Learning Unoffiical Epilogue
I went to the trouble of making a live journal, so there really should be something here... there needs to be some kind of reward for bothering to check this out. Thus, I've decided to post an "unoffiical epilogue" of sorts that I once wrote for my Naruto fanfic Learning. At one point, I had planned to write a sequel to Learning... My idea was to write each chapter from a different character's perspective on Naruto and Hinata's relationship set in different points of their lives. However, Naruto manga went to crap and really killed my enthusiasm to write any other fanfics from the series.
However, I did write this...
Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto anime or manga. This became very AU while I was writing it, because at least one character who appears in this story dies in canon. This is also a sequel to my fanfic Learning which I recommend reading before this one. Finally, this is set in the future, roughly about four years after Learning.
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Prologue:
LESSON ZERO
Kakashi Knows His Priorities
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Kakashi was a man who had his priorities straight.
Younger shinobis wasted away their free hours, struggling to find the meaning of matters like life and love but all a man truly needed was a jug of sake, some snacks, and the best damn dirty books ever written.
Kakashi sighed and took a moment to sniff the crisp new pages of Icha Icha Forbidden Love.
Ah, sweet, sweet porno.
As Kakashi settled down into his favorite lounge chair to discover what new and inventive ways one could find for a feather duster, an edible forehead protector, and a bathtub full of pudding there was a knock at his door.
Kakashi opened the heaven sent square book (may Jiraiya-sama live for a hundred years) and preceded to ignore the fool who dared interrupt his happy happy porn time.
The knock came again.
Did the fool not know it was happy happy new porn day? His colleagues knew not to disturb him. His students had been informed not to disturb him. He had put a sign on his door that he was reading porno today and that was usually enough to keep anyone from knocking on his door (or bothering him at all for days)… Didn’t they know that porno day could not be denied?
Only an idiot would disturb him today.
“Kakashi-sensei! Please open the door!”
Ah. It was Naruto.
Close enough.
“Please Kakashi open the door! FOR THE LOVE OF RAMEN OPEN THE DOOR!”
For the love of ramen, huh? It must be an emergency.
Kakashi shrugged and opened his front door. If the village was being attacked or something, he supposed he’d have to kill whatever army was invading before he could go back to his book.
Naruto stood in front of him, wearing only bright orange boxer shorts, red faced, and gasping for breathe. “You’ve got to hide me! Quick! Please!”
Hmm. Interesting.
Kakashi stepped aside and Naruto desperately jumped into his apartment, ran toward a closet and slammed the door.
Indeed, he wasn’t disappointed as a small army of eight Hyugas, including the young jounin Neji, leaped onto his front stoop.
“WHERE IS THE BASTARD?” one of them, said. Really, Kakashi didn’t care enough to know his name.
“Hmmmmm?”
“We know you’re hiding him!” said another, who Kakashi also didn’t give a damn to know by name.
“You know who!” said a third guy, who was bulgy around the middle so Kakashi decided to name him Chunky in his head.
“Who?”
“NARUTO UZUMAKI!” Chunky screamed, spitting a bit when he talked.
Honestly, you go to the trouble of naming a guy in your head and he goes and spits on you? How terribly rude.
“Yes. I know Naruto.” Kakashi grinned and pretended to look like he was trying very hard to look innocent even though in reality he wasn’t trying very hard at all. It was a jounin level skill.
“Tell us where you’re hiding the bastard! He was caught in Hinata-sama’s room this morning and we demand retribution!” Chunky waved his fist in the air.
Kakashi blinked.
Whoa. It was indeed porn day. For when he was denied porno, the porn came to him.
God was kind and great.
A Hyuga at the front of the hoard began to step forward into his apartment. Swiftly like the wind, Kakashi stepped forward to block his path. Many Hyuga feet would leave dirt all over his carpet and damn it, it was porno day not vacuum cleaning day.
“Let us in!” growled Chunky again.
So Naruto was shacking up with the Hyuuga girl from team eight? Ah, they grow up so fast. It felt like just the other day Naruto was pretending to be a naked woman to distract him… actually it was the other day. Huh.
Kakashi wondered how that factored into their relationship.
If God was TRULY kind, Jiraiya-sama would be inspired.
“Let us in or we’ll-“
Kakashi let just a little bit of his aggravation of being denied the festivities of porno day show on his face. All of the hoard except Neji, cringed and stepped back. NO ONE brings negative vibes into his house on porno day. “Oh? You’ll what?”
Kakashi sighed. It was sad that there were such uptight people such as these in Konoha. They were so bad-tempered, that they could never truly enjoy the wonder that was porno day. It was tragic. Besides, it wasn’t as if the two had eloped or anything.
“You must let us in Kakashi-san.” Neji stepped forward. “The two have made a very ill advised decision and eloped without our knowledge.”
Well, a marriage could be annulled if the situation went bad. It wasn’t as if he had knocked her up.
Chunky put his head in his hands. “How dare that bastard defile Hinata-sama with his spawn!”
Cool, porn with consequences.
Porno day was defying all of his expectations this year.
“Shhh! Quiet you fool! This is not business we should discuss with outsiders!” said a guy with glasses. Kakashi was tempted to name him, “Mr. Glasses”.
Kakashi struggled with himself. He must not… laugh… out… loud…
Oh what the hell. Porno day only comes around once a year.
Chunky gasped. “Are you LAUGHING?”
“If I say no will you leave?” Kakashi was becoming bored. That was the only draw back of porno day. Too many festivities and it wasn’t fun anymore and turned into work… and sometimes you started to get chafed.
But even if it was the most special day of the year, even if the cover of his new precious book gleamed like the backside of a nude supermodel, it was his duty to protect his student. It was desperate times like these when you need to know what’s important in life-
“Tell us where he is.” Neji held up an explosive tag. “Or we’ll burn all of your dirty books.”
“He’s in the closet.”
Neji swiftly bounded toward the closet, violently yanked Kakashi’s student out, and dragged him from the closet to the waiting mob…
“KAKASHI-SENSEI YOU BASATARD!” Naruto kicked and screamed obscenities as he dragged off into the night.
Kakashi shrugged, sat back down on his comfy lounge chair next to his sake bottle, and opened up Icha Icha: Forbidden Love.
Love really was sweeter, when it was forbidden.
Porno day… It was truly the best day of the year.
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