please
I JUST got home. Fucking airlines. First they delayed our flight from 4:30 to 5:30, and changed it from a flight straight from Cali to Portland, so that we had to go to SEATTLE and then come back to Portland. Then when we got to Seattle, at 8:15, with our flight to Portland leaving at 8:30, they told us we had to wait to go on the 9:40 flight to Portland because our luggage could not be transferred in time to the 8:30 flight.
And then when we arrived in Portland, guess what had happened!
OUR LUGGAGE HAD GONE ON THE FLIGHT THEY TOOK US OFF OF
So it had been sitting in the airport for an hour+ before we arrived.
So I HATE airports even more than I originally did.
And like I TOTALLY needed this for today!
Because I found out earlier that Sonea's not having her surgery today like they planned. She MIGHT be having it tomorrow. But it's actually now not the surgery to put the plates in her legs-- it's to see if they can fix the tear in her stomach. Yeah. Apparently she has a tear that the first vets we took her to never caught. And now... just when I thought we were on the road to recovery..
They don't know how bad the tear is.
They don't know if they can even fix it.
Everyone's still confident and gunning for her-- and earlier they said they would have to give her a blood transfusion because she's lost too many red blood cells, but they didn't. They couldn't move her because it hurt her too much, so they changed they're minds and decided since her heart murmurs were going away to not do anything so as to prevent more stress on her.
I get to see her tomorrow morning. I can't shake the worry that it will be my last time.
I am sick with worry, and fear, and rage. I'm either stuffing my face or not eating at all. The only thing that keeps me from dwelling and bawling my eyes out is reading the new Harry Potter book, and when I laugh I feel guilty, like it's betraying her. Like I'm just forgetting her.
And I feel like such a terrible person, because I want to blame someone so badly. I know it's only a matter of time before I start blaming myself, and if she.. if she..
I can't even fathom losing her. Aside from-- actually, no, she really is the only constant in my life right now. I love her. She's my best friend, my baby.
Please, Sonea. Please don't leave me. And anyone-- any higher power that I haven't yet had the faith to start believing in-- please take care of her. Please answer me. Please don't take her away from me.
And then when we arrived in Portland, guess what had happened!
OUR LUGGAGE HAD GONE ON THE FLIGHT THEY TOOK US OFF OF
So it had been sitting in the airport for an hour+ before we arrived.
So I HATE airports even more than I originally did.
And like I TOTALLY needed this for today!
Because I found out earlier that Sonea's not having her surgery today like they planned. She MIGHT be having it tomorrow. But it's actually now not the surgery to put the plates in her legs-- it's to see if they can fix the tear in her stomach. Yeah. Apparently she has a tear that the first vets we took her to never caught. And now... just when I thought we were on the road to recovery..
They don't know how bad the tear is.
They don't know if they can even fix it.
Everyone's still confident and gunning for her-- and earlier they said they would have to give her a blood transfusion because she's lost too many red blood cells, but they didn't. They couldn't move her because it hurt her too much, so they changed they're minds and decided since her heart murmurs were going away to not do anything so as to prevent more stress on her.
I get to see her tomorrow morning. I can't shake the worry that it will be my last time.
I am sick with worry, and fear, and rage. I'm either stuffing my face or not eating at all. The only thing that keeps me from dwelling and bawling my eyes out is reading the new Harry Potter book, and when I laugh I feel guilty, like it's betraying her. Like I'm just forgetting her.
And I feel like such a terrible person, because I want to blame someone so badly. I know it's only a matter of time before I start blaming myself, and if she.. if she..
I can't even fathom losing her. Aside from-- actually, no, she really is the only constant in my life right now. I love her. She's my best friend, my baby.
Please, Sonea. Please don't leave me. And anyone-- any higher power that I haven't yet had the faith to start believing in-- please take care of her. Please answer me. Please don't take her away from me.