Good things come to those who wait.
The gentle ticking of the watch I hastily undid and threw down on the bedside table before collapsing into bed. The smooth glide of the cool satin sheets against my warm skin, as I push my legs down into the folds, stretching out into the bed. The distant whir of traffic drifting through the window I opened to let the chilly night air waft in. Pressing eyes shut for a few seconds before reflexively opening them once more, the red numbers of the digital clock on the dresser burning through the darkness. The heavy panting of the dog curled up on the foot of the bed, a dull heat radiating from the spot where he lies. A heavy sigh unable to be prevented from escaping my lips as I roll onto one side, then the other. It is my belief that the senses are heightened at night during the absence of sleep. The past few days haven't proved otherwise. The dark circles under my eyes have grown to epic proportions, finding myself incapable of sleeping without his steady breathing beside me, his arm wrapped around my back, my leg resting in between the two of his. I've gotten used to his presence in my bed every night, now left alone with nothing but my thoughts racing as I toss and turn for hours.
I don't think it's fair to talk about here what happened, not that it matters as everyone and their mother seems to think they know exactly what is going on. The only people who actually do are him and I, and I'd prefer that what hasn't been broadcasted to most of MBP stays between him and I. He knows how I feel and I know how he does, and that's what matters. Nothing in life is perfect, if it was it would be a considerably boring existence. I certainly made mistakes, but now that I've realized them there is nothing to do except learn from them and improve myself. I can mope around and blame everyone else all I want, but in the end, I have to own up to my shit or nothing will ever get better. The time we are taking now I am using to fix these things about myself, but I'm confident that everything will work out. Love is a powerful thing. Especially ours.
There are some people on this earth I just don't understand. The ones with such an unhappiness with themselves that they feel the need to take it out on others, or seek out any contact they can for fear, intense dislike or even incapability of being alone. The ones who try to disguise their actions with petty lighthearted denials but in reality know their actions are quite transparent. The ones who really aren't even really worth my time so that's enough about that. I'm not going to focus on the miserableness that is your life when I have one of my own that really isn't all that bad. If anything, these past few days have made me grateful for the amazing friends I have that are here for me, helping me get through this, listening to me complain and try to work through my thoughts. They are the people that matter. Ashley, you know you helped me an indescribable amount through just one simple conversation, and you know I love you to death.
When all of this first happened Justin invited me over for food, Mean Girls, and snuggling with him and James. I owe Sanoe so much for every time she has been there for me and every time she's let me stay at her place, no questions asked. I enjoyed sitting around watching the craziness unfold, the place always full of people and laughter. Mostly everyone left for Utah though, and I was kindly informed by Michelle that I would have to leave or watch where I was going unless I wanted to walk in on something that might scar me for life. I suggested up drawing up a schedule she could tape to the fridge to let me know where and when, but she brought up the problem of what was to happen if they were doing it in there when I went in to check the schedule. In the end I locked myself in the guest bedroom with Roberto Padapuppyman. That is his given name but he still needs a more doglike nickname. Suggestions are welcome.
I miss you.
I don't think it's fair to talk about here what happened, not that it matters as everyone and their mother seems to think they know exactly what is going on. The only people who actually do are him and I, and I'd prefer that what hasn't been broadcasted to most of MBP stays between him and I. He knows how I feel and I know how he does, and that's what matters. Nothing in life is perfect, if it was it would be a considerably boring existence. I certainly made mistakes, but now that I've realized them there is nothing to do except learn from them and improve myself. I can mope around and blame everyone else all I want, but in the end, I have to own up to my shit or nothing will ever get better. The time we are taking now I am using to fix these things about myself, but I'm confident that everything will work out. Love is a powerful thing. Especially ours.
There are some people on this earth I just don't understand. The ones with such an unhappiness with themselves that they feel the need to take it out on others, or seek out any contact they can for fear, intense dislike or even incapability of being alone. The ones who try to disguise their actions with petty lighthearted denials but in reality know their actions are quite transparent. The ones who really aren't even really worth my time so that's enough about that. I'm not going to focus on the miserableness that is your life when I have one of my own that really isn't all that bad. If anything, these past few days have made me grateful for the amazing friends I have that are here for me, helping me get through this, listening to me complain and try to work through my thoughts. They are the people that matter. Ashley, you know you helped me an indescribable amount through just one simple conversation, and you know I love you to death.
When all of this first happened Justin invited me over for food, Mean Girls, and snuggling with him and James. I owe Sanoe so much for every time she has been there for me and every time she's let me stay at her place, no questions asked. I enjoyed sitting around watching the craziness unfold, the place always full of people and laughter. Mostly everyone left for Utah though, and I was kindly informed by Michelle that I would have to leave or watch where I was going unless I wanted to walk in on something that might scar me for life. I suggested up drawing up a schedule she could tape to the fridge to let me know where and when, but she brought up the problem of what was to happen if they were doing it in there when I went in to check the schedule. In the end I locked myself in the guest bedroom with Roberto Padapuppyman. That is his given name but he still needs a more doglike nickname. Suggestions are welcome.
I miss you.