we got crosses on our eyes for richer for poorer for better for worse
ive lost hope in god. if you wanted to, you could call me an atheist. i guess i was always agnostic before, but i cant for the life of me try and fool myself into believing in god, or a god. organized religion is just ridiculous and i cant take it. my own life is confusing as it is, i dont need to add to it by believing in a corrupt system that has nothing to do with what it preaches and has no logic or reasoning behind it.
ive also lost hope in love. i cant find it and i cant seem to survive it when i can. my heart has blackened over the last few months and i think im at that point where everything is just bad. i cry almost every day and i find more reasons to absolutely loathe the reasons as to why im still in this town and i try and find reasons why im lonely and i keep denying what the truth is, but really, the truth is...i know i have to be undesirable. in more ways than one. stephen knows how i feel. we feel almost exactly the same when it comes to women. i dont know why, as nice of guys as we both are, were still alone. we have managed to evade the one thing we care about most in life (aside from music), and thats love. we search for it, we wait for it, we need it and want it and cant live without it, yet thats what were doing. were living without it because we cant find anybody that feels the same way we feel when it comes to accepting one another, accepting our lifestyles and accepting the fact that we need somebody to be able to understand that, being in thisendswithyou, we wont always be home at night. i dont know why we cant find that one person...you know? all i ask for is music and love. thats all i need. i dont need a fucking god and i dont need drugs or alcohol to help me pretend like i have more than what i actually have.
i just need somebody to need me. im starting to lose this one-sided battle. i dont know how much longer i can fight and still maintain my sanity or keep a realistic grip on reality.
funny how my lament on god is half as long as my lament on love. shows you what i really care about, i guess.
come fix me.
ive also lost hope in love. i cant find it and i cant seem to survive it when i can. my heart has blackened over the last few months and i think im at that point where everything is just bad. i cry almost every day and i find more reasons to absolutely loathe the reasons as to why im still in this town and i try and find reasons why im lonely and i keep denying what the truth is, but really, the truth is...i know i have to be undesirable. in more ways than one. stephen knows how i feel. we feel almost exactly the same when it comes to women. i dont know why, as nice of guys as we both are, were still alone. we have managed to evade the one thing we care about most in life (aside from music), and thats love. we search for it, we wait for it, we need it and want it and cant live without it, yet thats what were doing. were living without it because we cant find anybody that feels the same way we feel when it comes to accepting one another, accepting our lifestyles and accepting the fact that we need somebody to be able to understand that, being in thisendswithyou, we wont always be home at night. i dont know why we cant find that one person...you know? all i ask for is music and love. thats all i need. i dont need a fucking god and i dont need drugs or alcohol to help me pretend like i have more than what i actually have.
i just need somebody to need me. im starting to lose this one-sided battle. i dont know how much longer i can fight and still maintain my sanity or keep a realistic grip on reality.
funny how my lament on god is half as long as my lament on love. shows you what i really care about, i guess.
come fix me.