His name was Steve...
in the dream; my husband's name was Steve. He was still Patrick in mind, body and soul, but his name was Steve.
In this dream, he was my husband...and I wanted him dead.
I was tired of his indifference and lack of communication. Tired of the incompetence and lack of intimacy.
So i was going to kill him.
Only I found out he found out what my schemes were. I saw him outside our home and he was coming around the front.
He had a gun, and he intended to get to me before i could get to him first.
I was very afraid, cause I didn't know how to distract him so I could get to my gun first.
He came in and pointed the revolver at me, and so i talked to him.
I talked him into putting the gun down, and i wasn't going to kill him, etc, etc.
the conversation wasn't too in depth, but it took a while of convincing.
He finally put the gun down. Then I realized I had a tiny, miniature revolver in my sock.
So i took it out. And shot him over and over and over....he wouldn't die.
Then he started to come after me, so I just kept on shooting.
AND finally, either I shot him with his gun or someone else came into the picture and shot him with a bigger gun and he died.
I realized at that point that i would have to stand trial.
And I did.
I left my house to go to the trial and found a huge media circus.
My mom and dad were there. Pat's parents were there.
And all the news stations from everywhere were there.
My mom said she tried to keep her mouth shut about it, but couldn't.
Hence the media.
I went to go sit down by my lawyer, but ended up sitting with the prosecuting side instead.
I think Rick Shroder was the attorney for them.
But they all just stopped talking and looked at me like I was crazy. They pointed me over to my defense attorney and said, "YOU need to sit over there!"
SO I apologized and left. The trial started and I was put on the stand.
The prosecution started asking me questions.
They gave me a list of complaints i had filed against my husband prior to his murder.
THe prosecution asked "So your former husband steve had problems with sharing and such. Did he withhold love from his children?" "No." (apparently we had children in my dream).
"But he withheld emotion from you?"
"Yes...."
then i started thinking. I saw in my mind my husband standing there smiling and laughing and started remembering our good times together. ANd i started telling myself "you don't have this chance anymore. You have no opp. to teach him or show him these things. No opp. to feel him or see him smile...my God, what have yyou DONE!"
And i started sobbing...
it felt SO real. the whole dream did.
Patrick woke me up from my dream and I couldn't calm down.
it was horrible.
In this dream, he was my husband...and I wanted him dead.
I was tired of his indifference and lack of communication. Tired of the incompetence and lack of intimacy.
So i was going to kill him.
Only I found out he found out what my schemes were. I saw him outside our home and he was coming around the front.
He had a gun, and he intended to get to me before i could get to him first.
I was very afraid, cause I didn't know how to distract him so I could get to my gun first.
He came in and pointed the revolver at me, and so i talked to him.
I talked him into putting the gun down, and i wasn't going to kill him, etc, etc.
the conversation wasn't too in depth, but it took a while of convincing.
He finally put the gun down. Then I realized I had a tiny, miniature revolver in my sock.
So i took it out. And shot him over and over and over....he wouldn't die.
Then he started to come after me, so I just kept on shooting.
AND finally, either I shot him with his gun or someone else came into the picture and shot him with a bigger gun and he died.
I realized at that point that i would have to stand trial.
And I did.
I left my house to go to the trial and found a huge media circus.
My mom and dad were there. Pat's parents were there.
And all the news stations from everywhere were there.
My mom said she tried to keep her mouth shut about it, but couldn't.
Hence the media.
I went to go sit down by my lawyer, but ended up sitting with the prosecuting side instead.
I think Rick Shroder was the attorney for them.
But they all just stopped talking and looked at me like I was crazy. They pointed me over to my defense attorney and said, "YOU need to sit over there!"
SO I apologized and left. The trial started and I was put on the stand.
The prosecution started asking me questions.
They gave me a list of complaints i had filed against my husband prior to his murder.
THe prosecution asked "So your former husband steve had problems with sharing and such. Did he withhold love from his children?" "No." (apparently we had children in my dream).
"But he withheld emotion from you?"
"Yes...."
then i started thinking. I saw in my mind my husband standing there smiling and laughing and started remembering our good times together. ANd i started telling myself "you don't have this chance anymore. You have no opp. to teach him or show him these things. No opp. to feel him or see him smile...my God, what have yyou DONE!"
And i started sobbing...
it felt SO real. the whole dream did.
Patrick woke me up from my dream and I couldn't calm down.
it was horrible.