Why am I still awake?
Beowulf (does anyone else share the opinion that Beowulf was an ass?)
Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart (probably one of the most worthless books I have ever read in my life)
Agee, James - A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane - Pride and Prejudice
Baldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot
Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March
Brontë, Charlotte - Jane Eyre (a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful book; story will make you cry)
Brontë, Emily - Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert - The Stranger
Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales
Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard
Chopin, Kate - The Awakening
Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness (another useless book + extreme confusion...although the word "sepulchre" is really fun to say...)
Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans
Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage (I started it, does that count?)
Dante - Inferno
de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe (I like the whole "man against nature b/c he got his ass kicked and has to find some way to survive" theme)
Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment (this man is fuckin' deep...love the concept of the Ubermich. Thank you, Nietzsche!)
Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays
Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby (I managed to avoid this one in high school; HAH to all of you!)
Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust
Golding, William - Lord of the Flies (an impressive story, though very disturbing; I would also recommend the movie to anyone who wants the piss freaked out of them)
Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Hawthorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter (language was a bit flowery, but I enjoyed the story. Hester Prynne kicks ASS!)
Heller, Joseph - Catch-22
Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms
Homer - The Iliad
Homer - The Odyssey (hooray for Wishbone! The only thing I remember reading, and I quote, were the "rosy fingers of dawn" that persisted in popping up, though I know the story)
Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Quasimodo roxxorz my soxxorz off, Esmerelda is a misunderstood beggar, and Phoebus is the biggest dick to ever walk the planet)
Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World
Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House (a bit boring)
James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis
Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird (hooray for Scout and Dill and the coolness of the hermit dude!)
Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt
London, Jack - The Call of the Wild (woot for Jack London, he just fucking rocks; GO BUCK!)
Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude
Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener
Melville, Herman - Moby Dick (I managed to get to the preacher's sermon and started drooling on the book; plus I walked around for two days w/that particular page printed on my forehead, as I did a perfect face plant into the book)
Miller, Arthur - The Crucible
Morrison, Toni - Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George - Animal Farm (I seriously believed that Communism would work after reading this book and that Lenin and Stalin were friggin' geniuses)
Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales (The Pit and the Pendulum...scary)
Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front (like blood much?)
Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye (avoided this one, too)
Shakespeare, William - Hamlet (fuck Shakespeare, we read way too much of him and frankly, I'm not that impressed...although I rather enjoyed it when everyone died at the end)
Shakespeare, William - Macbeth
Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream (I remember for our skit, Puck came in stinking drunk w/a six pack)
Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet (I like romance, but come on, people; get a room!)
Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein
Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles - Antigone
Sophocles - Oedipus Rex (holy crap, dude; this guy had a shitty life)
Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath (HAHA! I avoided ALL of these books required for high school b/c my high school SUCKED! Oh wait, it still does)
Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island (I want to b/c this is a timeless story that should not be missed, as well as "Kidnapped)
Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David - Walden (bits and pieces)
Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace (I got to page 2 and gave up on the names)
Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (unfortunately no)
Voltaire - Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - George Bergeron
Walker, Alice - The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass
Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray
Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie (a very sad story...though William Shatner might have made it a bit more interesting)
Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard - Native Son
~~~
Excuse me for a moment, will you? I smell burning plastic.
@};-