Jan 18, 2004 12:46
I haven't posted anything in a little while (if anyone has even noticed). I'm feeling super emotional today, so here I am...sharing myself with who ever is listening. I guess I'm hurt by the confusion you have left me with. It eats away at me every day that my questions go unanswered. And I have come to realize that they will probably remain unanswered, because that isn't your style. I was going to leave you an anonymous comment, but I thought screw that, I'll post it instead. That way, I don't have to deal with the repercussions of your dedicated fan club.
i hate boys named adam earnest lee and you should too.
he held my heart in his hands and broke it without a second thought. he used to care, once, but now that word is as distant to him as i am. tragic love games.
are you happy that im gone and that this is over? im so unsatisfied. when i think about our end results, my face goes pale...my eyes fill with stupid tears that I hate crying...my hands shake...my brain disconnects from the rest of my body and I'm left feeling...paralyzed by you.
do they fill the void inside of you that i once filled? it feels great when you're so easily replaced.
you made me feel like i was something. that our connection went so much deeper and bigger than we could even imagine possible. and now you make me feel like i should have never existed in the first place. i guess i was a complete idiot for thinking i could get close to you. or maybe you are to blame for giving me the hope of being able to get close to you. either way..it doesn't matter anymore.
if i could take it all back, i wouldn't. im glad i found someone as rare as you are, but disappointed in myself for letting you mean much more to me than i ever meant to you. i loved chasing such a great dream with you. and hate you for ending it all.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
the end.