I'm gonna melt the fever, sugar, rolling back your eyes.
Well, another day, another way. 2007 has come and gone. It was a year of much significance, and Lord knows that's an understatement. Now, I'm used to my share of ups and downs, but this was just ridiculous. Scars of all kinds, words being spoken, blown wide open, and pools of blood you just don't want to see. I've never felt more scared or more at
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27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Again, no one.
You know that now that you're on my friend's list I will almost always comment.
I'm going to be honest with you here, Ashley, and I hope it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable; that is not my intention. Earlier today I was wondering if you ever cry. You have enough reasons to, and most of those reasons have been acquired throughout the past 3 years. My mother says that you do but I never see you - not that it's something I want to see; I've just always looked at you in such high regard that I have this idea that you're made of stone etched into my mind - I think you're invincible. But you're a human being, just like me. No matter how much we care about someone and how much we look up to them they're still humans - they're still destructible, and the simple things like crying reminds us of their own mortality. It's good that you're crying because despite the reasoning for it it actually does help. If you need to talk, I am always here for you. Please remember that.
I'd write more but honestly I'm so tired that I keep losing my train of thought. I have doubts that even what I've written isn't entirely coherent. My apologies.
Love,
your little brother
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I had to be, for reasons you know about which I don't want to discuss. But yes, me and dad were in a heated argument and I guess my emotions got the better of me and I just started bawling. It had nothing to do with what we were fighting about, of course.
Sometimes, when your heart is aching, your mind follows suit. And I've been crying a lot these days, it's just that no one is around to see it.
I know you'll listen, Luke. It's just sometimes I don't feel like talking. This is something I've kind of been keeping bottled up inside, which is another thing I tend to do because of happenings in the past.
I'm just a little lost right now. I'll find my way.
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I understand Ashley. I too tend to bottle things up, only in time they surface and I erupt into an onslaught of emotions towards someone who isn't deserving - like you. And I'm sorry for that. If there's anything I've learned it's that repressing your thoughts and emotions is not a good idea. Nothing good ever comes of it. It's something I regret doing every day as it has not only affected me, but you as well. My OCD wouldn't have gotten as bad as it did if it weren't for me bottling things up. I don't want anything like that to happen to you.
If it's thoughts of Dave you're neglecting to express then all I can tell you is that the above sentiment is especially true when dealing with love. You should never keep something as complicated as love locked away inside you; it'll make you sick to your stomach. It's slow torture.
You may be lost at the moment but just know that I'll always be here to help guide you through the dark if need be. I love you.
Luke
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