(no subject)
And it’s then that it hits me. The real reason behind the knotting in my stomach has nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t eaten all day. Nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I only got three hours of sleep or that I spent most of my evening trying to get to the bottom of some very difficult questions.
No, the sad truth behind the tightness in my chest is that I’ve finally realized I am in love’s equivalent of purgatory. No going forward, no going backward. I am forever stuck in that one, sick moment when I over crossed my boundaries and went from a blissful ignorance to an overwhelming knowing. And there’s no going back now.
The consequences to my actions have been calculated and announced. I am sentenced to insanity and insecurity from now until the moment he decides what he wants.
*sigh*
Happy New Years.