Amazing what a birthday can do to ya...
Wow. I cant beleive this. Im slowly becoming what I told myself Id never be. Theres so many peopl in this county that hate me now, over careless mistakes Ive made and apologized for. Now all this shit has came back and bit me in the ass. Theres a lot of people I want to personally apologize to. This doesnt mean I necessarily love you, I just need to get some things off my lil' mind...
Hannah-Wow, we've kinda started to drift apart. I remember in 6th and 7th grade we'd call eachother on friday and saturday nights and wouldnt hang up until 5 hours later. What happened to that? I havent talked to ya on the phone nowadays for more than 30 minutes. Damn. If I havent been there for you or something Im really sorry. I dont wanna lose your friendship..
Joseph-Damn, I was a pretty crappy girlfriend. Sorry I didnt make a bigger effort to call ya and come see you. Remember that talk we had about first love and how it hurts to let go? I just want you to know that that was probally one of the deepest conversations Ive ever had with someone. <3
Chip-Point blank, Ive just been plain ol' distant lately. I dearly apologize. Youre still one of my best guy friends.
Michael-Yeh yeh, I know....you dont care. This isnt a plee for forgiveness, I just wanted you to know that whatever youve heard Im sorry for and I wish we could just have one last talk. The things I shared with you I never before had shared with anyone. You were the first person I ever talked to about my relationship with my mom, you were the first person I ever loved, and you were the one that changed me.... yes Michael, I changed since you've been gone, in both good and bad ways. Nevertheless, I owe it all to you..the good things that is, the bad things I owe to myself for being the bitch/whore/slut/twat that I am. Even though you only said "I love you" when you were high, I just want you to know that I honestly meant it, from the bottom of my heart. I dont understand whats keeping you from forgiving me, but I accept it. Ive gone thru guys like peanut butter since youve been gone, and I'll continue to do so until I find someone who touches my heart and makes me smile like you did. I'm still waiting for someone who will love me like kittens, and that I'll love like puppies. Good luck with life, Michael...thats all I have left to say.
Eddie-Gah! I havent seen you since like August when you took me home from school. Thanks for coming to my sweet sixteen, its nice to feel the touch of someone who's still the same.....
Chase-What the hell happened to you?
Colin-Baby, whats going on? I havent spoken to you in like 3 days, and when I did it was for like 15 minutes...<33333
Jordan-Hell, you thought I was fucking dead?
God-Im sorry. Ive lied, cheated, questioned your faith, shunned my parents orders, drank, done drugs, skipped church to do ungodly things, you know the rest. You've blessed me so much and this is how I thank you? Ive tried to change, you know I have. I traded Michael's love for another shot at myself, and its only made me worse. Ive got good intentions, but I like to watch myself hurt. Its complicated, but I know you understand. Times running out for me, or so I learned the hard way. Im scared to die God. Im scared to shit death. I pray everynight to bleed, so the disease will go away, but it doesnt. It doesnt come. I was supposed to be a mother, a teacher, a bride...and now thats never gonna happen. Who wants to marry a seedless whore? I wouldnt, and I could name 5 people off the top of my head that wouldnt want to either. I cant sleep again, and my pills have dissapeared and Im broke so I cant buy anymore. Coach Willets gone and Mr More left a long time ago, so theres no one to talk to. Im not the same and I hate it. I hate love, never want to love like I did again. I hate hate hate HATE it! But this is the part where I;ll exchange love for change, and make a promise that if I change you'll give me the love back. And I will change. For only a few days. Then I'll turn back into a whore and lie to ya, and love will slip farther and farther away from me, like always. I'm sorry.
If Ive pissed you off and failed to apologize, Im sirry to you too.
Ashley Michelle Huke
Hannah-Wow, we've kinda started to drift apart. I remember in 6th and 7th grade we'd call eachother on friday and saturday nights and wouldnt hang up until 5 hours later. What happened to that? I havent talked to ya on the phone nowadays for more than 30 minutes. Damn. If I havent been there for you or something Im really sorry. I dont wanna lose your friendship..
Joseph-Damn, I was a pretty crappy girlfriend. Sorry I didnt make a bigger effort to call ya and come see you. Remember that talk we had about first love and how it hurts to let go? I just want you to know that that was probally one of the deepest conversations Ive ever had with someone. <3
Chip-Point blank, Ive just been plain ol' distant lately. I dearly apologize. Youre still one of my best guy friends.
Michael-Yeh yeh, I know....you dont care. This isnt a plee for forgiveness, I just wanted you to know that whatever youve heard Im sorry for and I wish we could just have one last talk. The things I shared with you I never before had shared with anyone. You were the first person I ever talked to about my relationship with my mom, you were the first person I ever loved, and you were the one that changed me.... yes Michael, I changed since you've been gone, in both good and bad ways. Nevertheless, I owe it all to you..the good things that is, the bad things I owe to myself for being the bitch/whore/slut/twat that I am. Even though you only said "I love you" when you were high, I just want you to know that I honestly meant it, from the bottom of my heart. I dont understand whats keeping you from forgiving me, but I accept it. Ive gone thru guys like peanut butter since youve been gone, and I'll continue to do so until I find someone who touches my heart and makes me smile like you did. I'm still waiting for someone who will love me like kittens, and that I'll love like puppies. Good luck with life, Michael...thats all I have left to say.
Eddie-Gah! I havent seen you since like August when you took me home from school. Thanks for coming to my sweet sixteen, its nice to feel the touch of someone who's still the same.....
Chase-What the hell happened to you?
Colin-Baby, whats going on? I havent spoken to you in like 3 days, and when I did it was for like 15 minutes...<33333
Jordan-Hell, you thought I was fucking dead?
God-Im sorry. Ive lied, cheated, questioned your faith, shunned my parents orders, drank, done drugs, skipped church to do ungodly things, you know the rest. You've blessed me so much and this is how I thank you? Ive tried to change, you know I have. I traded Michael's love for another shot at myself, and its only made me worse. Ive got good intentions, but I like to watch myself hurt. Its complicated, but I know you understand. Times running out for me, or so I learned the hard way. Im scared to die God. Im scared to shit death. I pray everynight to bleed, so the disease will go away, but it doesnt. It doesnt come. I was supposed to be a mother, a teacher, a bride...and now thats never gonna happen. Who wants to marry a seedless whore? I wouldnt, and I could name 5 people off the top of my head that wouldnt want to either. I cant sleep again, and my pills have dissapeared and Im broke so I cant buy anymore. Coach Willets gone and Mr More left a long time ago, so theres no one to talk to. Im not the same and I hate it. I hate love, never want to love like I did again. I hate hate hate HATE it! But this is the part where I;ll exchange love for change, and make a promise that if I change you'll give me the love back. And I will change. For only a few days. Then I'll turn back into a whore and lie to ya, and love will slip farther and farther away from me, like always. I'm sorry.
If Ive pissed you off and failed to apologize, Im sirry to you too.
Ashley Michelle Huke