(Untitled)

[ashes_androses]

I don't know why it matters to Roman that I'm "talking shit" about Sam in my journal. Fuck you, Roman. At least I'm not the one stealing shit from people. Fuck you, Sam. At least I can believe in my friends. Fuck you, Aubrey. At least I'm not completely lame. Fuck you, Reno. I thought we were friends. Fuck you.

Much later:
I wrote something earlier

Comments

[hypecase]

Alright. I'm sorry about your cat, but since you decided to include me in the entry, I get a reason to respond, be it bitchy or not.

What am I supposed to do to stay friends with you? Everytime I've made plans with you, you've broken them. I can't control that, and too a point, I don't really want to. I shouldn't have to put so much damn energy into being friends with you.

Don't ever fucking say that I've never stood by you. I stood by you for so much shit, don't say that I've never been there for you. I went through all your shit with Anthony, Spencer, Evan, Vince, Sean. I don't need you to tell me I've been a bad friend. You know me, I don't reach out a lot. If you wanted to contact me, you could have. I'm not too terribly hard to find. You gave up on me. I don't have to feel bad about that.

I really don't want to say Fuck You, because I don't think you deserve it. I think you need a reality check, or maybe a memory check.

I shouldn't have to try to be your friend. I've done that for too long. I can't do it anymore. You wanna be friends? Come to me.

[ashes_androses]

being there for someone doesn't mean changing the subject when they're upset and it doesn't mean listening for two minutes and ignoring everything else. you were there, meaning that you were physically present when i was around spencer, evan, vince and sean. but you know what? you weren't there for anthony. no one was. i know that because i was involved in that personally. you weren't.

reno, you have this problem with being there for someone emotionally because i think you're blocked off for whatever reason or are just trying to not get attached. you were never really present with me, reno. think how you want, i can't care anymore about you.

oh yes and just because you don't reach out that much i'm supposed to do all the fucking work? fuck that, reno. i couldn't be around you last time because of too much work. you know what it's like to get good grades and want to keep them up. i won't compromise my grades because of you. my grades will effect my life longer than you ever will, reno.

you wanna fucking hang out? GIMME A FUCKING DAY. i dunno when you're free. look, i'm busy every fucking wednesday. i'm busy every fucking tuesday. thursdays are good.

to be quite honest, i don't want to be friends with you anymore, but i want to get some shit straightened out.

and what the fuck is this? is everyone enjoying the fucking public hate-gen forum? fuck you, i'll delete this fucking thing as soon as i can fucking figure out how. there you FUCKING go.

lay the fuck off!

[lonetreesoul]

People need to just give up and lay off. accept that people are allowed to feel whatever they do, say how they feel, particularly on their own journal, and not keep adding to the shit. So lay off the gen. We're all almost adults, i would think we were mature enough to learn how to say what we feel without being assholes. There's almost always a better way to say something. Ok, so, since you all decided to declare it open season on gen today. I'm declaring the season closed. LAY OFF, and have a little decency.

Re: lay the fuck off!

[hypecase]

This thing between Gen and I is none of your buisness. Why don't you lay off.

[hypecase]

I didn't change the subject when you were upset. I listened. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like I did, but trust me, I did.

Fine. Don't care about me anymore. If you can just drop a friend like that, maybe it's good I didn't try.

Gen...You've done it more than just in the last few months. You've ditched me many times, now I'm finally telling you that it annoys the fuck out of me. I don't know what to tell you.

I've told you so many times, I'm free anyday. I have commitments, but I was willing to drop them for a day. I guess I didn't mean that much too you.

You don't want to be friends? We haven't been. But if we're not going to figure this crap out, can I have all my shit back? I would really appreciate it.

This isn't a fucking hate-Gen forum. I'm not going to talk about other people, but you brought this conversation from me on yourself. I wasn't not going to respond.

[ashes_androses]

you know what? that is what it fucking seemed like. how fucking unusual.

i can't keep caring about some ice bitch who never really opened up to me. i had attachment to you, but now there's practically nothing holding us together. i guess that's why we failed.

i don't mean to fucking ditch you, reno, sometimes shit just happens. my life isn't exactly as cookie cutter predictable as yours. i can't drop anything, some things i have to do and i don't have a choice. you don't mean enough to me to drop whatever i have to do for a damn day and risk my dad getting pissed and trying to take my mom to court AGAIN. fuck that shit, reno. FUCK that.

you want your shit? i dunno whats yours. come and fucking get it.

from you, yes, this is what i wanted. i'm used to you sitting still and saying nothing when i bare my teeth. it's like the rumor you spread about teddy. at least i could fucking make you feel something.

[hypecase]

You're kidding me right? I never opened up to you? Bullshit. You knew everything about me, and how can you say I didn't have an attachment to you? You remember sophmore year correct? I cared about you so much. Please don't try and tell me I didn't. You're right, now there is nothing holding us together. We've grown too far apart.

Tell me if it's something really major. I always understood about your parents, but you never told me why you decided we weren't hanging out. You just said, we're not hanging out. What am I supposed to think?

Honestly. If we're not really friends, I wouldn't feel comfortable going through your stuff.

You know that rumor wasn't really a rumor. You want me to feel something, I feel everything. I just don't show it to everyone if I can. I'm sorry that I don't like having my emotions readily avaiable.

[ashes_androses]

that's what i mean about being emotionally unattached. it seems like you're avoiding feeling if at all possible. i can't stand that.

[hypecase]

I don't avoid feeling anything possible. I'm a very emotional person, but I really don't like letting everyone in on all my shit. I'm sorry about that. I don't think that's being emotionally unattached, I think it's just dealing with stuff in private.