just a thought.....
[14:00] anonymous friend: who's going to be here in a month to hold you?
[14:00] *** Auto-response : I LOVE TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
But I love it more when someone's holding me.
...just one more month....
[14:25] SILLYhun22: :)
Session Close Mon Dec 05 14:26:05 2005
Session Start :Mon Dec 05 14:39:47 2005
[14:39] anonymous friend: that's not an answer
[14:40] SILLYhun22: :) lol
[14:40] SILLYhun22: Adam will be back in like a month
[14:40] anonymous friend: hmm
[14:41] SILLYhun22: I never get to cuddle at night
[14:41] SILLYhun22: and I miss it
[14:41] SILLYhun22: so when he comes home
[14:41] SILLYhun22: I am gonna cuddle with him
[14:41] anonymous friend: just cuddle?
[14:42] SILLYhun22: probably
[14:42] SILLYhun22: lol
[14:42] SILLYhun22: dis girl hasnt shaved in a LONG time
[14:42] anonymous friend: well
[14:42] SILLYhun22: so I doubt anything else will be acceptable to me
[14:42] SILLYhun22: lol
[14:42] SILLYhun22: Nobody else ever holds me
[14:42] SILLYhun22: I always long for him because of that
[14:42] anonymous friend: i know you and i know that you've struggled with this in the past and done things you have regretted
[14:42] anonymous friend: and i don't want that to happen
[14:43] SILLYhun22: yea
[14:43] SILLYhun22: me neither
[14:43] SILLYhun22: but its worth it to feel loved now and then
[14:43] SILLYhun22: I seriously feel that way right now
[14:43] anonymous friend: you shouldn't have to sin to receive love
[14:44] SILLYhun22: whats considered sin tho?
[14:44] SILLYhun22: Sex?
[14:44] SILLYhun22: making out?
[14:44] SILLYhun22: Not loving someone?
[14:44] SILLYhun22: What if I do love him?
[14:45] SILLYhun22: I used to have a firm stand on what was right and wrong, but gray areas are appearing more and more these days
[14:45] SILLYhun22: I am not asking you to be rude, I am just tellin ya what I think to myself all the time.
[14:45] anonymous friend: no it's ok
[14:45] anonymous friend: i'm not trying to be harsh either
[14:45] SILLYhun22: yeah
[14:45] SILLYhun22: I know
[14:45] SILLYhun22: You're just being a true friend
[14:45] anonymous friend: :)
[14:45] SILLYhun22: and I really do appreciate it
[14:45] anonymous friend: i'm trying
[14:46] SILLYhun22: I jsut wanna be straight up at tell ya why i am havin a hard time
[14:46] anonymous friend: i struggle with the exact same thing
[14:46] SILLYhun22: in hopes of you telling me the truth
[14:48] anonymous friend: well i think that if you express affection physically with someone, and it's not in your heart it's like lying. and if the affection is very intimate, and your relationship isn't truly emotionally and spiritually intimate, then the affection isn't a reflection of anything and it is ultimately empty
[14:48] SILLYhun22: yeah thats pretty damn well put, sista
[14:48] SILLYhun22: I like it :)
[14:49] anonymous friend: that's just what i've been thinking about
[14:49] anonymous friend: becuase just like you, i want a quick fix so often!
[14:50] anonymous friend: why do you think i dated sooo much in high school?
[14:50] anonymous friend: so i could always have a guy to give me a hug when i needed it
[14:50] SILLYhun22: its tough experiencing things and then stopping yourself
[14:51] anonymous friend: but how do you truly feel afterwards? fulfilled and proud?
[14:51] anonymous friend: of a little empty and ashamed?
[14:51] SILLYhun22: the latter
[14:52] anonymous friend: i can't wait until i can fully express my affection and sexuality and have it be ok, no more than ok, have it be worship to God and be able to tell my friends how awesome it is without an ounce of shame
[14:52] SILLYhun22: I think this conversation would sound really good for many people to read..... could I anonymously put this in my online journal?
[14:52] anonymous friend: sure
[14:52] SILLYhun22: I really really like the points of view you have given me today
[14:53] SILLYhun22: :)
[14:53] SILLYhun22: By far, the most important thing I have thought about today.
[14:53] anonymous friend: good. i hope so. even if i haven't fully convinced you, just know that you can be honest with me and i won't judge you
[14:54] SILLYhun22: you;d think, by all the tens of thousands of dollars I pay for tuition, they'd teach me something valuable... shoot, I should just pay you the money for all th ethings you teach me.
[14:54] anonymous friend: ha i wish
[14:54] SILLYhun22: lol
[14:00] *** Auto-response : I LOVE TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
But I love it more when someone's holding me.
...just one more month....
[14:25] SILLYhun22: :)
Session Close Mon Dec 05 14:26:05 2005
Session Start :Mon Dec 05 14:39:47 2005
[14:39] anonymous friend: that's not an answer
[14:40] SILLYhun22: :) lol
[14:40] SILLYhun22: Adam will be back in like a month
[14:40] anonymous friend: hmm
[14:41] SILLYhun22: I never get to cuddle at night
[14:41] SILLYhun22: and I miss it
[14:41] SILLYhun22: so when he comes home
[14:41] SILLYhun22: I am gonna cuddle with him
[14:41] anonymous friend: just cuddle?
[14:42] SILLYhun22: probably
[14:42] SILLYhun22: lol
[14:42] SILLYhun22: dis girl hasnt shaved in a LONG time
[14:42] anonymous friend: well
[14:42] SILLYhun22: so I doubt anything else will be acceptable to me
[14:42] SILLYhun22: lol
[14:42] SILLYhun22: Nobody else ever holds me
[14:42] SILLYhun22: I always long for him because of that
[14:42] anonymous friend: i know you and i know that you've struggled with this in the past and done things you have regretted
[14:42] anonymous friend: and i don't want that to happen
[14:43] SILLYhun22: yea
[14:43] SILLYhun22: me neither
[14:43] SILLYhun22: but its worth it to feel loved now and then
[14:43] SILLYhun22: I seriously feel that way right now
[14:43] anonymous friend: you shouldn't have to sin to receive love
[14:44] SILLYhun22: whats considered sin tho?
[14:44] SILLYhun22: Sex?
[14:44] SILLYhun22: making out?
[14:44] SILLYhun22: Not loving someone?
[14:44] SILLYhun22: What if I do love him?
[14:45] SILLYhun22: I used to have a firm stand on what was right and wrong, but gray areas are appearing more and more these days
[14:45] SILLYhun22: I am not asking you to be rude, I am just tellin ya what I think to myself all the time.
[14:45] anonymous friend: no it's ok
[14:45] anonymous friend: i'm not trying to be harsh either
[14:45] SILLYhun22: yeah
[14:45] SILLYhun22: I know
[14:45] SILLYhun22: You're just being a true friend
[14:45] anonymous friend: :)
[14:45] SILLYhun22: and I really do appreciate it
[14:45] anonymous friend: i'm trying
[14:46] SILLYhun22: I jsut wanna be straight up at tell ya why i am havin a hard time
[14:46] anonymous friend: i struggle with the exact same thing
[14:46] SILLYhun22: in hopes of you telling me the truth
[14:48] anonymous friend: well i think that if you express affection physically with someone, and it's not in your heart it's like lying. and if the affection is very intimate, and your relationship isn't truly emotionally and spiritually intimate, then the affection isn't a reflection of anything and it is ultimately empty
[14:48] SILLYhun22: yeah thats pretty damn well put, sista
[14:48] SILLYhun22: I like it :)
[14:49] anonymous friend: that's just what i've been thinking about
[14:49] anonymous friend: becuase just like you, i want a quick fix so often!
[14:50] anonymous friend: why do you think i dated sooo much in high school?
[14:50] anonymous friend: so i could always have a guy to give me a hug when i needed it
[14:50] SILLYhun22: its tough experiencing things and then stopping yourself
[14:51] anonymous friend: but how do you truly feel afterwards? fulfilled and proud?
[14:51] anonymous friend: of a little empty and ashamed?
[14:51] SILLYhun22: the latter
[14:52] anonymous friend: i can't wait until i can fully express my affection and sexuality and have it be ok, no more than ok, have it be worship to God and be able to tell my friends how awesome it is without an ounce of shame
[14:52] SILLYhun22: I think this conversation would sound really good for many people to read..... could I anonymously put this in my online journal?
[14:52] anonymous friend: sure
[14:52] SILLYhun22: I really really like the points of view you have given me today
[14:53] SILLYhun22: :)
[14:53] SILLYhun22: By far, the most important thing I have thought about today.
[14:53] anonymous friend: good. i hope so. even if i haven't fully convinced you, just know that you can be honest with me and i won't judge you
[14:54] SILLYhun22: you;d think, by all the tens of thousands of dollars I pay for tuition, they'd teach me something valuable... shoot, I should just pay you the money for all th ethings you teach me.
[14:54] anonymous friend: ha i wish
[14:54] SILLYhun22: lol