(no subject)
It's weird. "Clumsy" by Our Lady Peace randomly appeared on my playlist one day and I had such an intense reaction to it that I downloaded a bunch of other songs that I was obsessed with during the mellowdramatic era that was the 90s. In a mad frenzy, I downloaded Bush, Sarah McLaughlan, No Doubt, Weezer (good Weezer), Tonic, Verve Pipe, Silverchair, Live, Chantal Kreviazuk, Matchbox 20, NOW! 2, Dave Matthews Band, Alanis, and Ben Folds Five, practically ANYTHING I was listening to during the 90s. I listened to every song at least twice and was on the brink of tears and/or laughter the entire time. The songs reminded me of sports tournaments, parties, teen club dances, downtown KL in the evening, Legion games, confusing boy wonders, and long phone conversations. I started to feel bitter and deprived. I've been exposed to mind blowing music over the past three plus years, but I'm confident in saying that in four years from now not one song I'm listening to can pull from me the same kind of emotional reaction those old pop songs could, save Cuff the Duke, The Golden Dogs, Tegan and Sara, and certain songs from Favorites for my Favorite. I'm tempted to jump to my usual conclusion that I've become a boring and safe person who does nothing outside of school and is void of the very emotions I valued and cherished in the past, but I have to fight that temptation.
I'm not the wannabe angst ridden teen I once was. The runaway emotions I tried to control (with depressing pop music) four years ago are a different animal than the ones I'm controlling today and my naive and hopeful ideals of the future are, sadly, more in line to reality. Music helps me in a different way today and I'm probably wrong about not connecting to any of it. I realize that once I'm through with school and start turning to a different chapter in my life there will be a ton of songs that will remind me of my apartment, the early years of my relationship with Chad, school friends, and what not. I probably didn't pay too much attention to 90s music at the time either. I just hope that the tunes I'm into now will do more than remind of this moment when I'm sitting in my desk chair five years into the future.
I'm not the wannabe angst ridden teen I once was. The runaway emotions I tried to control (with depressing pop music) four years ago are a different animal than the ones I'm controlling today and my naive and hopeful ideals of the future are, sadly, more in line to reality. Music helps me in a different way today and I'm probably wrong about not connecting to any of it. I realize that once I'm through with school and start turning to a different chapter in my life there will be a ton of songs that will remind me of my apartment, the early years of my relationship with Chad, school friends, and what not. I probably didn't pay too much attention to 90s music at the time either. I just hope that the tunes I'm into now will do more than remind of this moment when I'm sitting in my desk chair five years into the future.