeongguk soon grew fond of him, and reveled in Taehyung’s positivity, mostly because he had none himself. He only saw darkness at the end of this road for them, but Taehyung had become the flicker of light in that darkness.
Jeongguk picks up the can in his lap, and takes slow bites, savoring the sweet taste of the fruit. He feels Taehyung’s hand on his thigh, his touch gentle and reassuring, a comforting gesture that helps to settle Jeongguk’s nerves. Taehyung’s hair tickles his cheek as the older boy leans his head on his shoulder.
Taehyung had been clingy from the beginning, but Jeongguk doesn’t mind. It keeps him grounded, especially when he gets lost in his own morbid thoughts. And he may have grown to enjoy the affection…just a little.
He’s always nervous before they raid stores, and while he is an expert at hiding it, Taehyung catches on quickly, and always knows exactly what to do for him. The group relies on him a lot, as he’s a natural with almost any weapon and he’s fast and efficient. He’s probably the best against the zombies, aside from Hoseok. He likes that he can protect them, but it puts a lot of pressure on him.
But this raid is supposed to be easy. They have everything they need within the same block, and they’ll most likely be in and out without any problems. They need ammo and more weapons, so they have to hope that the large shopping mall will contain something useful. The grocery store is just down the street from that, and there’s a gas station on the corner. They would be able to get everything they needed in one go.
They stop at the gas station first, and Namjoon and Seokjin both step out first to check for any zombies lurking near them. They tap on the windows when it’s safe to come out.
“Jeongguk, Taehyung, you’re with Hoseok,” Namjoon reminds them. “Find a map first, and if you see any stores that might have what we need, go for it. If not, get the hell out of there.” Hoseok is the weapon expert, having learned all about them from hunting with his father at a young age, and Jeongguk and Taehyung are both quick on their feet and can cover a lot of ground without getting tired.
“Seokjin, Yoongi, stay here and fill up the car. Stock up on any food you find inside. Jimin and I will go-”
“I’ll go with Jimin,” Yoongi announces, stepping away from Namjoon and shifting closer to Jimin, until they’re shoulder to shoulder. He gives Namjoon a glare that dares him to challenge his decision, but Jeongguk can see by Namjoon’s expression that he already knows there is no changing Yoongi’s mind. Namjoon gives in with a sigh, “Fine, Yoongi goes with Jimin to the grocery store, while Seokjin and I stay here and fill up the car. Are we clear?”
They all nod, and Jeongguk takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. It’s always a risk doing this, no matter how much they have done it before. He glances to Taehyung who stands next to him, bouncing on the balls of his feet, full of too much energy to stay still. He isn’t smiling, but his eyes are bright and alert. When he notices Jeongguk staring, he turns to look at him, and his lips stretch into another grin. “Ready, Kookie-ah?”
The corner of Jeongguk’s lips twitch into what can be called a smile, but in comparison to Taehyung’s, it feels weak. “Yeah.”
“Don’t be nervous,” Taehyung closes the distance between them and places a quick kiss on his lips. It’s soft and fleeting, but it leaves Jeongguk feeling like he is floating on cloud nine, instead of standing at an old gas station in the middle of a zombie-infested world.
The others aren’t paying them much attention, but he still feels his cheeks grow warm from embarrassment. It isn’t as if what he and Taehyung have is a secret, but he is still very shy when it comes to the affection Taehyung shows when they are around.
“Be safe,” Seokjin says, coming around to ruffle their hair or pat their cheeks. Taehyung grins even wider and leans into Seokjin’s touch like a cat seeking affection. Jeongguk nods and lets Seokjin make a mess out of his already ratted hair.
They set off with Hoseok leading them. Jeongguk watches Yoongi and Jimin take off down the street to the grocery store, their pace slow and steady, and their footsteps quiet.
He matches his pace with Taehyung’s and watches Hoseok’s back as he jogs right in front of them. Hoseok can be almost as talkative and ridiculously bright as Taehyung at times, but he is always very focused when they do things like this. Jeongguk trusts his abilities more than anyone else’s.
He feels Taehyung’s hand slip into his own as they make their way across the mall parking lot. “I hope Jiminie finds chocolate at the store.”
“Even if he does, he might not share with you after you were so stingy with those peaches,” Jeongguk teases.
“Those were yours!” Taehyung insists. “Jimin loves me too much. I’ll just pester him for a while and he’ll give in. He always does,” and Jeongguk knows it’s true, because he’s seen it happen dozens of times.
Jeongguk still feels nervous when they step into the mall, but Taehyung’s smile gives him strength and the feeling of Taehyung’s hand linked with his own is comforting.
________________
Luck is on their side.
A map of the mall isn’t far from the front door and they find that a store on the third floor should have everything they need.
The mall is silent, no sounds indicating that there are zombies anywhere near them. The escalators are littered with dead bodies, and since taking a closed in stairwell could be a bad idea if a zombie closes in on them there, they take a shot at the elevators. Miraculously, the elevators are still working. They are cautious when the doors open, but find no zombies waiting for them inside. As the elevator carries them up to the third floor, they ready their weapons, guns held up and aimed for the sliding doors. They all have knives stowed away in various places too, just in case. Jeongguk and Hoseok aren’t very good with close range weapons, but Taehyung is a pro with a dagger, or even a small kitchen knife. Jeongguk knows Taehyung doesn’t like using guns, but he uses them when he has to.
There isn’t anything waiting for them when the elevator doors slide open on the third floor, and Jeongguk loosens his grip on his gun just a bit. They’re quiet and quick as they make their way to their destination. He and Taehyung watch Hoseok’s back as the older boy gathers whatever weapons and ammo that they can manage to carry out. Hoseok fills two bags with lightning speed and he and Taehyung take them without question. It’s smarter to have Hoseok cover them, as he has the best aim.
Taehyung gives him another grin as they make their way back to the elevator, and he manages to smile back, a sense of relief washing over him. Eager to get out and meet back up with the others, his footsteps quicken and the elevator is soon in his line of vision.
“Wait,” Jeongguk comes to a halt as soon as he hears Taehyung’s whispered command. Hoseok is in front of them now, gun still held up and ready to aim, and Taehyung has fallen behind a bit. “Do you hear that?” Jeongguk turns to face him, and watches his expression as he struggles to catch the sound of whatever he heard.
“Wha-”
The word isn’t even out of Jeongguk’s mouth before he hears it too. Footsteps, groaning, low growls-
“Go!” Hoseok commands.
Jeongguk catches sight of the crowd of zombies just before he turns around to run. They’ve already given themselves away, so Hoseok doesn’t bother with stealth, and starts shooting at any zombie he sees. But they start to come from all sides, trapping them in and cornering them like small prey. They aren’t going to make it to the elevator before the zombies reach them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t fight them off. Jeongguk aims with his free hand and shoots into the crowds of zombies. There are dozens of them, more than he can count, and he feels a spike of fear.
“Forget the weapons! Drop them! Come on!”
Jeongguk hates doing it, because it makes their fight feel like it’s not even worth it, but he drops the bag of weapons to the floor, and he hears Taehyung drop his too.
All Jeongguk can hear is their heavy footsteps on the ground as they run, the growls of the zombies that are closing in on them, the sound of their guns going off. He smells the blood and the image of his mother flashes before his eyes, her mouth covered in the blood of his older sister, her eyes glossy and blank as she bounds over to him snarling. This can’t be happening- not now- not when he has to fight- not when-
“Jeongguk!” Taehyung’s voice breaks him out of his flashback, and a second later, he feels Taehyung’s knife zip past his ear and land right in the eye of a zombie that had been going for his throat.
He acts quickly and grabs Taehyung’s hand, pulling the older boy forward. He’s out of bullets and he doesn’t see Taehyung’s gun in his hand anymore, so he assumes Taehyung dropped it. They can only rely on their speed, and Hoseok’s remaining ammo.
His heart pounds loudly in his ears, and he holds Taehyung’s hand in a vice grip. They’re almost there- so close- the zombies are closing in, he can hear them and see them all around, but they’re almost-
“Ah!”
Taehyung’s hand slips out of his, and he whips around to see Taehyung on the floor, zombies grabbing at his legs and dragging him back. His heart lurches and he doesn’t hesitate to reach out for Taehyung and throw himself to the ground as he struggles to shorten the distance between them. They latch onto each other’s hands and Jeongguk pulls- he uses every bit of strength he has, every ounce of his willpower-
Taehyung is staring at him, eyes blown wide with fear, for himself- for Jeongguk- all of them. Jeongguk feels a hand on his ankle and screams on instinct, but when he glances back, he sees that it’s Hoseok. The older boy is in the elevator, his gun - now out of ammo - thrown to the side, and both of his hands latched onto Jeongguk’s ankle as he tries to pull them both in.
“Keep a hold on him, Jeongguk! I’ll pull you guys in!”
“I am!” Jeongguk sobs. “I am!” His arms are aching from the strain of pulling, but he doesn’t care, because Taehyung is- Taehyung is being pulled away, his hand is slipping-
Jeongguk tightens his grip again, holding onto Taehyung’s wrist for dear life, and he knows that there are zombies surrounding him too- he can feel them reaching for him, their fingers brushing against his clothes before Hoseok attempts to fight them off.
“Kookie-” Taehyung’s eyes dart from left to right, taking in their surroundings- assessing the situation- seeing the zombies that are closing in on Jeongguk- and then he looks back at Jeongguk and Jeongguk feels like he might scream again. The fear in Taehyung’s eyes is replaced by resolve, and there’s guilt there too, Jeongguk can see it. Taehyung has made a decision, and Jeongguk know it’s stupid and reckless and he’s not going to let him- “I’m sorry.” There are tears in his eyes, and Jeongguk wants to believe that it’s just from the fear.
“No, Taehyung, no, don’t-”
But Taehyung loosens his grip completely, and without Taehyung holding on, Jeongguk’s grip on Taehyung’s wrist is slipping. “No! Tae, please! Grab on! Do it, now!”
“Go!” Taehyung screams, tears spilling over as he pulls his wrist from Jeongguk’s grips.
Jeongguk is immediately pulled back and he crashes into Hoseok as he lands inside the elevator. His head slams into the wall and he’s momentarily disoriented. He’s dizzy but he scrambles to sit up just as the doors are closing. There’s panic clawing at his chest and up his throat, and he released it in a frustrated scream.
He sees Taehyung being dragged around the corner just as the doors close.
“NO!” He crawls his way over, a mess of limbs, and bangs on the elevator doors, “No! No! Taehyung! Open the doors, Hoseok! Open them now!”
He feels arms around his middle but he doesn’t stop banging on the doors. The sight of Taehyung’s face is fresh in his mind, frightened tear-filled eyes and dirt-covered cheeks. “We have to go back! Hyung, we have to go back!”
He reaches over with trembling hands to press the button for the third floor, but Hoseok stops him. “What are you doing!?” He snarls, turning around to glare at the older boy as he pulls his hands away from the button.
Hoseok’s face is streaked with tears, but Jeongguk can’t bring himself to care because Taehyung- Taehyung-
“Jeongguk, there are too many, and- and we have no weapons. There are too many- we can’t-”
“Yes, we can!” Jeongguk screams, ripping his hands away from Hoseok to bang on the doors again. “We have to! It’s Taehyung! We have to go back!”
Jeongguk doesn’t remember much after that. He remembers screaming. He remembers fighting and struggling as Hoseok carries him out of the mall and runs across the parking lot. He’s in a haze of desperation and anger and shock and he can hardly see anything in front of him. He can only see Taehyung’s face- Taehyung’s eyes just before the zombies dragged him away, Taehyung’s boxy grin that Jeongguk got to see just moments before everything went to hell.
There are tears clouding his vision and there’s blood rushing in his ears- He hears voices, sees flashes of Seokjin and Namjoon’s worried and frightened faces- but he’s too gone to know what’s even happening.
“He’s bleeding-”
“I think he has a concussion.”
“He won’t stop-”
“Put him in the car.”
Hoseok locks him in the car as he explains the situation to the rest of them, and by then, Jeongguk is too exhausted to do much more than bang his hand weakly against the window. His own sobbing is painfully loud in the car, drowning out the others’ muffled voices.
He has to go back…Taehyung is still there…He’s still there and Jeongguk left him…
He has to go back.
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Nothing is the same when Jeongguk wakes up.
They’re back at their hiding place- a hotel they had been staying in for a few weeks, until they decided they needed to move on- but Taehyung isn’t there and nothing is right.
Jimin cries. He cries and cries and cries and all Jeongguk hears is the sound of Jimin crying and Taehyung’s voice saying “Kookie, I’m sorry,” over and over in his head.
Yoongi is angry- he’s furious. He paces around the room, muttering to himself, and sharpening his knives in attempt to keep himself busy. Namjoon and Seokjin try to keep it together for the rest of them, but Jeongguk catches them crying - together, wrapped in each other’s arms - when they think he’s sleeping. Hoseok does everything he possibly can. He flits around the room, trying to make sure everyone is eating, everyone is healthy, everyone is okay- He knows Hoseok feels guilty. He feels guilty about not being able to do more, about not going back, about everything.
And Jeongguk-
Jeongguk hasn’t spoken a word since he woke up. He can’t speak, he can’t get the words out. He takes Taehyung’s favorite t-shirt and holds it as he sits by the window, as though clutching it too him will somehow make him feel like Taehyung is there. He doesn’t sleep because all he sees when he closes his eyes is Taehyung- Taehyung suffering a slow, torturous death- Taehyung covered in blood and torn apart as the zombies feed on him-
Jeongguk makes himself sick with these images, but when he heaves into the trash can by his chair, there’s nothing in him to throw up.
He still feels like he’s in denial. None of it feels real. It all feels like some fucked up dream, and he hopes he’ll wake soon, so he can hold Taehyung in his arms, and hear Taehyung’s stupid giggle in his ear, and see Taehyung’s goofy smile.
“Jeongguk?”
He is brought back to reality at the sound of his name, and he looks over to see Jimin standing next to his chair, his eyes red and swollen and his lips pulled into a frown. “We- We have to go soon. Yoongi, Seokjin, and Namjoon all went to see if they can find any more food in the hotel. We’re leaving in a few hours.”
Their plan had been to leave a day after they got what they needed from the mall and the grocery store. They’d already been staying in this town for weeks, and the supplies were running low. It was time to move on.
How many days had it been since they raided the mall? Two? Three? Jeongguk isn’t even sure. Everything blurred together.
Jeongguk says nothing, the words still get stuck in his throat. He just stares at the floor and shakes his head, as the panic begins to build.
‘We can’t- We can’t leave him- He’s still there! We have to go back!’
Jimin kneels down in front of him and takes both of his hands. “I know, okay? I know,” Jimin is crying again, crying for Jeongguk because Jeongguk hasn’t squeezed out a single tear since Taehyung was dragged away. He can’t cry. Crying means accepting that Taehyung is really gone. And he can’t do that. “I don’t want to leave either. Not when Tae-” Jimin chokes on Taehyung’s name and more tears spill down his cheeks. He doesn’t finish what he was saying, he just pulls Jeongguk into a hug, and cries on his shoulder. Jeongguk is limp and still in his arms.
Without Taehyung, without the only light he had in this dark world, he feels empty. There’s pain- an ache in his chest that won’t go away- but then, only emptiness.
He knows that Jimin is hurting just as much as he is. Taehyung is his best friend. They were best friends even before the outbreak, they were practically brothers. He feels like he should return Jimin’s embrace, but he doesn’t.
Taehyung was important to all of them. He was theirs- their family, their brother. But he was Jeongguk’s in a different way. The smile Taehyung gave him when they were alone belongs to only him, the secrets Taehyung shared with him are his, the freckle on Taehyung’s stomach that Jeongguk kissed every time they made love is his, the feeling of Taehyung’s warm breath on his neck as he slept is his.
Jimin pulls away, pats his hair, and makes his way to the bed so he can cry alone under the covers. Jeongguk is grateful that he doesn’t try to tell him that everything will be okay.
He is left to his own thoughts again, and he feels like he might suffocate under all of them. He doesn’t know what to do, because he can’t leave the others, but he can’t leave Taehyung- he can’t-
JJeongguk doesn’t even notice the commotion outside until Hoseok is standing up, ripping open the door, and calling for Jimin. “- a hoard of them! The other three are holding them off but they’re getting closer. Come on!”
Hoseok doesn’t bother to call for him, doesn’t ask him to fight, because he’d probably be useless in his current state.
But as soon as he glances out the window and sees Seokjin, Namjoon, and Yoongi fighting off a crowd of zombies, he feels a flare of rage. He sees the image of Taehyung being dragged away by those monsters, and all he wants to do is rip every single one of them apart. Hoseok and Jimin have already run outside and joined in the fight, so Jeongguk is alone with his rage.
He stumbles out of the chair and over to Hoseok’s bag, where he knows Hoseok keeps more weapons hidden, just in case. He pulls out the first two guns he gets his hands on and tears out the door.
He aims and shoots, over and over. He sees the others throwing shocked glances his way, but he doesn’t answer them when they ask what the hell he’s doing.
His common sense is clouded by anger, but he isn’t stupid. The monsters are all he sees and that’s where he aims. The others won’t get in his way. When he runs out of bullets, he charges at the rest of the monsters, screaming and bashes their skulls with the butt of the guns.
With all of them fighting, and Jeongguk on his crazed rampage, they kill all the zombies fairly quickly. The others are all a little further behind than Jeongguk, their weapons lowered and their breathing short and labored. Jeongguk kicks the last monster to the ground and smashes its head in with his gun. He feel the crunch of its skull as it crack, and its blood splatters on his face. It is all strangely satisfying, but it doesn’t fill the gaping emptiness that is still inside of him. He screams in frustration, and keeps smashing his gun into the monster’s skull even after it stops moving.
“Jeongguk!”
“Jeongguk, watch out!”
The gun is knocked out of his hand when he is tackled to the ground. He lands on his back, with a zombie right on top of him, snarling and growling as it bears it’s rotten, blood-covered teeth. He hears footsteps, everyone screaming his name, but he knows the others won’t reach him in time. It’s already going for his throat.
It feels as though time slows, and in those last few seconds, Jeongguk’s mind is going in all different directions.
As he looks up at the monster above him, he wonders if Taehyung is already dead, or if he’s been turned into one if these things. He hopes it isn’t the latter. Because Jeongguk knows he is dead either way. If he turns, one of the others will kill him. He hopes it isn’t Hoseok or Jimin, they’ve been through enough.
So he’d rather Taehyung be dead, than turned into one of these. At least Jeongguk would be able to join him this way, in whatever place they end up once they die. Jeongguk doesn’t really care what’s waiting for him after death, as long as Taehyung is there.
He’s okay with it ending like this, because he really couldn’t imagine leaving this town without Taehyung.
He closes his eyes and expects to feel pain, but it doesn’t come. The zombie is growling in his ear, and he can feel it dripping blood and spit on his neck, but then- then the weight on top of him is gone.
When he opens his eyes again, he can’t stop the sob that rips from his throat. “Taehyung,” he cries, voice raspy and weak.
Taehyung’s face is hovering above him, dirty and bloody and beautiful. This has to be heaven- his own personal heaven.
“Kookie, are you okay!? Did it bite you!?”
He really thought he’d never hear Taehyung’s deep, deep voice again, but there it is, calling his name- that stupid, wonderful nickname that Taehyung loves so much.
Taehyung’s hands are on his shoulders and wiping the blood from his neck, and it seems surreal to feel Taehyung’s touch again, when the last time he had felt it was right before Taehyung was ripped away from him.
And then he hears other voices and he’s confused.
“Oh my god-”
“Tae-”
“You’re alive- holy shit- how did you-”
“What happened?”
“Are you alight? Is Jeongguk hurt?”
“I’m okay,” Taehyung looks up. “And I think he’s alright. I don’t think it bit him.”
Jeongguk sits up, and Taehyung moves out of the way just before their heads can clash. He sees the zombie first, lying on the ground a few feet front him, one of Taehyung’s knives in its skull. He looks around and sees that he’s still on the ground, still at the hotel, the others are all there…and so is Taehyung. He’s not dead, and Taehyung is kneeling right in front of him, covered in dirt and blood, his clothes a tattered mess.
His breath catches, and he stares, wide-eyed, at the boy in front of him- the boy he thought was dead. It feels too good to be true, and he almost doesn’t let himself believe it for fear that it is all an illusion or a trick.
“Tae, you-”
“Jeongguk, I- I’m sorry,” Taehyung says softly, eyes downcast. “I know what I did was stupid, bu-”
He isn’t even listening to what Taehyung is saying, he’s still staring at the older boy, and letting the realization sink in.
He’s moving before he even realizes what he’s doing, trembling hands reaching out and pulling Taehyung close to him. He brings Taehyung’s face to his chest, and buries his nose in Taehyung’s dirty, messy hair. It smells like sweat and blood, but also just of Taehyung- and it’s a reminder that Taehyung is really there, right in front of him, in his arms.
Taehyung’s arms wrap around his middle, and his hands clutch at the back of Jeongguk’s shirt, and it feels like everything is right again. Jeongguk hears Jimin crying again and Namjoon’s relieved laughter, and he feels more arms wrap around the both of them. They’re all hugging, crying, muttering Taehyung’s name and ruffling his hair.
Jeongguk is able to cry again, and Taehyung’s name falls from his lips over and over as he sobs. The emptiness in his chest is gone, and it’s replaced with the sound of Taehyung’s voice, the feeling of Taehyung’s hands on his back and Taehyung’s hair tickling his cheek. Taehyung just invades every one of his senses.
______________
Taehyung getting away from the zombies at the mall had been a complete miracle. He explains that he only had his smallest knife on him, stuffed inside of his boot. He fought with every ounce of strength he had, and could only hope that he wouldn’t get bitten. When he got away, he ended up locking himself in a dressing room.
Hours passed before he dared to go out again. He had fractured his ankle, but he knew he had to move. The others were long gone by then, so Taehyung had no way back to them but by foot. He knew the way to the hotel, but it took him days to get there with an injured ankle and other zombies lurking on the streets. He reached them just as the zombie had knocked Jeongguk to the ground.
Taehyung tells them all the story around a mouthful of stale bread as Namjoon attends to his ankle. He’s inhaling all food in sight, after not having eaten for over two days. They should be rationing it, but no one dares to deny Taehyung any food he asks for. And even if they did, Jeongguk would have glared at them until they gave up the food.
Jeongguk stays glued to Taehyung’s side, much to Namjoon’s annoyance as the older boy tries to check for other injuries. He feels like he always has to be touching Taehyung; holding his hand, brushing his fingers through his hair, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Taehyung happily soaks up the attention. He probably isn’t used to Jungkook initiating so much physical affection, especially in front of everyone like this.
He wants to be alone with Taehyung, but he knows that probably won’t happen for a while. It’s rare that they ever get any privacy. For now, he is content with sharing Taehyung with the others. They had all been devastated too, and relieved when they discovered Taehyung was alive. They all deserved to spend some time with him.
Seokjin and Hoseok both wait on Taehyung hand and foot, bringing him food and water and cleaning the dirt and blood from his skin. Jimin sticks to the side of Taehyung that Jeongguk isn’t already occupying, and his smile is blinding. Yoongi lingers by the door, knife in hand, cautious and protective. He keeps glancing back at Taehyung as the boy tells his story, but he hardly takes his eyes off the door.
A selfish part of Jeongguk still hopes that the next place they stay will be another hotel so they can all have separate rooms.
They pack up as soon as Namjoon is finished treating Taehyung’s injuries.
With a stomach full of food and painkillers, Taehyung is blissful and flighty as Jeongguk carries him to the car. His eyes are dropping and there’s a lazy smile stuck on his face. Hoseok and Jimin are both flanking Jeongguk’s sides, weapons drawn and ready for anything.
“Kookie-ah,” Taehyung sings, playing with the hair on the nape of Jeongguk’s neck. “Did Jiminie get my chocolate?” He asks, words slightly slurred.
“Yes, Tae, you ate it already,” he reminds Taehyung with an amused smile.
“Really?” Taehyung perks up a bit, genuinely shocked. “Are you sure the zombies didn’t eat it?”
He hears Hoseok’s snort of laughter to his left, and he tries to hold in his own laughter as he gives Taehyung an answer. “Yes, I’m sure.”
Taehyung is so messed up on pain meds, his stories and questions are even weirder than usual. And Jeongguk didn’t think he could get any weirder.
Namjoon, Seokjin, and Yoongi are waiting for them by the car, with everything already packed into the trunk. They all climb in and the three youngest go to the backseat, where they always reside. Taehyung stretches across the both of them, his feet in Jimin’s lap and his head resting in Jeongguk’s lap.
He runs his fingers through Taehyung’s hair and watches Taehyung sleep peacefully in his lap, a smile gracing his lips.
Things feel familiar and comfortable once again, and Jeongguk can almost pretend that the past few days never happened. But he knows that will be impossible. This will haunt him for a long time. The fear of losing Taehyung, of losing any of the others, has only grown stronger. It lingers in the back of his mind, filling his thoughts with worry and doubt.
He can never be sure that they are safe in this world. He doesn’t know what horrors the future will bring. But right here, right now, he is lucky enough to have Taehyung back in his arms, safe and happy.
Taehyung is still here, providing Jeongguk with the light he needs in this dark world.
Pairings: taekook, side namjin & yoonmin
Rating: R
Genre: zombie apocalypse AU, drama, angst, a little romance and fluff?
Warnings: violence, blood, gore
Summary: It still baffles him, how Taehyung can smile like the sun shines out of his ass when the world is falling apart aroud them, but he cherishes every glimpse he gets of it.
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A/N: I've been wanting to write a zombie apocalypse AU for a while, and I've read so many recently, so it kind of got me in the mood to write one. Bless all the zombie apocalypse fanfiction out there, I never get tired of it lol This is my first BTS fic so please excuse any weird characterization. Also I wrote this at like 3am last night and it was supposed to just be a oneshot but it's probably going to turn into a series of oneshots in this AU because I got more and more obsessed and attached as I wrote /sighs/. So yeah, please comment if you want more I guess? Also, yes, I did name this after a cheesy lyric from a song in Pitch Perfect. I fail at titles, okay?
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“Peaches?”
Jeongguk turns to see said fruit dangling from a plastic fork about 2 inches from his face. Taehyung is grinning at him like it’s the greatest present he could give him. And he supposes that it kind of is, in this shitty world that they’re stuck in. They peaches are just crappy canned peaches, but they still taste like heaven on Jeongguk’s tongue when Taehyung feeds it to him. After eating beans and cold, uncooked raviolis from a can for three days straight, it’s a nice change. Taehyung knows how much he loves peaches, so he suspects that the older boy snagged them from the last grocery store they raided and kept them hidden in his bag the entire time, because he hadn’t seen any of the others eat them.
“Good?”
Jeongguk nods and Taehyung gives him one of those sunshine smiles that still causes his heart to speed up, even to this day. He’s beautiful and bright, and Jeongguk falls all over again. He does every time Taehyung smiles. It still baffles him, how Taehyung can smile like the sun shines out of his ass when the world is falling apart around them, but he cherishes every glimpse he gets of it.
Taehyung places the open can of peaches in his lap, with the plastic fork inside of it. Taehyung must have eaten a few bites, but it isn’t even half empty, so he knows the older boy saved most of it for him, and he feels a wave of gratitude at the thought.
“Hey! You’re not going to share?”
Jimin glances at them from where he’s seated right next to Jeongguk, who is squashed in the middle of both him and Taehyung in the very back of the SUV. His lips are in a slight pout as he eyes the peaches.
“Nope! Sorry Jiminie, I got these just for Kookie.”
“No fair,” Jimin whines, wriggling in his seat. Jeongguk has to fight the urge to laugh.
“Just get some at the next store,” Yoongi says from one of the middle seats. “We’re almost there.” Hoseok is in the seat next to him, loading his gun. Namjoon is driving, as he always does, with Seokjin in the front seat. They’re murmuring quietly to each other, ignoring the pointless discussion going on in the back.
It’s a familiar sight, one that Jeongguk had grown accustomed to in the past few years. They had all somehow come together to form this ragtag group of kids who had no one else left in the world after the outbreak. Namjoon and Hoseok are brothers, and they had both known Seokjin for years before the outbreak. Namjoon, Seokjin and Hoseok had found Jeongguk in his house when they stopped to look for food. He had been hiding in the hallway closet for days, clutching the knife he had used to kill his own mother after she had attacked him in a haze of bloodlust. They found Jimin and Taehyung after that, stuck inside their high school, both of them almost starved to death. Yoongi was the last to join them, and he had done so with some reluctance. He preferred to distance himself and didn’t see the benefit of joining their little group. It wasn’t until Jimin had saved his life by chopping off the head of zombie that had been 3 inches away from ripping out his throat that he decided to join them. He had stuck to Jimin’s side ever since, even if he didn’t like to admit it.
Jeongguk, silent and frightened and traumatized, had kept his distance from most of them. He remembers hardly speaking a word to any of them. Until Taehyung came along. Taehyung who, even on the verge of death, smiled so brightly when they found him, who begged them to help Jimin because he just wanted his best friend to live, who pestered Jeongguk until he finally spoke his name. At first it was annoying, Taehyung’s bright nature and his ability to ramble on for hours about the strangest things. But Jeongguk soon grew fond of him, and reveled in Taehyung’s positivity, mostly because he had none himself. He only saw darkness at the end of this road for them, but Taehyung had become the flicker of light in that darkness.
Jeongguk picks up the can in his lap, and takes slow bites, savoring the sweet taste of the fruit. He feels Taehyung’s hand on his thigh, his touch gentle and reassuring, a comforting gesture that helps to settle Jeongguk’s nerves. Taehyung’s hair tickles his cheek as the older boy leans his head on his shoulder.
Taehyung had been clingy from the beginning, but Jeongguk doesn’t mind. It keeps him grounded, especially when he gets lost in his own morbid thoughts. And he may have grown to enjoy the affection…just a little.
He’s always nervous before they raid stores, and while he is an expert at hiding it, Taehyung catches on quickly, and always knows exactly what to do for him. The group relies on him a lot, as he’s a natural with almost any weapon and he’s fast and efficient. He’s probably the best against the zombies, aside from Hoseok. He likes that he can protect them, but it puts a lot of pressure on him.
But this raid is supposed to be easy. They have everything they need within the same block, and they’ll most likely be in and out without any problems. They need ammo and more weapons, so they have to hope that the large shopping mall will contain something useful. The grocery store is just down the street from that, and there’s a gas station on the corner. They would be able to get everything they needed in one go.
They stop at the gas station first, and Namjoon and Seokjin both step out first to check for any zombies lurking near them. They tap on the windows when it’s safe to come out.
“Jeongguk, Taehyung, you’re with Hoseok,” Namjoon reminds them. “Find a map first, and if you see any stores that might have what we need, go for it. If not, get the hell out of there.” Hoseok is the weapon expert, having learned all about them from hunting with his father at a young age, and Jeongguk and Taehyung are both quick on their feet and can cover a lot of ground without getting tired.
“Seokjin, Yoongi, stay here and fill up the car. Stock up on any food you find inside. Jimin and I will go-”
“I’ll go with Jimin,” Yoongi announces, stepping away from Namjoon and shifting closer to Jimin, until they’re shoulder to shoulder. He gives Namjoon a glare that dares him to challenge his decision, but Jeongguk can see by Namjoon’s expression that he already knows there is no changing Yoongi’s mind. Namjoon gives in with a sigh, “Fine, Yoongi goes with Jimin to the grocery store, while Seokjin and I stay here and fill up the car. Are we clear?”
They all nod, and Jeongguk takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. It’s always a risk doing this, no matter how much they have done it before. He glances to Taehyung who stands next to him, bouncing on the balls of his feet, full of too much energy to stay still. He isn’t smiling, but his eyes are bright and alert. When he notices Jeongguk staring, he turns to look at him, and his lips stretch into another grin. “Ready, Kookie-ah?”
The corner of Jeongguk’s lips twitch into what can be called a smile, but in comparison to Taehyung’s, it feels weak. “Yeah.”
“Don’t be nervous,” Taehyung closes the distance between them and places a quick kiss on his lips. It’s soft and fleeting, but it leaves Jeongguk feeling like he is floating on cloud nine, instead of standing at an old gas station in the middle of a zombie-infested world.
The others aren’t paying them much attention, but he still feels his cheeks grow warm from embarrassment. It isn’t as if what he and Taehyung have is a secret, but he is still very shy when it comes to the affection Taehyung shows when they are around.
“Be safe,” Seokjin says, coming around to ruffle their hair or pat their cheeks. Taehyung grins even wider and leans into Seokjin’s touch like a cat seeking affection. Jeongguk nods and lets Seokjin make a mess out of his already ratted hair.
They set off with Hoseok leading them. Jeongguk watches Yoongi and Jimin take off down the street to the grocery store, their pace slow and steady, and their footsteps quiet.
He matches his pace with Taehyung’s and watches Hoseok’s back as he jogs right in front of them. Hoseok can be almost as talkative and ridiculously bright as Taehyung at times, but he is always very focused when they do things like this. Jeongguk trusts his abilities more than anyone else’s.
He feels Taehyung’s hand slip into his own as they make their way across the mall parking lot. “I hope Jiminie finds chocolate at the store.”
“Even if he does, he might not share with you after you were so stingy with those peaches,” Jeongguk teases.
“Those were yours!” Taehyung insists. “Jimin loves me too much. I’ll just pester him for a while and he’ll give in. He always does,” and Jeongguk knows it’s true, because he’s seen it happen dozens of times.
Jeongguk still feels nervous when they step into the mall, but Taehyung’s smile gives him strength and the feeling of Taehyung’s hand linked with his own is comforting.
________________
Luck is on their side.
A map of the mall isn’t far from the front door and they find that a store on the third floor should have everything they need.
The mall is silent, no sounds indicating that there are zombies anywhere near them. The escalators are littered with dead bodies, and since taking a closed in stairwell could be a bad idea if a zombie closes in on them there, they take a shot at the elevators. Miraculously, the elevators are still working. They are cautious when the doors open, but find no zombies waiting for them inside. As the elevator carries them up to the third floor, they ready their weapons, guns held up and aimed for the sliding doors. They all have knives stowed away in various places too, just in case. Jeongguk and Hoseok aren’t very good with close range weapons, but Taehyung is a pro with a dagger, or even a small kitchen knife. Jeongguk knows Taehyung doesn’t like using guns, but he uses them when he has to.
There isn’t anything waiting for them when the elevator doors slide open on the third floor, and Jeongguk loosens his grip on his gun just a bit. They’re quiet and quick as they make their way to their destination. He and Taehyung watch Hoseok’s back as the older boy gathers whatever weapons and ammo that they can manage to carry out. Hoseok fills two bags with lightning speed and he and Taehyung take them without question. It’s smarter to have Hoseok cover them, as he has the best aim.
Taehyung gives him another grin as they make their way back to the elevator, and he manages to smile back, a sense of relief washing over him. Eager to get out and meet back up with the others, his footsteps quicken and the elevator is soon in his line of vision.
“Wait,” Jeongguk comes to a halt as soon as he hears Taehyung’s whispered command. Hoseok is in front of them now, gun still held up and ready to aim, and Taehyung has fallen behind a bit. “Do you hear that?” Jeongguk turns to face him, and watches his expression as he struggles to catch the sound of whatever he heard.
“Wha-”
The word isn’t even out of Jeongguk’s mouth before he hears it too. Footsteps, groaning, low growls-
“Go!” Hoseok commands.
Jeongguk catches sight of the crowd of zombies just before he turns around to run. They’ve already given themselves away, so Hoseok doesn’t bother with stealth, and starts shooting at any zombie he sees. But they start to come from all sides, trapping them in and cornering them like small prey. They aren’t going to make it to the elevator before the zombies reach them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t fight them off. Jeongguk aims with his free hand and shoots into the crowds of zombies. There are dozens of them, more than he can count, and he feels a spike of fear.
“Forget the weapons! Drop them! Come on!”
Jeongguk hates doing it, because it makes their fight feel like it’s not even worth it, but he drops the bag of weapons to the floor, and he hears Taehyung drop his too.
All Jeongguk can hear is their heavy footsteps on the ground as they run, the growls of the zombies that are closing in on them, the sound of their guns going off. He smells the blood and the image of his mother flashes before his eyes, her mouth covered in the blood of his older sister, her eyes glossy and blank as she bounds over to him snarling. This can’t be happening- not now- not when he has to fight- not when-
“Jeongguk!” Taehyung’s voice breaks him out of his flashback, and a second later, he feels Taehyung’s knife zip past his ear and land right in the eye of a zombie that had been going for his throat.
He acts quickly and grabs Taehyung’s hand, pulling the older boy forward. He’s out of bullets and he doesn’t see Taehyung’s gun in his hand anymore, so he assumes Taehyung dropped it. They can only rely on their speed, and Hoseok’s remaining ammo.
His heart pounds loudly in his ears, and he holds Taehyung’s hand in a vice grip. They’re almost there- so close- the zombies are closing in, he can hear them and see them all around, but they’re almost-
“Ah!”
Taehyung’s hand slips out of his, and he whips around to see Taehyung on the floor, zombies grabbing at his legs and dragging him back. His heart lurches and he doesn’t hesitate to reach out for Taehyung and throw himself to the ground as he struggles to shorten the distance between them. They latch onto each other’s hands and Jeongguk pulls- he uses every bit of strength he has, every ounce of his willpower-
Taehyung is staring at him, eyes blown wide with fear, for himself- for Jeongguk- all of them. Jeongguk feels a hand on his ankle and screams on instinct, but when he glances back, he sees that it’s Hoseok. The older boy is in the elevator, his gun - now out of ammo - thrown to the side, and both of his hands latched onto Jeongguk’s ankle as he tries to pull them both in.
“Keep a hold on him, Jeongguk! I’ll pull you guys in!”
“I am!” Jeongguk sobs. “I am!” His arms are aching from the strain of pulling, but he doesn’t care, because Taehyung is- Taehyung is being pulled away, his hand is slipping-
Jeongguk tightens his grip again, holding onto Taehyung’s wrist for dear life, and he knows that there are zombies surrounding him too- he can feel them reaching for him, their fingers brushing against his clothes before Hoseok attempts to fight them off.
“Kookie-” Taehyung’s eyes dart from left to right, taking in their surroundings- assessing the situation- seeing the zombies that are closing in on Jeongguk- and then he looks back at Jeongguk and Jeongguk feels like he might scream again. The fear in Taehyung’s eyes is replaced by resolve, and there’s guilt there too, Jeongguk can see it. Taehyung has made a decision, and Jeongguk know it’s stupid and reckless and he’s not going to let him- “I’m sorry.” There are tears in his eyes, and Jeongguk wants to believe that it’s just from the fear.
“No, Taehyung, no, don’t-”
But Taehyung loosens his grip completely, and without Taehyung holding on, Jeongguk’s grip on Taehyung’s wrist is slipping. “No! Tae, please! Grab on! Do it, now!”
“Go!” Taehyung screams, tears spilling over as he pulls his wrist from Jeongguk’s grips.
Jeongguk is immediately pulled back and he crashes into Hoseok as he lands inside the elevator. His head slams into the wall and he’s momentarily disoriented. He’s dizzy but he scrambles to sit up just as the doors are closing. There’s panic clawing at his chest and up his throat, and he released it in a frustrated scream.
He sees Taehyung being dragged around the corner just as the doors close.
“NO!” He crawls his way over, a mess of limbs, and bangs on the elevator doors, “No! No! Taehyung! Open the doors, Hoseok! Open them now!”
He feels arms around his middle but he doesn’t stop banging on the doors. The sight of Taehyung’s face is fresh in his mind, frightened tear-filled eyes and dirt-covered cheeks. “We have to go back! Hyung, we have to go back!”
He reaches over with trembling hands to press the button for the third floor, but Hoseok stops him. “What are you doing!?” He snarls, turning around to glare at the older boy as he pulls his hands away from the button.
Hoseok’s face is streaked with tears, but Jeongguk can’t bring himself to care because Taehyung- Taehyung-
“Jeongguk, there are too many, and- and we have no weapons. There are too many- we can’t-”
“Yes, we can!” Jeongguk screams, ripping his hands away from Hoseok to bang on the doors again. “We have to! It’s Taehyung! We have to go back!”
Jeongguk doesn’t remember much after that. He remembers screaming. He remembers fighting and struggling as Hoseok carries him out of the mall and runs across the parking lot. He’s in a haze of desperation and anger and shock and he can hardly see anything in front of him. He can only see Taehyung’s face- Taehyung’s eyes just before the zombies dragged him away, Taehyung’s boxy grin that Jeongguk got to see just moments before everything went to hell.
There are tears clouding his vision and there’s blood rushing in his ears- He hears voices, sees flashes of Seokjin and Namjoon’s worried and frightened faces- but he’s too gone to know what’s even happening.
“He’s bleeding-”
“I think he has a concussion.”
“He won’t stop-”
“Put him in the car.”
Hoseok locks him in the car as he explains the situation to the rest of them, and by then, Jeongguk is too exhausted to do much more than bang his hand weakly against the window. His own sobbing is painfully loud in the car, drowning out the others’ muffled voices.
He has to go back…Taehyung is still there…He’s still there and Jeongguk left him…
He has to go back.
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Nothing is the same when Jeongguk wakes up.
They’re back at their hiding place- a hotel they had been staying in for a few weeks, until they decided they needed to move on- but Taehyung isn’t there and nothing is right.
Jimin cries. He cries and cries and cries and all Jeongguk hears is the sound of Jimin crying and Taehyung’s voice saying “Kookie, I’m sorry,” over and over in his head.
Yoongi is angry- he’s furious. He paces around the room, muttering to himself, and sharpening his knives in attempt to keep himself busy. Namjoon and Seokjin try to keep it together for the rest of them, but Jeongguk catches them crying - together, wrapped in each other’s arms - when they think he’s sleeping. Hoseok does everything he possibly can. He flits around the room, trying to make sure everyone is eating, everyone is healthy, everyone is okay- He knows Hoseok feels guilty. He feels guilty about not being able to do more, about not going back, about everything.
And Jeongguk-
Jeongguk hasn’t spoken a word since he woke up. He can’t speak, he can’t get the words out. He takes Taehyung’s favorite t-shirt and holds it as he sits by the window, as though clutching it too him will somehow make him feel like Taehyung is there. He doesn’t sleep because all he sees when he closes his eyes is Taehyung- Taehyung suffering a slow, torturous death- Taehyung covered in blood and torn apart as the zombies feed on him-
Jeongguk makes himself sick with these images, but when he heaves into the trash can by his chair, there’s nothing in him to throw up.
He still feels like he’s in denial. None of it feels real. It all feels like some fucked up dream, and he hopes he’ll wake soon, so he can hold Taehyung in his arms, and hear Taehyung’s stupid giggle in his ear, and see Taehyung’s goofy smile.
“Jeongguk?”
He is brought back to reality at the sound of his name, and he looks over to see Jimin standing next to his chair, his eyes red and swollen and his lips pulled into a frown. “We- We have to go soon. Yoongi, Seokjin, and Namjoon all went to see if they can find any more food in the hotel. We’re leaving in a few hours.”
Their plan had been to leave a day after they got what they needed from the mall and the grocery store. They’d already been staying in this town for weeks, and the supplies were running low. It was time to move on.
How many days had it been since they raided the mall? Two? Three? Jeongguk isn’t even sure. Everything blurred together.
Jeongguk says nothing, the words still get stuck in his throat. He just stares at the floor and shakes his head, as the panic begins to build.
‘We can’t- We can’t leave him- He’s still there! We have to go back!’
Jimin kneels down in front of him and takes both of his hands. “I know, okay? I know,” Jimin is crying again, crying for Jeongguk because Jeongguk hasn’t squeezed out a single tear since Taehyung was dragged away. He can’t cry. Crying means accepting that Taehyung is really gone. And he can’t do that. “I don’t want to leave either. Not when Tae-” Jimin chokes on Taehyung’s name and more tears spill down his cheeks. He doesn’t finish what he was saying, he just pulls Jeongguk into a hug, and cries on his shoulder. Jeongguk is limp and still in his arms.
Without Taehyung, without the only light he had in this dark world, he feels empty. There’s pain- an ache in his chest that won’t go away- but then, only emptiness.
He knows that Jimin is hurting just as much as he is. Taehyung is his best friend. They were best friends even before the outbreak, they were practically brothers. He feels like he should return Jimin’s embrace, but he doesn’t.
Taehyung was important to all of them. He was theirs- their family, their brother. But he was Jeongguk’s in a different way. The smile Taehyung gave him when they were alone belongs to only him, the secrets Taehyung shared with him are his, the freckle on Taehyung’s stomach that Jeongguk kissed every time they made love is his, the feeling of Taehyung’s warm breath on his neck as he slept is his.
Jimin pulls away, pats his hair, and makes his way to the bed so he can cry alone under the covers. Jeongguk is grateful that he doesn’t try to tell him that everything will be okay.
He is left to his own thoughts again, and he feels like he might suffocate under all of them. He doesn’t know what to do, because he can’t leave the others, but he can’t leave Taehyung- he can’t-
JJeongguk doesn’t even notice the commotion outside until Hoseok is standing up, ripping open the door, and calling for Jimin. “- a hoard of them! The other three are holding them off but they’re getting closer. Come on!”
Hoseok doesn’t bother to call for him, doesn’t ask him to fight, because he’d probably be useless in his current state.
But as soon as he glances out the window and sees Seokjin, Namjoon, and Yoongi fighting off a crowd of zombies, he feels a flare of rage. He sees the image of Taehyung being dragged away by those monsters, and all he wants to do is rip every single one of them apart. Hoseok and Jimin have already run outside and joined in the fight, so Jeongguk is alone with his rage.
He stumbles out of the chair and over to Hoseok’s bag, where he knows Hoseok keeps more weapons hidden, just in case. He pulls out the first two guns he gets his hands on and tears out the door.
He aims and shoots, over and over. He sees the others throwing shocked glances his way, but he doesn’t answer them when they ask what the hell he’s doing.
His common sense is clouded by anger, but he isn’t stupid. The monsters are all he sees and that’s where he aims. The others won’t get in his way. When he runs out of bullets, he charges at the rest of the monsters, screaming and bashes their skulls with the butt of the guns.
With all of them fighting, and Jeongguk on his crazed rampage, they kill all the zombies fairly quickly. The others are all a little further behind than Jeongguk, their weapons lowered and their breathing short and labored. Jeongguk kicks the last monster to the ground and smashes its head in with his gun. He feel the crunch of its skull as it crack, and its blood splatters on his face. It is all strangely satisfying, but it doesn’t fill the gaping emptiness that is still inside of him. He screams in frustration, and keeps smashing his gun into the monster’s skull even after it stops moving.
“Jeongguk!”
“Jeongguk, watch out!”
The gun is knocked out of his hand when he is tackled to the ground. He lands on his back, with a zombie right on top of him, snarling and growling as it bears it’s rotten, blood-covered teeth. He hears footsteps, everyone screaming his name, but he knows the others won’t reach him in time. It’s already going for his throat.
It feels as though time slows, and in those last few seconds, Jeongguk’s mind is going in all different directions.
As he looks up at the monster above him, he wonders if Taehyung is already dead, or if he’s been turned into one if these things. He hopes it isn’t the latter. Because Jeongguk knows he is dead either way. If he turns, one of the others will kill him. He hopes it isn’t Hoseok or Jimin, they’ve been through enough.
So he’d rather Taehyung be dead, than turned into one of these. At least Jeongguk would be able to join him this way, in whatever place they end up once they die. Jeongguk doesn’t really care what’s waiting for him after death, as long as Taehyung is there.
He’s okay with it ending like this, because he really couldn’t imagine leaving this town without Taehyung.
He closes his eyes and expects to feel pain, but it doesn’t come. The zombie is growling in his ear, and he can feel it dripping blood and spit on his neck, but then- then the weight on top of him is gone.
When he opens his eyes again, he can’t stop the sob that rips from his throat. “Taehyung,” he cries, voice raspy and weak.
Taehyung’s face is hovering above him, dirty and bloody and beautiful. This has to be heaven- his own personal heaven.
“Kookie, are you okay!? Did it bite you!?”
He really thought he’d never hear Taehyung’s deep, deep voice again, but there it is, calling his name- that stupid, wonderful nickname that Taehyung loves so much.
Taehyung’s hands are on his shoulders and wiping the blood from his neck, and it seems surreal to feel Taehyung’s touch again, when the last time he had felt it was right before Taehyung was ripped away from him.
And then he hears other voices and he’s confused.
“Oh my god-”
“Tae-”
“You’re alive- holy shit- how did you-”
“What happened?”
“Are you alight? Is Jeongguk hurt?”
“I’m okay,” Taehyung looks up. “And I think he’s alright. I don’t think it bit him.”
Jeongguk sits up, and Taehyung moves out of the way just before their heads can clash. He sees the zombie first, lying on the ground a few feet front him, one of Taehyung’s knives in its skull. He looks around and sees that he’s still on the ground, still at the hotel, the others are all there…and so is Taehyung. He’s not dead, and Taehyung is kneeling right in front of him, covered in dirt and blood, his clothes a tattered mess.
His breath catches, and he stares, wide-eyed, at the boy in front of him- the boy he thought was dead. It feels too good to be true, and he almost doesn’t let himself believe it for fear that it is all an illusion or a trick.
“Tae, you-”
“Jeongguk, I- I’m sorry,” Taehyung says softly, eyes downcast. “I know what I did was stupid, bu-”
He isn’t even listening to what Taehyung is saying, he’s still staring at the older boy, and letting the realization sink in.
He’s moving before he even realizes what he’s doing, trembling hands reaching out and pulling Taehyung close to him. He brings Taehyung’s face to his chest, and buries his nose in Taehyung’s dirty, messy hair. It smells like sweat and blood, but also just of Taehyung- and it’s a reminder that Taehyung is really there, right in front of him, in his arms.
Taehyung’s arms wrap around his middle, and his hands clutch at the back of Jeongguk’s shirt, and it feels like everything is right again. Jeongguk hears Jimin crying again and Namjoon’s relieved laughter, and he feels more arms wrap around the both of them. They’re all hugging, crying, muttering Taehyung’s name and ruffling his hair.
Jeongguk is able to cry again, and Taehyung’s name falls from his lips over and over as he sobs. The emptiness in his chest is gone, and it’s replaced with the sound of Taehyung’s voice, the feeling of Taehyung’s hands on his back and Taehyung’s hair tickling his cheek. Taehyung just invades every one of his senses.
______________
Taehyung getting away from the zombies at the mall had been a complete miracle. He explains that he only had his smallest knife on him, stuffed inside of his boot. He fought with every ounce of strength he had, and could only hope that he wouldn’t get bitten. When he got away, he ended up locking himself in a dressing room.
Hours passed before he dared to go out again. He had fractured his ankle, but he knew he had to move. The others were long gone by then, so Taehyung had no way back to them but by foot. He knew the way to the hotel, but it took him days to get there with an injured ankle and other zombies lurking on the streets. He reached them just as the zombie had knocked Jeongguk to the ground.
Taehyung tells them all the story around a mouthful of stale bread as Namjoon attends to his ankle. He’s inhaling all food in sight, after not having eaten for over two days. They should be rationing it, but no one dares to deny Taehyung any food he asks for. And even if they did, Jeongguk would have glared at them until they gave up the food.
Jeongguk stays glued to Taehyung’s side, much to Namjoon’s annoyance as the older boy tries to check for other injuries. He feels like he always has to be touching Taehyung; holding his hand, brushing his fingers through his hair, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Taehyung happily soaks up the attention. He probably isn’t used to Jungkook initiating so much physical affection, especially in front of everyone like this.
He wants to be alone with Taehyung, but he knows that probably won’t happen for a while. It’s rare that they ever get any privacy. For now, he is content with sharing Taehyung with the others. They had all been devastated too, and relieved when they discovered Taehyung was alive. They all deserved to spend some time with him.
Seokjin and Hoseok both wait on Taehyung hand and foot, bringing him food and water and cleaning the dirt and blood from his skin. Jimin sticks to the side of Taehyung that Jeongguk isn’t already occupying, and his smile is blinding. Yoongi lingers by the door, knife in hand, cautious and protective. He keeps glancing back at Taehyung as the boy tells his story, but he hardly takes his eyes off the door.
A selfish part of Jeongguk still hopes that the next place they stay will be another hotel so they can all have separate rooms.
They pack up as soon as Namjoon is finished treating Taehyung’s injuries.
With a stomach full of food and painkillers, Taehyung is blissful and flighty as Jeongguk carries him to the car. His eyes are dropping and there’s a lazy smile stuck on his face. Hoseok and Jimin are both flanking Jeongguk’s sides, weapons drawn and ready for anything.
“Kookie-ah,” Taehyung sings, playing with the hair on the nape of Jeongguk’s neck. “Did Jiminie get my chocolate?” He asks, words slightly slurred.
“Yes, Tae, you ate it already,” he reminds Taehyung with an amused smile.
“Really?” Taehyung perks up a bit, genuinely shocked. “Are you sure the zombies didn’t eat it?”
He hears Hoseok’s snort of laughter to his left, and he tries to hold in his own laughter as he gives Taehyung an answer. “Yes, I’m sure.”
Taehyung is so messed up on pain meds, his stories and questions are even weirder than usual. And Jeongguk didn’t think he could get any weirder.
Namjoon, Seokjin, and Yoongi are waiting for them by the car, with everything already packed into the trunk. They all climb in and the three youngest go to the backseat, where they always reside. Taehyung stretches across the both of them, his feet in Jimin’s lap and his head resting in Jeongguk’s lap.
He runs his fingers through Taehyung’s hair and watches Taehyung sleep peacefully in his lap, a smile gracing his lips.
Things feel familiar and comfortable once again, and Jeongguk can almost pretend that the past few days never happened. But he knows that will be impossible. This will haunt him for a long time. The fear of losing Taehyung, of losing any of the others, has only grown stronger. It lingers in the back of his mind, filling his thoughts with worry and doubt.
He can never be sure that they are safe in this world. He doesn’t know what horrors the future will bring. But right here, right now, he is lucky enough to have Taehyung back in his arms, safe and happy.
Taehyung is still here, providing Jeongguk with the light he needs in this dark world.