I Screamed your name into the sunset tonight

[ashlet17]

i cried so hard.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.
i can't hear her voice anymore.

i saw this show tonight. it was kinda sci fi. so in in, this girl was talking to her deceased girlfiend through another... she said i miss you so much. it's like a hole and it's not going away. and then her girlfriend said back. you're still here, you're strong, like an amazon.

not that the whole amazon thing applies. but she used to tell me i was so strong. she used to say how much stronger i was than her. she told me how i saved her life one time. she said it. and i can't fucking hear her voice anymore. i had to listen to a fucking song to hear it. she and i talked about me coming to visit her. i was going to visit her in october. and she was gone by then. i can't fucking take it right now.

it is just way too much. i can't hear her voice anymore. i can't hear it.

please dont let me forget her ever.
she was so much better than me.
much better than anyone. so much better than this world.
i just want to fucking hear her voice telling me i'm strong.
i feel like i can't be stong without her saying it.
when her voice said it i believed it.
i knew i could be strong for her when she said it.
i was strong at her funeral. i cried but it didn't hurt like this.

she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.
she's really gone.

i miss you so much baby girl.
i found some friends. some boys that i just chill with. and they call me baby girl. i can't help but think of you. you're so the end of the world to me. jackie's been there for me. i'm alright. but i worry about hillary because i can't be there for her the way i want to. i can't do it because i just cry and that's so not helpful to her. i cried so hard tonight. my whole body felt it. i knew you were here. i know you were here. you were with me tonight. go to hillary and be with her. i know you visit her often. in her dreams where it counts. i know you hold her close and tell her it's alright. and that's how it should be. the only reason i was strong was because you told me i was. you told me. you told me how i was like you wanted to be, how you remembered yourself. you said that i reminded you of how you wanted to be, how you used to be and that you were going to work on getting back to that. i can't even see right now because of the tears. i know you're with me. right now, i can feel you. there is no reason for me to be writing this because i know you're here.

this is so intense. i miss you so much right now. i just want to lay in the street and look at the stars right now. that was the best night of my life. laying with you. listening to deftones. looking at the stars. it's in the music. in the lyrics. your soul is still alive. it's alive in hillary and in me because we all, everyone loved you so intensely. i know you're well. i know you visit. i've seen you in my dreams. and you're always happy for me when i see you there. always.

always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.
always and always.