Aliens took over my mind.
Okay, so about an hour ago I was feeling shitty, as in acid refluxy. Anyway, I was so delirious with having been woken up in the middle of a REM cycle (thanks mom) that I decided to be a Scientologist and, for some reason, try to convince myself that I wasn't feeling shitty. Not that this is real Scientology, but hey. I was delirious anyway. By the way, it didn't work, and I fell back on the religion of Zantac.