My worst day ever..
Dear Journal,
Today was one of the worst days of my life. I found out that natalie cant have her baby because there isnt enough fluid or something..idk...She has to go to the hospital on thursday to be put on a drug to go threw labor and have the baby come out..then that will be the end of it...no more baby..they said they wanted to try again later or real soon. I just hope it works this time...cuz my dad said if its what he thinks it is then there is like a 25% chance this could happen again...and i dont think we could go threw this again. I know i cant. I mean why would god choose to do something like this to ppl who want a child more then anything. I mean a stupid teenager could have unprotected sex and get pregnant and have a sucessful birth where as my parents try and they get this. I just dont get why something like this would happen. It sucks.
I just want my parents to be happy. and i know i wanted this baby more than anything. A little brother or sister would be the best thing but no.....I mean i have grown up as the baby in the family and just having somebody look up to me the way i looked up to my brothers would be incredible. Careing for someone else and haveing their life in my hands would be a huge responsibility but i was ready for it. I was ready for everything.
My grandfather was on the phone with my dad was started crying. He had to hang up. Cuz if it was a girl its middle name would be Sylvia after my grandmother. and i think that just upset him...I just hope that the next time they try for something like this it works. And i can finally have my little sibling. Thats all i want at this point. And that my parents will be ok.
I offered not to go to camp and stay at home to be with them but they wouldnt let me. They thought that it wouldnt help and natalie said it would just make her feel guilty. and as much as i want to go to camp i would sill stay home and comfort her in any way possible...but i guess i have to go and i should just be thankful that this wasnt the worse it could have been.
Sincerly,
Ashley
Today was one of the worst days of my life. I found out that natalie cant have her baby because there isnt enough fluid or something..idk...She has to go to the hospital on thursday to be put on a drug to go threw labor and have the baby come out..then that will be the end of it...no more baby..they said they wanted to try again later or real soon. I just hope it works this time...cuz my dad said if its what he thinks it is then there is like a 25% chance this could happen again...and i dont think we could go threw this again. I know i cant. I mean why would god choose to do something like this to ppl who want a child more then anything. I mean a stupid teenager could have unprotected sex and get pregnant and have a sucessful birth where as my parents try and they get this. I just dont get why something like this would happen. It sucks.
I just want my parents to be happy. and i know i wanted this baby more than anything. A little brother or sister would be the best thing but no.....I mean i have grown up as the baby in the family and just having somebody look up to me the way i looked up to my brothers would be incredible. Careing for someone else and haveing their life in my hands would be a huge responsibility but i was ready for it. I was ready for everything.
My grandfather was on the phone with my dad was started crying. He had to hang up. Cuz if it was a girl its middle name would be Sylvia after my grandmother. and i think that just upset him...I just hope that the next time they try for something like this it works. And i can finally have my little sibling. Thats all i want at this point. And that my parents will be ok.
I offered not to go to camp and stay at home to be with them but they wouldnt let me. They thought that it wouldnt help and natalie said it would just make her feel guilty. and as much as i want to go to camp i would sill stay home and comfort her in any way possible...but i guess i have to go and i should just be thankful that this wasnt the worse it could have been.
Sincerly,
Ashley