I'm still alive
So as you can see, I never update this. I'm thinking about deleting all the entries and just keeping the account, but I dunno.
Here's a quick update.
--Bryan and I are still not together. I'm more than ready to get back together and he isn't. He isn't being honest with me about how he feels, so I'm left guessing in the dark. He's being immature and quite the asshole, but I was quite the bitch at the beginning of the break and toward the end of our relationship, so I cannot blame him.
--I've been diagnosed with situational depression and am going to start seeing a psychologist soon. NOT a psychiatrist. There's a difference so I'm told. What my family doctor doesn't know is that I'm not telling him everything, and if I did tell him everything (which I won't talk about here) then he would probably change the diagnosis. So, I'm going to save my other problems for the psychologist...and when I do, I'm sure he'll send me to a psychiatrist because my other problems are definitely not "situational".
--I've been trying to make "home" something I can fall back on rather than something I'm afraid of and avoid. Being at my parents' house is really hard for me because *everything* reminds me of Bryan. I've been forcing myself to stay here lately and I've been talking to old friends and trying to resolve conflicts that I left unresolved when I moved out so abruptly. It's been really hard but slowly I'm getting more used to being here and being content with it. And I think that's a good thing.
--I wanted to use my annual vacation up north as a time to sort a lot of things out, but unfortunately that didn't happen. I had a good time regardless and the weather was *amazing* which definitely helped take my mind off the fac that Bryan wasn't there with us. It was hot and sunny every day except for one day, and that one day was okay because I slept all day and just relaxed. It has never been that warm up there in all the 18 years we've been going up there, so that was a nice change. But it's been an exceptionally hot summer here in Michigan anyway, which I definitely love.
--I recently passed my entrance exam to be a service trainer at work, and although I missed the first of three classes cuz I was up north, I'm going to the second one tomorrow, the third one next Tuesday, and going to make up the first one in the meantime. It's not a huge promotion, but better than nothing.
--I'm looking forward to school starting in the fall because I've been really needing something to keep me busy. I'm taking quite a full load in the fall because I'm really focused on getting done with school in 3 years instead of 4. I'm running out of summers to get things done (a government internship or two, and I still have to study abroad) so I figure if I get done early, that gives me a whole year to get that stuff done, rather than trying to cram it into the summers.
That's all I can think of really. If you want full details you can visit my Xanga...you can find the link in my userinfo.
Here's a quick update.
--Bryan and I are still not together. I'm more than ready to get back together and he isn't. He isn't being honest with me about how he feels, so I'm left guessing in the dark. He's being immature and quite the asshole, but I was quite the bitch at the beginning of the break and toward the end of our relationship, so I cannot blame him.
--I've been diagnosed with situational depression and am going to start seeing a psychologist soon. NOT a psychiatrist. There's a difference so I'm told. What my family doctor doesn't know is that I'm not telling him everything, and if I did tell him everything (which I won't talk about here) then he would probably change the diagnosis. So, I'm going to save my other problems for the psychologist...and when I do, I'm sure he'll send me to a psychiatrist because my other problems are definitely not "situational".
--I've been trying to make "home" something I can fall back on rather than something I'm afraid of and avoid. Being at my parents' house is really hard for me because *everything* reminds me of Bryan. I've been forcing myself to stay here lately and I've been talking to old friends and trying to resolve conflicts that I left unresolved when I moved out so abruptly. It's been really hard but slowly I'm getting more used to being here and being content with it. And I think that's a good thing.
--I wanted to use my annual vacation up north as a time to sort a lot of things out, but unfortunately that didn't happen. I had a good time regardless and the weather was *amazing* which definitely helped take my mind off the fac that Bryan wasn't there with us. It was hot and sunny every day except for one day, and that one day was okay because I slept all day and just relaxed. It has never been that warm up there in all the 18 years we've been going up there, so that was a nice change. But it's been an exceptionally hot summer here in Michigan anyway, which I definitely love.
--I recently passed my entrance exam to be a service trainer at work, and although I missed the first of three classes cuz I was up north, I'm going to the second one tomorrow, the third one next Tuesday, and going to make up the first one in the meantime. It's not a huge promotion, but better than nothing.
--I'm looking forward to school starting in the fall because I've been really needing something to keep me busy. I'm taking quite a full load in the fall because I'm really focused on getting done with school in 3 years instead of 4. I'm running out of summers to get things done (a government internship or two, and I still have to study abroad) so I figure if I get done early, that gives me a whole year to get that stuff done, rather than trying to cram it into the summers.
That's all I can think of really. If you want full details you can visit my Xanga...you can find the link in my userinfo.