Face my squirrelly wrath!
This is just...you guys have to read this. Even though this person listens to Christina Aguilera and has absolutely nothing worthwhile to say to anyone over the age of thirteen...anyone who actually takes the time to write this shit down is just the fucking shiz.
There are certain types of people in this world that just piss me off to no end. The type of people who come up to you and ask you for advice, and then when you give them advice they don't take the advice. They just come back to you a week later and they're like (altered tone of voice) “I can't believe how everything turned out so wrong” You wanna no why everything turned out so wrong? Because you didn't take my advice and you're fucking stupid. That's what went wrong, you didn't listen to me. I know all. The other type of person are those insignificant peons, who just have to validate themselves by being in a relationship. You know what! It's pathetic, it's weak minded and you show no inner strength whatsoever. Get over the girlfriend, get over the boyfriend or whatever the fuck your yearning for and live fucking life.
People who stalk their ex-girlfriend particularly piss me off, what the fuck is wrong with these people? Don't you have better things to do with your life than be emotionally attached to someone who hates your guts? Do something with your life, find a hobby. You know... geez... do you know how many video games are out there that you could be playing? At the very least shoot yourself (in a joking tone). Get yourself out of society, nobody wants to deal with a stalker.
Other types of people that I hate; people who ruin your favorite diner, you know the type of person that you’re usually friends with until they go to the diner and start dating a waitress there and then have some kind of wierd rocky relationship and everytime you go to the diner here-after there’s that weird vibe in the air.
People like this, really need food poisoning, I am so sick of these fucking bastards ruining my favorite spots.
Another type of person I particularly hate are those fucking slime-balls with the slick black hair, that usually end up going to bars and shit like that on friday, saturday, sunday night, to see if they can pick up chicks. And all they do is walk around with these fucking stupid velvety shirts with their dumb-ass fat hairy chests exposed to the world, as if they were the sexiest thing on the face on the earth. You know what!, you're a middle aged loser, nobody wants to see your hairy chest. Either; throw yourself in front of traffic or overdose, please!. Nobody wants to hear this bullshit anymore, time for some revaluation of ones life.
I also dislike people who all they do is talk about their problems with their insignificant other... you know what I don't care about your fucking relationship problems, you can just shove them up your ass for all I care! Nobody wants to hear about how your girlfriend doesn't like you or how your boyfriend is ignoring you... Nobody cares! It only pertains to your own little world, which in the grand scheme of things is minute and pathetic and nobody ever really ever wants to hear it. Shut your mouth, choke on your food, and die!
You ever have a good friend and then you go out some place and they always have to bring their fucking girlfriend; and their girlfriend turns out to be somebody you just want to kill... I mean really kill, like jump up and down and kill. And then chop up their body into 15 different parts and flush various parts down the toilet and bury the others and others get thrown in the sewer.
You know the type of person whose parents should have had an abortion before they even walked the earth. You know that kind of crap, these type of fucking pieces of crap really just need to be killed with some piano wire around the throat. I can’t take it anymore.
I also can’t stand people who stay at home and listen to “every rose has it’s thorn” like it’s the world’s most depressing song. 1. The song sucks 2. You’re fucking pathetic for listening to it
Take the CD out crack it in half and then slit your wrist with the broken pieces. It’s over!, they’re done, you’re done, kill yourself.
And in closing, you know it’s shit like this that pisses me off it’s just these types of people that have no “inner soul” no nothing, they just revolve around their own pathetic little world with no consideration for what’s going on around them. They have no sense or grasp of reality and really need to be taken off the face of this earth, they have no substance, they have no control over themselves...
And they really need to be put to sleep...
permanently.
Thank you for listening
Alright, more people that are really fucking pissing me off. Now, for all you people who actually pay attention to the news, there's a bunch of fat bastards who wanted to sue the... McDoogles, you know... the people with the burgers and the stuff like that? Why? Because they were too fat. Far be it from them to admit to themselves, "hey, you know what? I should have stopped after eating 15 burgers." Nope! The fact that they have a fat ass is not their fault, it's McDoogles fault - or whatever fast food restaurant they decided to sue. My problem is, somebody actually considered taking on this case! These fucking lawyers who are like "yeah, you know what? We can sue this restaurant because you're a fat fuck." What are you saying when you're... when you're in front of the judge? "Yes, your honor, I'm a fat bastard and it's all because of this fast food chain." Give me a fucking break. Someone should just stab you in the eyes with a fucking really hot french fry, you fat bastard. Hope you choke on your own fat. Fatty!
Okay, now getting off the topic of fat asses, let's talk about these fucking cell phone mother-fuckers. Dude, put the phone away. You're a fucking self-important little fucking bastard. Nobody is really calling you. It's like, you're walking around, pressing a little button that makes that fake ringing sound. Give me a fucking break! You just want people to think that people are calling you. Nobody is calling you, you're a loser, and you're paying like $70 a month for no reason. Why, what do you need a cell phone for, so... so your mother can call you to pick up groceries on the way home from work? Give me a fucking break, okay? Grow up. If I have to hear another fucking cell phone go off when I'm eating at a diner, or I'm at a movie, I'm gonna fucking rip somebody's head off.
And speaking of diners, is it just me, or are the rest of you really fucking sick of these children with the high-pitched frequency of whining and yelling that just fucking drills itself right into your brain? I, for one, really want the mothers or fathers to just start beating the shit out of these kids until they're fucking silent or go into a coma. I'm so sick trying to eat a burger or something and having this whining kid complaining that he doesn't have ice cream. You know what, he wants ice cream? You lock him in the freezer, keep him there for about six hours, I'm sure he'll have his fill of ice cream. So... he's a little frostbitten and loses a toe or two. Fuck him, fuck the parents, get these whiny fucking bastards out of my diner. Let me eat in peace, you fat bastards.
Now let's talk English language. What I'm speaking here right now is English. I'm tired of fucking picking up a cup of coffee, and having about fifteen different languages telling me that it's hot. Ooh... Caution Muy Caliente, Vorsch Heist! Give me a fucking break! Can't you just put a picture? Look... look. Here's what I did. I came up with a little picture, you see, you put this picture on the side of a cup, a little guy holding a cup of coffee, and he's on fire. That gets the message across. I'm tired of different languages. If you're in France, speak French. When you're in America, you speak English, okay? When my grand-squirrel came to this country, you know what? He had to learn English. You know what you should do? Learn fucking English! I'm so sick of having to whip out an Idiot-to-English dictionary to figure out what the fuck you're trying to say. Just speak plain English, okay? Let me ‘splain to you something, okay? [in a Span-glish accent Spanish/English] Nobody likes to hear the English language get slaughtered? So fucking stop it, okay? Don't make me ask you for your green card. Now that I have alienated all the non-English-speaking people, see now, here's my thing: if they don't speak English and they don't understand the language, would they get offended that I'm telling them that they have to learn English? Huh? Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ohhh! Twisting the brain... ooh!
So in closing, learn how to speak English, you fat bastards, and get off the fucking cell phone. Por Favor. Fucking jackasses.
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