Fic: Photoshopped
Title: Photoshopped
Genre: Humor
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,000++
Disclaimer: RPF Standard disclaimer applies
Summary: The story after and (fictional) truth behind the Akame AnAn photos
A/N: It's not much but I wrote it so I might as well post it. Of course, I have to join the AnAn photoshoot bandwagon XD.
"That's some great tongue action, Kame," Tanaka Koki said, watching the screen on the laptop on his lap.
Kamenashi Kazuya, sitting beside Koki, was pleased. "Yeah? You think so?"
"Totally!" agreed Taguchi Junnosuke. He sitting on the couch armrest beside Koki.
"Mine, too, right?" asked Akanishi Jin, who was sitting on Kazuya's lap.
Before Koki could answer, the door flew open. An old man appeared and, though he was small, he looked menacing.
Kazuya slammed shut the laptop and ejected Jin from his lap. Koki tried to groan as he pulled out his fingers caught in the laptop. Jin sprawled face-down on the floor.
Junno, knowing when to use his height, immediately stood up and stepped in front of the old man. "Ohayo, Johnny-san!" he greeted, smiling from ear to ear.
The old man sidestepped the tall cheerful idol. He briefly glanced at the wincing Koki then his eyes landed on Jin, who was down on all fours.
"There!" Jin exclaimed. He made quite a motion of picking up something invisible on the floor and placing it on his eye. "Contacts," he said, blinking at the old man.
Johnny looked at Jin like the young man was a total idiot. He looked at Kazuya. Kazuya pressed himself against the couch, praying the cushioned seat would devour him whole.
But before Johnny could say anything, the door flew open again. Everyone in the room turned to see Nakamaru Yuichi bouncing in and flashing his mobile phone. "Hey, Akame! Look at my new wallpa..." Maru abruptly stopped and the color on his face drained when he saw the old man. "Johnny-san," he said then cleared his throat because his voice was squeaky.
"You have a new what?" the old man asked.
Maru looked at his band mates - all glaring at him - then back at the old man. He raised the plastic bag he was holding in his other hand while, with the other hand, he surreptitiously slipped his phone inside his jeans' back pocket. "Conditioner. I bought one recently but it died." Johnny frowned at him. "Hit and run. It was very sad," continued Maru. The old man looked at him like he was insane.
Ueda Tatsuya came in and bumped into Maru. "Damn server! It took forever to upload the photos!" His steps faltered when he got pass Maru and saw the old man. "Oh. Ohayo, Johhnny-san."
"What photos?" Johnny asked. Everyone held their breath.
"What photos?" Ueda asked back.
"You said you uploaded photos. What photos?"
Without batting an eyelash, Ueda said, "I didn't say photos. I said songs. I uploaded my new songs."
"He said songs, Johnny-san. Not photos," Koki interjected. "He said songs, right, guys?" Everyone nodded and muttered the word "songs."
Ueda looked at Johnny like the old man was senile.
Johnny turned towards Jin who was still on the floor. "You do know it cost me a fortune to set up that photo shoot, right, Akanishi?"
Jin nodded.
"And you do know how pissed I get when you boys do something stupid and ruin my plans, right, Akanishi?"
Jin nodded again while his mind screamed, "No! Not LA again!"
Johnny turned towards Kazuya. "You know I expect you to be the smart one here, right, Kamenashi?"
Kazuya nodded.
"And you're a good boy and you won't lie to me, right, Kamenashi?"
Kazuya nodded again while his mind cried, "No! Not LA again!"
Johnny stared at Kazuya, probing the young man's eyes. In a very somber voice, he then asked," Is it real?"
Kazuya held the old man's stare. Without hesitation, he said,"It's photo manipulations." Johnny's eyes narrowed. "I swear, it was photoshopped. You know fan girls and their high-tech fingers."
The staring match between Johnny and Kazuya continued for several more seconds. Then the old man shifted his gaze, staring at each band member's eyes. He ended with Ueda who, in response, raised an insolent eyebrow. Without another word, he turned and left the room.
"Jesus god!" Koki exclaimed as soon as the door closed. Like him, everyone else heaved a sigh of relief.
"Whew! You lie so well, Kame," Junno said as he crashed on the couch.
"I didn't lie," Kazuya said. "It was photoshopped." Everyone looked at him in disbelief.
"It is not photoshopped. We were all there, remember?" Junno insisted.
Indeed, they were all there at Jin's AnAn photo shoot. Supposedly to lend him support but, in fact, to make fun of him (they were all snickering at the sidelines during - what they now term - butt shot). But before the shoot, Jin was very nervous. Kazuya - sly as always - volunteered to rehearse Jin. Maru took pictures of the rehearsal while the rest stood guard.
"I wasn't lying." Kazuya went on to explain. "My skin was bad that day, I remember. But my skin was flawless in that pic. So, technically, it was really photoshopped." The youngest band member beamed, proud of his cunning.
Everyone considered then nodded in agreement. Except for Ueda, who had been deep in thought. "I didn't photoshop it," he said. "I don't know what the hell photoshop is."
Koki opened the laptop and looked at the photo on the screen. Maru took a peek then exclaimed, "Whoa!" He looked at his phone's wallpaper then back at the laptop screen. "That's not what I sent to Tat-chan to upload."
Koki took Maru's phone and studied it. The photo on the laptop screen was similar - same setting, same posing. But the angle was different. And Maru's shot was awful - dark and blurry.
Ueda looked at the laptop's screen. "That's not what I sent." Everyone looked at him. "And I just e-mailed it, right? So how could Johnny...?" He trailed off.
Everyone was stricken silent as chill went up their spines.
♥♥♥♥♥♥
Johnny swiveled on his chair. He pushed the buttons on his phone then admired the scene of the city his glass-walled office offered him. "Good job. Your check is in the mail," he said as soon as the other end of his call picked up.
"Thanks. You're a sly one, Johnny-san."
"That's why I'm Johnny. I'll call you again." The old man ended the call. He swiveled back to face his desk. "Photo-shopped... fan girls...Hah!" A self-satisfied smile spread on his face as he admired his desktop's new wallpaper.
The End
[A/N: Acknowledgements: Of course to only_akame for posting the now famous Akame AnAn photos and spaarklingwine for our exchange of comments re Akame photos, photoshop and Johnny. Re Maru and the death of his conditioner, I owe to
wooden_buttons . Thank you.]
Genre: Humor
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,000++
Disclaimer: RPF Standard disclaimer applies
Summary: The story after and (fictional) truth behind the Akame AnAn photos
A/N: It's not much but I wrote it so I might as well post it. Of course, I have to join the AnAn photoshoot bandwagon XD.
"That's some great tongue action, Kame," Tanaka Koki said, watching the screen on the laptop on his lap.
Kamenashi Kazuya, sitting beside Koki, was pleased. "Yeah? You think so?"
"Totally!" agreed Taguchi Junnosuke. He sitting on the couch armrest beside Koki.
"Mine, too, right?" asked Akanishi Jin, who was sitting on Kazuya's lap.
Before Koki could answer, the door flew open. An old man appeared and, though he was small, he looked menacing.
Kazuya slammed shut the laptop and ejected Jin from his lap. Koki tried to groan as he pulled out his fingers caught in the laptop. Jin sprawled face-down on the floor.
Junno, knowing when to use his height, immediately stood up and stepped in front of the old man. "Ohayo, Johnny-san!" he greeted, smiling from ear to ear.
The old man sidestepped the tall cheerful idol. He briefly glanced at the wincing Koki then his eyes landed on Jin, who was down on all fours.
"There!" Jin exclaimed. He made quite a motion of picking up something invisible on the floor and placing it on his eye. "Contacts," he said, blinking at the old man.
Johnny looked at Jin like the young man was a total idiot. He looked at Kazuya. Kazuya pressed himself against the couch, praying the cushioned seat would devour him whole.
But before Johnny could say anything, the door flew open again. Everyone in the room turned to see Nakamaru Yuichi bouncing in and flashing his mobile phone. "Hey, Akame! Look at my new wallpa..." Maru abruptly stopped and the color on his face drained when he saw the old man. "Johnny-san," he said then cleared his throat because his voice was squeaky.
"You have a new what?" the old man asked.
Maru looked at his band mates - all glaring at him - then back at the old man. He raised the plastic bag he was holding in his other hand while, with the other hand, he surreptitiously slipped his phone inside his jeans' back pocket. "Conditioner. I bought one recently but it died." Johnny frowned at him. "Hit and run. It was very sad," continued Maru. The old man looked at him like he was insane.
Ueda Tatsuya came in and bumped into Maru. "Damn server! It took forever to upload the photos!" His steps faltered when he got pass Maru and saw the old man. "Oh. Ohayo, Johhnny-san."
"What photos?" Johnny asked. Everyone held their breath.
"What photos?" Ueda asked back.
"You said you uploaded photos. What photos?"
Without batting an eyelash, Ueda said, "I didn't say photos. I said songs. I uploaded my new songs."
"He said songs, Johnny-san. Not photos," Koki interjected. "He said songs, right, guys?" Everyone nodded and muttered the word "songs."
Ueda looked at Johnny like the old man was senile.
Johnny turned towards Jin who was still on the floor. "You do know it cost me a fortune to set up that photo shoot, right, Akanishi?"
Jin nodded.
"And you do know how pissed I get when you boys do something stupid and ruin my plans, right, Akanishi?"
Jin nodded again while his mind screamed, "No! Not LA again!"
Johnny turned towards Kazuya. "You know I expect you to be the smart one here, right, Kamenashi?"
Kazuya nodded.
"And you're a good boy and you won't lie to me, right, Kamenashi?"
Kazuya nodded again while his mind cried, "No! Not LA again!"
Johnny stared at Kazuya, probing the young man's eyes. In a very somber voice, he then asked," Is it real?"
Kazuya held the old man's stare. Without hesitation, he said,"It's photo manipulations." Johnny's eyes narrowed. "I swear, it was photoshopped. You know fan girls and their high-tech fingers."
The staring match between Johnny and Kazuya continued for several more seconds. Then the old man shifted his gaze, staring at each band member's eyes. He ended with Ueda who, in response, raised an insolent eyebrow. Without another word, he turned and left the room.
"Jesus god!" Koki exclaimed as soon as the door closed. Like him, everyone else heaved a sigh of relief.
"Whew! You lie so well, Kame," Junno said as he crashed on the couch.
"I didn't lie," Kazuya said. "It was photoshopped." Everyone looked at him in disbelief.
"It is not photoshopped. We were all there, remember?" Junno insisted.
Indeed, they were all there at Jin's AnAn photo shoot. Supposedly to lend him support but, in fact, to make fun of him (they were all snickering at the sidelines during - what they now term - butt shot). But before the shoot, Jin was very nervous. Kazuya - sly as always - volunteered to rehearse Jin. Maru took pictures of the rehearsal while the rest stood guard.
"I wasn't lying." Kazuya went on to explain. "My skin was bad that day, I remember. But my skin was flawless in that pic. So, technically, it was really photoshopped." The youngest band member beamed, proud of his cunning.
Everyone considered then nodded in agreement. Except for Ueda, who had been deep in thought. "I didn't photoshop it," he said. "I don't know what the hell photoshop is."
Koki opened the laptop and looked at the photo on the screen. Maru took a peek then exclaimed, "Whoa!" He looked at his phone's wallpaper then back at the laptop screen. "That's not what I sent to Tat-chan to upload."
Koki took Maru's phone and studied it. The photo on the laptop screen was similar - same setting, same posing. But the angle was different. And Maru's shot was awful - dark and blurry.
Ueda looked at the laptop's screen. "That's not what I sent." Everyone looked at him. "And I just e-mailed it, right? So how could Johnny...?" He trailed off.
Everyone was stricken silent as chill went up their spines.
♥♥♥♥♥♥
Johnny swiveled on his chair. He pushed the buttons on his phone then admired the scene of the city his glass-walled office offered him. "Good job. Your check is in the mail," he said as soon as the other end of his call picked up.
"Thanks. You're a sly one, Johnny-san."
"That's why I'm Johnny. I'll call you again." The old man ended the call. He swiveled back to face his desk. "Photo-shopped... fan girls...Hah!" A self-satisfied smile spread on his face as he admired his desktop's new wallpaper.
The End
[A/N: Acknowledgements: Of course to only_akame for posting the now famous Akame AnAn photos and spaarklingwine for our exchange of comments re Akame photos, photoshop and Johnny. Re Maru and the death of his conditioner, I owe to
wooden_buttons . Thank you.]