Why?
Why is it that this bed that seemed so crowded for the past two weeks. The one that was so uncomfortable at times with Ash and I both sleeping in ackward postions why is it that I can only sleep the way I was when she was here on my side at the edge? Why is it so hard and uncomfortable for me to stretch out on my bed and be at one with myself. Why do I keep on crying no matter how many time I have tried to stop. Why does the most dumb things remind me of her? I want her back now. I can't fucking wait till april till I move there. I wish it was april now. Fuck my birthday next month. I want my girl now here with me of me being with her. No matter where I am as long i have her hand in mine. I feel so comfortable when I am with her. She does something to me that no one else ever can. I don't feel like I am a big guy with her. I feel like i am a normal person and I think and hope she feels the same way. I can't wait till she calls me hopefully it will be soon. I can't wait to hear Ryan I landed. Hell even though it will be in Chicago I atleast get to know she is safe and with her family. God wow I need to go lay down for a while. Glad I called work today and told them I wont be back 2marro i will be in thursday. I am in no shape to be in work 2marrow I need the day to release it all and get back in to what I like to call "Without Ash Mode"