A Guide: How to be a Big Brother
Eiel had sisters once upon a time, when the world was unknown and the winds were cold.
They were two pretty girls, blonde like their mother with their father's grey eyes. Astrid was born first, stubborn like her father with her mother's nose and the airs of Frejya herself; Kaia, when she was born, looked the most like her father and used to hang off of Eiel's arm, laughing as he'd swing her around; playful and sweet and the bastard-boy's favourite.
Canutte never liked Eiel spending time with her daughters, but she never stopped him. He was still their brother, even if only by half blood, and Eiel did his damnedest to protect them and take care of them. Everyone in the village knew that Eiel - quick with an axe and just as strong as the biggest farmer - would hurt anyone who so much as looked at Fredrik's daughters the wrong way.
When the village was sacked the first time, Eiel embedded an axe into one attacker's spinal cord and accidentally set the other on fire. Astrid looked at him as if he were a god; Kaia looked at him as if he were a monster.
When Canutte disowned him, and he left the village to its second and final destruction, Eiel felt less like the former and more like the latter.
For centuries, Eiel had no one he would call family. He had loves, and he had friends; people he liked and people he enjoyed. But no family. No surrogate brothers and sisters; no adopted fathers or mothers. He had no family for so long that he forgot what it felt like to have one; he'd think on his godly siblings so far away, probably unaware of his existence. He'd think of Loki's other bastards with longing - but just for a community based in common ground.
So when Dan Moses MacNannen came into his life, Eiel Lokison didn't know what to do.
Nan was a force of nature - but he was just that in a subtler way. He walked into people's lives with a sunny disposition and a smile, full of good intent and well wishes. His eyes were a little sad, and perhaps that was why Eiel let him close as close as he had in the first place. Or maybe it was because he felt something tug him towards the younger trickster.
Maybe it was the way he held himself that whispered he didn't have a family, either.
Whatever it was, Eiel got close - and Nan gripped on tight. Not obnoxiously; he took the demigod's hand in his and grinned up at him a trickster's grin, sharing that much with the man chipped away by time.
At first it was just little things. Nan would sometimes show up on Eiel's walks to or from work, walking with him and chatting with him - getting to know him at a slow and steady pace. Eiel, forever wary, made sure not to tell him too much; because the last time he shared too much, his fiancé ended up trying to knife him.
But that never happened with Nan. Nan just grinned and took what he got, telling him stories - some of it fibbing, and Eiel could sense lies when he heard them. He told enough to know a lie, after all. But they were harmless lies, so the Norwegian did not feel like he was in danger.
Over time, though, Nan just got closer and closer. He learned about some of his favourite movies, or his favourite books. He learned he liked Greek food and Chinese food - the greasy kind that Westerners ate, not the real kind. And so when they went on walks together (as they started to, Nan would drag him to the mall or to a tiny restaurant. Or when Eiel couldn't and wouldn't leave his room because he saw something (and he'd never tell anyone what he saw), the little trickster would plan with Evelyn and the two would make Eiel dinner and spend a day just watching movies with him until he was calm again.
It was one of those nights, Eiel sat on the floor between Nan and Evelyn - the three of them sharing the comforter from his bed. They were watching a movie about family and life and love - and the difficulties all three brought to someone. Evelyn had cried at least once, Nan quiet throughout, and Eiel hadn't bothered to say a word since opening credits.
Suddenly Evelyn stood up, picking up the empty popcorn bowl.
"Want us to pause?"
"No, no - I'm going to wash the dishes for Molly."
Eiel tilted his head, moving to stand up after a moment. "Want help...?"
"Eiel, you stay here. Seriously. I just need some time to myself." The she-'wolf smiled, kissing his cheek and pushing him back down to sit. "Nan, make sure he doesn't do anything silly while I'm away."
"Ma'am yes ma'am!" Nan grinned up at Evelyn, snuggling back against Eiel's side. After a moment, the demigod relaxed enough to wrap an arm around the younger man's shoulders, turning his attention back to the movie.
It was during the credits that Nan finally spoke, half-asleep on Eiel's shoulder and curled against him contently; warm and there and real. Someone Eiel felt he could actually maybe trust - like Molly, or Evelyn... or Larei.
"At leas' it ended 'appily, mm?" he murmured, smiling and looking up at Eiel sleepily. Leaning back against the side of his bed, butt asleep but too comfortable to get up and mess up their arrangement, Eiel shrugged his free shoulder. "Y'didn' t'ink so...?"
"It was alright," Eiel murmured, looking back to the credits and turning down the volume so it was only background noise, "but I think the brother should have reacted differently."
"Not wha' y'would've done?"
"Not at all - your siblings are the most important part of your life. Especially if they're younger. You see these... tiny people, and your father says 'these are your responsibility, too'; you don't just let them go off and do stupid things without a care until the end when it 'counts'. You protect them when you can."
Nan fell quiet, watching him with curiously studious eyes, before sitting up and smiling vaguely.
"Ye're a big brot'er."
Eiel fell silent, eyes widening a little before he drew into himself and smiled bitterly, shaking his head. "I'm no brother - older or younger."
"Tha's not true," Nan insisted, scooting closer and looking at him earnestly; slanted eyes creased in concern. Eiel watched him warily from the corner of his eye, hunching his shoulders as if raising his defenses. "Th'way y'talk about 'ow ye should react t'wha' yer siblings are doin'... tha's 'ow brot'ers talk. Good ones."
"I am not a good brother," Eiel hissed, burying his face in his arms. "I'm the worst brother."
Nan fell silent, and for a moment the air was thick and tense with negativity and self-hatred. Eiel thought he'd forgotten Astrid's proud airs and Kaia's laughing face as she swung from his elbow, but apparently he hadn't. He hadn't and it hurt a lot more than he ever wanted to admit.
His thoughts were broken, however, when Nan seemingly came from nowhere, wrapping his arms around Eiel's waist and pressing his head to his chest just over his heart. He stared down at the little Irishman with the slanted eyes and the heartfelt smile for a moment, unsure of what to do or if he should say anything. Nan took the decision out of his hands, though, squeezing tighter and speaking carefully.
"...I t'ink ye're a wonderful brot'er. An' tha' wha'ever's 'appened in th'past doesn't decide wha' ye are in th'present." He buried his face against his midsection, closing his eyes tight. "...I'd want y'as a big brot'er..."
Those words made Eiel go very still, and for a moment it seemed like he wouldn't react. When Nan caught on to that, he started to pull away - only to be dragged closer as Eiel wrapped the other trickster into a tight hug, hiding his face in Nan's shoulder.
"...you're a weird kid, y'know that?"
Nan grinned, curling closer and saying nothing. After another bout of silence, Eiel spoke up again.
"...I'm okay with that."
They were two pretty girls, blonde like their mother with their father's grey eyes. Astrid was born first, stubborn like her father with her mother's nose and the airs of Frejya herself; Kaia, when she was born, looked the most like her father and used to hang off of Eiel's arm, laughing as he'd swing her around; playful and sweet and the bastard-boy's favourite.
Canutte never liked Eiel spending time with her daughters, but she never stopped him. He was still their brother, even if only by half blood, and Eiel did his damnedest to protect them and take care of them. Everyone in the village knew that Eiel - quick with an axe and just as strong as the biggest farmer - would hurt anyone who so much as looked at Fredrik's daughters the wrong way.
When the village was sacked the first time, Eiel embedded an axe into one attacker's spinal cord and accidentally set the other on fire. Astrid looked at him as if he were a god; Kaia looked at him as if he were a monster.
When Canutte disowned him, and he left the village to its second and final destruction, Eiel felt less like the former and more like the latter.
For centuries, Eiel had no one he would call family. He had loves, and he had friends; people he liked and people he enjoyed. But no family. No surrogate brothers and sisters; no adopted fathers or mothers. He had no family for so long that he forgot what it felt like to have one; he'd think on his godly siblings so far away, probably unaware of his existence. He'd think of Loki's other bastards with longing - but just for a community based in common ground.
So when Dan Moses MacNannen came into his life, Eiel Lokison didn't know what to do.
Nan was a force of nature - but he was just that in a subtler way. He walked into people's lives with a sunny disposition and a smile, full of good intent and well wishes. His eyes were a little sad, and perhaps that was why Eiel let him close as close as he had in the first place. Or maybe it was because he felt something tug him towards the younger trickster.
Maybe it was the way he held himself that whispered he didn't have a family, either.
Whatever it was, Eiel got close - and Nan gripped on tight. Not obnoxiously; he took the demigod's hand in his and grinned up at him a trickster's grin, sharing that much with the man chipped away by time.
At first it was just little things. Nan would sometimes show up on Eiel's walks to or from work, walking with him and chatting with him - getting to know him at a slow and steady pace. Eiel, forever wary, made sure not to tell him too much; because the last time he shared too much, his fiancé ended up trying to knife him.
But that never happened with Nan. Nan just grinned and took what he got, telling him stories - some of it fibbing, and Eiel could sense lies when he heard them. He told enough to know a lie, after all. But they were harmless lies, so the Norwegian did not feel like he was in danger.
Over time, though, Nan just got closer and closer. He learned about some of his favourite movies, or his favourite books. He learned he liked Greek food and Chinese food - the greasy kind that Westerners ate, not the real kind. And so when they went on walks together (as they started to, Nan would drag him to the mall or to a tiny restaurant. Or when Eiel couldn't and wouldn't leave his room because he saw something (and he'd never tell anyone what he saw), the little trickster would plan with Evelyn and the two would make Eiel dinner and spend a day just watching movies with him until he was calm again.
It was one of those nights, Eiel sat on the floor between Nan and Evelyn - the three of them sharing the comforter from his bed. They were watching a movie about family and life and love - and the difficulties all three brought to someone. Evelyn had cried at least once, Nan quiet throughout, and Eiel hadn't bothered to say a word since opening credits.
Suddenly Evelyn stood up, picking up the empty popcorn bowl.
"Want us to pause?"
"No, no - I'm going to wash the dishes for Molly."
Eiel tilted his head, moving to stand up after a moment. "Want help...?"
"Eiel, you stay here. Seriously. I just need some time to myself." The she-'wolf smiled, kissing his cheek and pushing him back down to sit. "Nan, make sure he doesn't do anything silly while I'm away."
"Ma'am yes ma'am!" Nan grinned up at Evelyn, snuggling back against Eiel's side. After a moment, the demigod relaxed enough to wrap an arm around the younger man's shoulders, turning his attention back to the movie.
It was during the credits that Nan finally spoke, half-asleep on Eiel's shoulder and curled against him contently; warm and there and real. Someone Eiel felt he could actually maybe trust - like Molly, or Evelyn... or Larei.
"At leas' it ended 'appily, mm?" he murmured, smiling and looking up at Eiel sleepily. Leaning back against the side of his bed, butt asleep but too comfortable to get up and mess up their arrangement, Eiel shrugged his free shoulder. "Y'didn' t'ink so...?"
"It was alright," Eiel murmured, looking back to the credits and turning down the volume so it was only background noise, "but I think the brother should have reacted differently."
"Not wha' y'would've done?"
"Not at all - your siblings are the most important part of your life. Especially if they're younger. You see these... tiny people, and your father says 'these are your responsibility, too'; you don't just let them go off and do stupid things without a care until the end when it 'counts'. You protect them when you can."
Nan fell quiet, watching him with curiously studious eyes, before sitting up and smiling vaguely.
"Ye're a big brot'er."
Eiel fell silent, eyes widening a little before he drew into himself and smiled bitterly, shaking his head. "I'm no brother - older or younger."
"Tha's not true," Nan insisted, scooting closer and looking at him earnestly; slanted eyes creased in concern. Eiel watched him warily from the corner of his eye, hunching his shoulders as if raising his defenses. "Th'way y'talk about 'ow ye should react t'wha' yer siblings are doin'... tha's 'ow brot'ers talk. Good ones."
"I am not a good brother," Eiel hissed, burying his face in his arms. "I'm the worst brother."
Nan fell silent, and for a moment the air was thick and tense with negativity and self-hatred. Eiel thought he'd forgotten Astrid's proud airs and Kaia's laughing face as she swung from his elbow, but apparently he hadn't. He hadn't and it hurt a lot more than he ever wanted to admit.
His thoughts were broken, however, when Nan seemingly came from nowhere, wrapping his arms around Eiel's waist and pressing his head to his chest just over his heart. He stared down at the little Irishman with the slanted eyes and the heartfelt smile for a moment, unsure of what to do or if he should say anything. Nan took the decision out of his hands, though, squeezing tighter and speaking carefully.
"...I t'ink ye're a wonderful brot'er. An' tha' wha'ever's 'appened in th'past doesn't decide wha' ye are in th'present." He buried his face against his midsection, closing his eyes tight. "...I'd want y'as a big brot'er..."
Those words made Eiel go very still, and for a moment it seemed like he wouldn't react. When Nan caught on to that, he started to pull away - only to be dragged closer as Eiel wrapped the other trickster into a tight hug, hiding his face in Nan's shoulder.
"...you're a weird kid, y'know that?"
Nan grinned, curling closer and saying nothing. After another bout of silence, Eiel spoke up again.
"...I'm okay with that."