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I promise I'll write a real entire later, but right now I working 35+ hours a week, and trying tho finish high school, and doing a puppet play (sunday), and a another play (next sunday) and Christmas shopping and I'm taking the SATs on Saturday and I don't know what to do after college and I'm not happy and I have to go to work
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And second, (perhaps this should have been first) I really love you a lot!! I miss you and I'm glad I got to see you last week. I am delighted that you are my friend and that you take time to really care. You mean bunches to me and I can't wait to get closer to you when we girls start our study thing... yay.
Third.... you are not vain. You are not obsessed with your appearance. I think you just have a different style than Mo. Instead of grunge (I don't mean this negatively, but just as a style) you are more on the preppy side. Just your dress... haha. (You do not have the traditonal "prep" spirit about you. You are much nicer than that. And you aren't and airhead. And you know how to think for yourself, and you do...)
Anyway, I think if anything, you want to look nice and fitin just as much as anybody else who longs for acceptance in this place.... that's not where we should turn for our acceptance but I can say that as much as I want and I still do things every day that indicate that I want to fit in and I want to belong and I want poeple to like me and approve of me. Yeah, so I think that is just human, and, while not excusable, it is understandable and is not what I would call "vanity."
Fourthly, I would challenge you...to tive to live radically in your freedom in christ. Look to him for your identity. I know this is very hard for me - a struggle, if you will. When I think how it would be if I truly lived that way and applied it in every instance, If I only really cared what God thought... the implications of that would be a radical contrast to who I am now. I would be so much more confident... because I wouldn't care what "they" thought. I would be more free to be myself. Around anyone. You know the goofball crap i do around you.... you and josiah and michael are the only people who even know that side of me. And it shouldn't be that way. But I live in fear of what other people think. Well, god has been showing me that he doesn't want that life for me. he doesn't want me to live in fear. He wants me to live in him and not let the opinions of other people dictate who I am/become. Ok, enough preaching.
Fifthly, You ever read 1 peter 3:4? Well, that's you. Have have a gentle and quiet spirit and that's enough for me. I love you.
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