Anne Hathaway/Jensen Ackles. For
theladyscribe.
DISCLAIMER: Anne and Jensen are their own people with their own relationships and lives. Everything in this little fic is my own invention and involves fictionalized portrayals of Anne and Jensen.
353 words.
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Anne was sick and tired of all the dirty looks she was getting. Okay, okay so she dated Raffaello Follieri for a year. Or four. It's not like he opened with "By the way, I like to pass bad checks and con people out of millions of dollars." Besides, his accent was so yummy. But she was over it--over Raffaello, over accents, over men. Well... mostly over men, because her friends were nudging her toward a nice specimen across the room. Anne squinted--was that Jensen Ackles? No freaking way! Dean Winchester--barely ten feet away from her! Anne could hardly believe her luck. She vaguely remembered that he was friends with Christian Kane, who was friends with her cousin, who had invited her to the party. Who knew Hollywood was so small?
Anne, heeding the not-so-subtle head jerks her friends were giving her, downed the rest of her martini and was casually making her way over to Jensen's side when she heard a familiar voice. Anne turned around to see Raffaello--Raffaello!--standing by the door, trying to sweet talk the doorman into letting him in. With a groan, Anne saw her greasy ex wave and call her name. Why didn't the police just pull a Martha Stewart and give him house arrest? He was so much easier to avoid when he was trapped in his own mansion. Anne turned to Jensen. She tried to say "Hi, I'm Anne. I've seen your TV show and I think it's great. Want to grab a drink?" Unfortunately, the luck that had shown Anne to the same party as Jensen ran out as a passing waiter tripped over the corner of the bar, careened into Anne and sent her crashing directly onto Jensen. His reflexes were fast and he caught her, but not before her lips collided onto his in an impromptu kiss. Anne wished the earth would open up and swallow her, but Jensen didn't seem phased. He was grinning as he set her on her feet.
"Hi," he said, "I'm Jensen. I saw Get Smart and I thought you were great. Want to grab a drink?"
T-Rex (from Dinosaur Comics)/Claire Bennet. For
cruiscin_lan.
DISCLAIMER: This is crack!fic.
250 words.
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T-Rex loved to watch television. He especially loved to watch Heroes, because of all the sexy ladies. His favorite sexy lady was Claire Bennet.
"I'm going to kiss Claire Bennet!" T-Rex said jubulantly. "Because she is very sexy."
"I don't think you understand the way television works, T-Rex," said Dromiceiomimus.
"I don't think YOU understand the way television works!" T-Rex cried. In his anger, T-Rex decided to stomp on a small log cabin. He left the small blue sedan alone. "Why does no one appreciate my love for Claire Bennet?" he sobbed, turning his anger to a more productive use--stomping on a small woman who had decided to take time out of her morning to go for a walk, never knowing the path destiny had chosen for her.
"What Dromiceiomimus means is that Claire Bennet actually doesn't exist," Utahraptor explained patiently. "An actress named Hayden Panettiere reads her lines and acts like Claire."
"That's not nearly as much fun!" T-Rex cried, refusing to believe that his carefully constructed infatuation with Claire Bennet was nothing but lies.
The next day, T-Rex decided to go for a walk. He noticed a girl wearing a cheerleader uniform! "Claire!" he cried, "my friends told me you didn't exist!"
"They were wrong!" Claire said, and pulled T-Rex close for a kiss. "I love you T-Rex," she said. And they lived happily ever after. At least until T-Rex discovered Bones.
"I love Temperance Brennan!" he proclaimed to the world. Dromiceiomimus decided to let it go.
Ron/Hermione. For Emily.
164 words.
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When Hermione was a little girl, she used to imagine what her first kiss would be like. The moon would be full, she decided, and her sweetheart would give her a dozen red roses. He would sweep her into his arms and dip her body back and kiss her soft and sweet. Then they would mount his white horse and return to his kingdom to live happily ever after. Naturally.
When Hermione was a little girl, she never imagined that her first kiss would be with a gangly red-head who was as far from being Prince Charming as she was from being a Damsel in Distress. Hermione wanted to kiss a prince--not her best friend. She wanted to be surrounded by moonlight, not huddled in the snow watching the Shrieking Shack and waiting for something vaguely scary to happen. Hermione never imagined that her first kiss would be wet, nervous and just a little bit slimy.
Hermione never imagined it would be so perfect.