Crossfire, Day 6-Epilogue [Cap/Iron Man Big Bang 2012]
Title: Crossfire
Artists: angelicfoodcake and makowe-pola
Author: ashei
Rating (both art/fic): G for art, PG-13 for fic (cursing and mild violence)
Universe: Iron Man Noir
Word Count: 27,191
Warnings: Animal transformation, big cats, questionable magic
Beta: eschatologies
Art Thumbnail:
Fic Summary: Though both the war and his days of adventuring for Marvels are over, Tony Stark is still looking for a cure to his failing heart. When Nick Fury asks him and Captain America to investigate a newly discovered world dubbed the Savage Land, Tony jumps at the chance, hoping to find something - anything - that'll fix him. But once Tony finds that something, he discovers that it comes at the cost of Steve's humanity - leaving Tony to struggle to turn him back before it's too late.
Link to Art: angelicfoodcake's art and makowe-pola's art
Link to Fic: AO3 | LiveJournal
Prologue-Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6-Epilogue
Day Six
The morning was silent as they continued up the mountain, Tony taking his usual spot on Steve’s back and grabbing onto his fur, his stomach partially filled with something labeled as “fruit bars” but came off as more cardboard-like than anything. Steve hadn’t seemed hungry, even when Tony prodded him about it, so he had to assume that his stomach was still full of raw, possibly-not-entirely-digested deer, no matter how gross that seemed.
The journey was, for the most part, uneventful. Steve was making good time, and though the incline was steadily getting steeper, with the help of glorious aspirin, Tony had no problem holding on as he looked around and tried to take mental notes on everything he was seeing-it was hard to believe, but a part of him was actually feeling guilty. After all, Steve was supposed to be their note taker, but he was hardly in any state to write down anything now, and how else was Fury supposed to know what they were seeing if Tony didn’t record it? Imagine that, he thought. Steve was rubbing off on him.
As Tony had thought earlier, there were indeed pterodactyls, but they were swooping over the plains below, utterly uninterested in whatever was happening on the mountain. Come to think of it, Tony was pretty sure he hadn’t seen a single living soul up here, save for Steve and himself-if he turned around, he could make out some dinosaurs in the distance, and he knew for a fact that there were other sabretooths hanging around somewhere down there. But up here? Nothing. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if this was worrisome or not-less predators, good, but no living creatures at all, bad.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t actually bad. If there weren’t any living creatures on the mountain, then there was probably a good reason for it. Like maybe it slowly poisoned and killed everyone who set foot on it, which would be unfortunate. Or maybe because it was magical.
Honestly, he didn’t know anything. But the cave drawings had suggested that the tallest mountain in the area was a good place to be, and if there was something, anything, that suggested that said cave drawings might actually be true, Tony was going to hang onto it for dear life.
So up they went. Around noon, they found another pond and stopped to rest, Tony sliding right off of Steve and flopping over onto the grass. “Sore,” he croaked, pulling both packs off of Steve and reaching into one to grab a bottle of water. Seriously, riding bareback on a damn sabretooth was never going to be comfortable, no matter how much he did it.
Steve settled down beside him, licking at his paws. Tony turned to look, blinking and raising an eyebrow when he saw just what Steve was doing. “So is that a thing you do now?” he asked. “Licking yourself? Pretty cat-like, isn’t it?” Steve just shrugged, tongue lapping away, so Tony continued, “Alright, so here’s something I’ve been wanting to know. Doesn’t that taste awful? You’re covered in dirt. You’re eating it, basically. How is that okay?”
He received another shrug in reply, so he threw his hands up, then laid back to stare at the clouds. “You’re given a chance to answer the deepest questions about the feline psyche, and all you do is shrug. This is a travesty.”
Again, Steve just shrugged, getting up onto his feet. Tony sat up as well, wondering if they were going to take off again when Steve just walked straight into the pond. “Steve?” he asked. “What are you doing?” He looked like he was just… swimming? “Well, okay,” Tony said, once it was clear that Steve had no intention of answering him. “Just don’t take too long in there, alright? We kind of have a deadline.” With that, he laid back down, going back to staring at the clouds.
He was in the middle of designing some gauntlet upgrades in his head when he abruptly heard a snarl coming from right behind him.
“Jesus!” he gasped, bolting upright and automatically grabbing the pack with the gauntlets, looking around and finding Steve snarling at something behind him, his body still dripping with water. “Steve? Steve, what’s wrong?”
Steve continued to growl, and Tony frowned, looking behind him. There wasn’t much to see-just a couple of trees and rocks. “Do you see something?” he asked, turning back to him. “Because I don’t-”
He realized that Steve was growling at him at the same time a massive paw came swinging at his face.
Cursing, he dodged and rolled out of the way, then hastily reached into his pack and slipped on a gauntlet. “Steve!” he shouted, holding one hand out in front of him protectively before remembering that shit, this was Captain America-he couldn’t just be firing repulsor rays into his face. Still, he kept his hand out anyway, hoping it might serve as a distraction or something. “Steve, snap out of it!”
Unfortunately for Tony, Steve did no such thing, leaping at him again and forcing him to jump off to the side. “Steve!” he repeated, but it didn’t seem to be making any difference.
He forced himself onto his feet, wavering a little as he held his gauntleted hand up again. “I don’t want to have to fire at you,” he told him as they began circling each other slowly. God, was this his life now? Getting into showdowns with national-heroes-turned-extinct-animals? This was probably the last thing he ever wanted. “Really, now. You’re tearing me apart, Steve. Don’t make me cry-it’s not pretty, it really isn’t. So get that wild look out of your eyes and be my friend again, pretty please?”
Somewhat unsurprisingly, his passionate plea went ignored as Steve charged him, and once more Tony had to roll off to the side, narrowly avoiding Steve’s massive paw. “Steve-” he began, but the words died in his mouth as Steve moved as fast as lightning, swiping his paw and tearing a gash into Tony’s arm. “Fuck!” he gasped, instinctively shooting at Steve, eyes squeezing shut at the pain. Damn it, this wasn’t good, not at all.
Steve leapt away from the blast, which gave Tony time to scramble upward again, his free hand clutching at his injured arm. Shit. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t kill Steve. That was an awful idea. But he could hardly let Steve kill him, because that was also an awful idea.
“C’mon,” he tried again, wavering on the spot. “Steve. You’re not a sabretooth. You’re a human and a mighty swell fellow, okay? Making people bleed is bad and so you should stop.”
And of course Steve just had to charge at him once more. Hissing in pain, Tony hauled his ass out of Steve’s way, firing at him again-he hated to do it, but if Steve was anything like that other sabretooth they’d fought, it’d just be an annoyance at worst.
Steve grunted and writhed at the impact, turning long enough for Tony to catch the glint of the shield on his back-right. The shield. That had helped before, hadn’t it, the last time Steve went full sabretooth on him? Maybe it would help now.
He just had to get his hands on it somehow.
Tony aimed another repulsor blast at Steve, firing at his feet rather than his face-Tony wasn’t looking to hurt him, only to distract. Steve grunted, clearly irritated, and turned toward him again. He was going to attempt to stampede him soon, Tony knew. Which was good. It was what he wanted. But damn it, he already knew it was going to hurt like hell.
When Steve came barreling toward him, Tony started running forward as well, leaping up and grabbing hold of a branch above him, even though it made his injured arm feel like it was being ripped right off his shoulder. With that, he managed to swing up over Steve, letting go and landing right on him, though he was facing the wrong way.
He didn’t have much time. Steve bucked, trying to throw him off as he turned and snapped his jaws, his teeth coming dangerously close. Through some miracle, Tony managed to hang on, ignoring the searing pain in his arm as he turned around, grabbing the shield.
A moment later, Tony was flung off, but this time, he had the shield, and so he held it up in front of him protectively with his bad arm, his other hand up to aim the repulsor. God, he hoped this worked. “Hey!” he called, trying to catch Steve’s attention. “Steve. Hey, Steve. Look at me!”
Silence. Tony slowly lowered the shield, looking over the rim. Steve was seated in front of him, looking confused again. When he caught sight of Tony, he quickly padded over to him, blue eyes questioning. “Oh, thank God,” Tony breathed, setting the shield down and wincing when the pain in his arm flared up again. “Jesus. Steve, are you okay?”
Steve’s gaze landed on the gashes in his arm; his eyes widened, and he looked back to Tony, clearly wanting to know where this had come from. “It’s nothing,” Tony said quickly, putting his hand over it, which ended up being a bad idea because one, he was still wearing his gauntlet, and two, now his gauntlet was covered with blood. Great. “Um. If you could grab my bag for me?”
Quickly, Steve turned around, locating the bag after a moment and carrying it back with his teeth. He deposited it at Tony’s feet, then went back to hovering around him, looking anxious. “It’s nothing,” Tony repeated as he fished out a roll of gauze, starting to awkwardly roll it around his arm and watching as the blood started to soak through. This was really not fun.
Steve didn’t look happy, rapping one paw against the ground to catch Tony’s attention. Me? he tapped out.
“Don’t be silly,” Tony said, hissing as he made another loop around his arm with the gauze. “Please don’t hover over me like that, really, I’m not going to spontaneously combust.” He taped the gauze in place at the same time Steve tapped his paw again. Me, he said, this time without the question mark.
Tony sighed. “No, Steve,” he said. “It wasn’t you. It was… it was just some wild sabretooth that temporarily took over. But it’s okay now. You’re back. Nothing to worry about, right?”
Steve looked at him, eyes wide, his gaze flickering between Tony’s own and the mass of gauze wrapped around his arm. Then, without further ado, he opened his mouth.
“Steve, what…?” Tony began, but before he could get any further, Steve lowered his head, nudging at Tony’s hand before opening wide once more. Frowning, Tony looked down, trying to figure out what on earth Steve was trying to tell him.
And that was when he realized Steve was motioning at the hand with the gauntlet still intact.
“Jesus, Steve,” Tony managed weakly, looking back at him. “What the hell are you saying?” Vividly, he remembered shooting twin blasts into that other sabretooth’s mouth, but… “Do you want me to attack you?”
Steve nodded. There was-there was something desperate in his eyes. Desperate and fearful and worried, and it made Tony’s heart ache. “Steve, no,” he said, cautiously reaching up to touch Steve’s head. “Is this because you feel like me getting hurt is your fault? It’s not. Really. And I’m okay. We’re both okay. I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t be like this.”
A minute passed, and then Steve drew back, his mouth closing. “Thank God,” Tony breathed, relieved beyond belief as he let his hand drop. Jesus. Like he was actually ever going to go through with that! “Alright. Give me a moment-”
Before he could say anything more, though, Steve turned around and dashed away, vanishing into the foliage.
For a moment, Tony just stood there, completely frozen. What the hell had just happened? Steve had been here one second, and then in the next he’d just… run off. Why? Because Tony hadn’t agreed to kill him? Because Steve thought if he stuck around, he was just going to hurt him again? Please. Tony had survived much worse. But no, apparently, Steve just had to treat this as much worse than it actually was.
“Fuck,” he announced to the world, because now seemed as good as any to curse.
Grimacing, Tony slung both his and Steve’s packs onto his good shoulder, then picked up the shield, because he’d be damned if he was going to leave any of their stuff behind. Once he was ready to go, he took off, heading in Steve’s general direction-what else could he do? They’d come this far; Tony wasn’t going to abandon him now. But really, damn the man. Damn him. They’d been close, so close, with less than a day to go. And then Steve had to run off.
Slowly, the shadows started to lengthen, and still Tony couldn’t find Steve. There were signs he’d passed by, sure-a paw print here, a paw print there-but Steve himself remained elusive, and though Tony’s arm was throbbing, his heart was faring much worse.
Tony was scared. Just the idea of Steve somewhere out there, all alone as the sun set-it was enough to make his throat go dry, to make his chest constrict painfully. Because once that sun went down, and they weren’t at the top of that mountain, then based on Tony’s best guess, Steve was going to stay a sabretooth. Worse, Tony feared that he was going to stay an actual sabretooth, the kind that wanted to claw Tony’s face off and possibly eat him.
He couldn’t let that happen.
So he kept on looking, ignoring the persistent ache in his arm and the way his heart was pounding in his throat, resolutely downing more aspirin. He’d find Steve, he told himself. He just-he’d find him.
By the time the sun dipped low into the sky, Steve was still missing, but Tony realized with a start that he was very much near the top now. He turned around, looking downward-and goodness, it was a good thing he didn’t fear heights, because seriously, he was high up.
Tony turned back, then looked up, and for the first time he realized that there was something up there. It looked like-it looked like another igloo-thing, maybe. Like the ones he’d seen in the underground city, but bigger. A giant igloo at the top of the mountain. Was this it? Was this where they were supposed to have wound up all along?
Maybe, he thought, just maybe, Steve was already in there.
Steeling himself, Tony dashed up the rest of the way, continuing to ignore the way the gashes in his arm and chest throbbed and ached. He’d deal with the injuries later. Only one thing mattered right now, and that was whether or not Steve was here, and if he wasn’t-if he wasn’t-
It didn’t bear thinking about.
Once he made it to the top, he burst into the igloo-thing, blinking and looking around. This one was different from the others. At the other end was a wide hole, like a window without glass, perfectly positioned so that he could see the setting sun through it. In the middle sat a pedestal with something that looked like-well, a glove, which made so little sense Tony decided not to spend too long dwelling on it. And there, lying in front of the pedestal…
“Steve!” he cried, running over to his side and placing a hand against his side, feeling coarse fur under his skin. “Steve, are you okay? God, you idiot, what did you run away for?”
Steve groaned and turned to look at him, and for a second Tony feared that this wasn’t Steve, it was the mean sabretooth who wanted to eat him. But then their eyes met, and Tony’s worries melted away. This was Steve. He knew it was Steve. “Hey,” he tried again. “You alright?”
A moment passed, and then Steve shook his head slowly, causing Tony’s heart to drop. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but it was actually pretty clear what was wrong. It was almost sunset. If something bad was going to happen to Steve, it was going to happen soon.
Right. Shit. He needed to-to what? Belatedly, he realized he had no idea what they were supposed to do once they got here. A part of him had hoped that they’d haul their asses up here and then everything would be magically okay, but thinking about it, of course it wasn’t going to be that easy. It never was.
“Okay,” Tony said, because he didn’t know what else to do other than say useless words. “Steve. Just-just hang on for a moment longer. I’m going to fix this, alright? I promise.” He looked out the window, at the sun that was still steadily sinking under the horizon. He was running out of time.
Tony reached out, giving Steve’s head one more pat, then straightened to examine the pedestal. It looked like the one from the big igloo in the underground city, but larger and missing the sabretooth drawings. And unlike the other one, this one had not a gem, but a golden glove, its palm facing him. The image of the hand looked vaguely familiar, though he couldn’t quite place it at the moment. Could he wish on the glove? God, it sounded so stupid, but it had worked on the gem, hadn’t it? He’d wished on it, and things had come true. Not in the best of ways, but it’d worked.
He swallowed, reaching forward to touch the glove. “So, uh,” he said awkwardly. “If you could change my friend Steve back into a human, that would be really great. Thanks for your consideration?”
Steve made a faint choking sound from behind him, and Tony quickly turned back, kneeling beside him again. “Steve?” he repeated. Was something happening? Did it work? Never mind the fact that magic was a total crapshoot-Tony was a genius. It had to have worked.
But Steve wasn’t changing back. Tony took a deep breath, reaching out to touch one of Steve’s limbs and trying to reassure himself that this was okay. After all, it hadn’t been immediate last time, either. So he could wait.
And yet-Steve whined suddenly, his body twitching, and Tony jumped backwards from the sudden movement. “Steve,” he said yet again, meeting his eyes, those wonderfully blue Boy Scout eyes of his-but then something changed, and that glint appeared in them again, that feral wildness that Tony had started to associate with bared teeth and extended claws. “No,” he whispered, taking another step backward as he felt fear bubble up in him, seeing the last of the sunlight reflect in his eyes and finding it anything but beautiful. “Steve-Steve, no. This isn’t supposed to happen. We made it. We’re here. You’re not supposed to stay like this.”
He bumped into the pedestal, turning in time to see the golden glove wobble and fall to the floor. Steve’s gaze followed him, and he automatically brought the shield up in response-but somehow, this time Tony wasn’t surprised when it didn’t seem to put him in his right mind again, though it at least seemed to keep him at bay. How long did he have left? Just minutes, surely. Just minutes to figure this out. Just minutes to save Steve’s life.
Not wanting to startle Steve, he crouched down slowly, picking the glove up and turning it in his free hand. Up close like this, it was clear that it wasn’t just a regular glove, but a metallic gauntlet, studded with gems.
One of them was missing.
Breath catching, Tony set the gauntlet down, then reached up to unbutton his shirt, looking at the gem embedded in his chest. This… this was it, he was pretty sure. This was the missing gem. If he took it out of himself and put it in the gauntlet, then it would work. He knew it would work. It was the only thing that made sense.
Of course, if he took it out of himself, he’d be in for a world of pain at the very least, based on that one time he’d plucked it out just to see what would happen. Hell, he’d probably have a heart attack and die. And wasn’t it a shame that he’d worked so hard for so long to find a way to cure himself, only to undo everything just to return Steve to the status quo?
But it didn’t matter. None of that mattered. The only reason they were even in this situation in the first place was because Tony had fucked things up, and if the only way to fix things before they ran out of time was for him to fuck himself up, well, that seemed as good a price to pay as any. After all, their country was recovering from a war. They needed someone like Captain America, like Steve, to guide them. But Tony? He’d done his part. He could-he could rest easy.
“Sorry, Steve,” he said, taking a deep breath and resting his fingers against the gem in his chest. “But you’re much more important to the world than Iron Man.” And he pulled the gem out.
The pain was immediate. His whole body seemed to shudder, and suddenly breathing was much harder than it should be. Still, he managed to grab hold of the gauntlet, pressing the gem into the empty indentation with shaking hands and watching as the whole thing lit up. Then he turned back to look at Steve, who was still regarding him with shining eyes as the last of the sun disappeared from view.
But as much as Tony wanted to stay awake, stay alive, just to make sure that Steve was going to be okay, his body, apparently, was having none of that. He found himself involuntarily collapsing onto the floor, the gauntlet slipping from his limp fingers as his vision went black around the edges.
This was probably the end, but for some reason, all Tony could think about was extending his pinky finger to Steve and swearing to him that he wouldn’t drop dead. That was a stupid promise, he thought to himself. Steve was going to be so disappointed once he went back to normal.
And then everything went dark.
Day Seven
I’m alive.
The morning air was cool as consciousness filtered back to Tony, causing him to curl up a little into himself, shivering. God, what had happened last night? Tony-Tony recalled some things, dimly. Bad things. Things about broken promises and glinting eyes and dying. Things that, upon second thought, were better left forgotten.
But he wasn’t dead, from what he could tell. If his senses could be believed, he was still lying on a stone floor in an igloo-thing at the top of a mountain, covered by a blanket of cold air. That was probably good, he thought, even if all his limbs felt like jelly.
Then he remembered. There was a reason he’d had to go through all of last night’s bullshit. A reason he’d broken a promise and dropped dead, kind of. A very, very good reason.
Steve…
Groaning, he forced himself to open his eyes, looking around. As he’d thought, he was still where he’d collapsed last night. The pedestal was right in front of him, though the gauntlet wasn’t in his line of vision, which was admittedly limited because he couldn’t bring himself to move any of his limbs right now. But if he focused just a little, turning his head ever so slightly to make out that thing in his peripheral vision-
It was a paw.
“Oh, God,” he croaked, immediately squeezing his eyes shut again and looking away. No. This wasn’t happening. He’d been good, he thought. He’d done everything right. He’d put the gem back where it belonged. He’d been willing to put himself on the line to save Steve. Apparently, though, that hadn’t been enough, and now it was too late. Steve was gone, and Tony would have to live with what he’d done for the rest of his life.
Was Steve even still alive? Tony could get up and look, but he was too afraid, too ashamed to do so. Because even if Steve was, what then? He was still a sabretooth. Either Steve’s mind was still trapped in that body, or, even worse-and more plausibly, given his recent behavior-everything that Steve had been was gone now, and there was nothing left but a ferocious, wild cat. And if that was alive, it didn’t even matter. Because the Steve he’d come to know, even come to care for a little-he was dead.
Tony had killed him.
He laid there for several minutes, the room silent around him save for his own quickening breaths as he struggled to come to terms with exactly what he’d done. Faintly, he was aware that today was the last day on which Fury’s airship would come looking for them, and that he was wasting time wallowing here in his own self-pity and shame and anger. He should probably move, he thought. But he didn’t.
Finally, though, he forced himself to open his eyes again, gaze landing once more on the paw just barely in his field of vision. Even if he didn’t go anywhere, even if Steve-as-a-sabretooth was still alive and interested in eating him, he just… he had to say something. So slowly, he reached out, laying one hand lightly against the paw, fearing he’d wake him up but needing to make some sort of contact, and then he let his eyes flutter shut once more, taking a deep, shuddering breath.
“I’m so sorry, Steve,” he said.
He thought about the arguments they’d had the first few days after they’d landed, of the way they’d sniped and snarked at each other, and then he thought about his heart, beating steadily now in his chest, seemingly cured of whatever illness had stricken it. Then he thought again of Steve, of the way he’d looked at Tony as he told him about what had happened to his heart, and of the way he’d wrapped his arm around him and held him close. At some point, Steve had crossed the line from irritating super soldier to friend. And now, to have lost him, to just as well have Steve’s blood on his hands, to have paid the cost of a working heart with Steve’s life…
Blindly, he scooted closer to the paw, leaning forward to press his lips against it, the barest brush of skin against fur, and he whispered-“It wasn’t worth it.”
“What wasn’t worth it?”
Tony gasped, eyes snapping open as he jolted backward, bumping his head against the pedestal and cursing softly in pain. For a moment, he could see nothing but a dizzying array of colors, but then things settled a little, and he could make out the sabretooth, which was… moving? Had it just spoke?
He groaned, putting his hands over his eyes and waiting for the dizziness to pass. Maybe the trauma of killing Steve had driven him crazy, because he was pretty sure sabretooths didn’t talk with Steve’s voice in real life.
“Tony, calm down, you’re hurting yourself.” Before he knew it, there were hands-human hands-wrapping around his wrists and gently pulling them away, but Tony kept his eyes shut, afraid of what he’d see. He didn’t want to hallucinate a dead Steve. Better to just-to just try and ignore it.
But the hallucination, apparently, was persistent, because it spoke again. “Tony. Open your eyes.”
Damn it. He wanted to pretend he didn’t hear it, because chances were good that his brain was just torturing him at this point, but it was Steve’s voice, and he couldn’t ignore what he was saying.
So slowly, he opened his eyes, waiting for his vision to sharpen.
It was Steve. Human Steve, his hair a golden halo around him as he was lit by the rising sun from behind, blue eyes shining. He was, as far as Tony could tell, completely naked, but the furry pelt draped over his back kept Tony from being certain.
Tony blinked, his eyes following the pelt down to a limp-looking paw, then went back up to Steve. “Oh,” he said.
Steve blinked back at him in turn, breaking into a wide, dazzling smile, and Tony felt himself go dizzy again. “‘Oh’?” he repeated. “You successfully turned me back, and that’s all you have to say? ‘Oh’?”
“I’m still trying to decide whether I’m imagining you or not,” Tony replied. “I-here, give me a moment.” And before he could think twice about it, he leaned forward, kissing Steve full on the lips.
Yeah. Definitely real.
He wasn’t sure how long it lasted. Steve wasn’t kissing back, not really, but he wasn’t pulling away either, so Tony felt no need to cut it off prematurely. Still, he did eventually need to breathe, so he pulled back, gazing at him as his brain fought to catch up, reminding him of all the reasons why that had been a supremely stupid idea. You weren’t supposed to just go around kissing your friends on the lips, especially not your guy friends if you yourself were a guy, because that just led to all sorts of trouble, and especially not when you were acting completely on impulse, just so damn glad to see him alive again that kissing was the only thing you could think to do.
Okay, time for excuses. Tony cleared his throat, trying to seem casual, and said, “I mentioned I’m hallucinating, right? Pretty out of it. I hit my head, you see. I wouldn’t put much stock in anything I’m doing right now, really.”
Now it was Steve’s turn to look dazed, apparently-very slowly, he lifted one hand up, pressing his fingers to his lips as his gaze met Tony’s. “Oh,” he said at last.
Tony snorted. “Didn’t you just give me crap for saying ‘oh’?” he asked, since Steve didn’t look like he was going to punch Tony in the face anytime soon. “Come on, give me something here.”
Steve blinked at him again, then gave him a tentative smile. That was good. “We’re going to have to talk about this later,” he said. Less good, but okay. He then looked down at himself, prodding at the pelt hanging off him. “Is this… was this my skin?”
“Markings look familiar,” Tony said, gladly latching onto the new topic and making out the pattern of stripes he’d committed to memory after that one time he’d realized he couldn’t distinguish Steve from other sabretooths. “Sorry, but that’s gross.”
“Not arguing,” Steve said, climbing to his feet, and wow, hello. He awkwardly adjusted the pelt around his body, then looked down at Tony, offering his hand. “Please tell me you have clothes for me.”
Tony blinked, tearing his eyes away from… more interesting parts, and took Steve’s hand, managing to stand up as well. “Yeah,” he said, letting go to rummage around in Steve’s pack, bringing out a shirt and pants a moment later and holding them out to him.
Steve accepted the clothes gratefully, turning away to pull them on. “So,” he said, his back to Tony. “Unless I completely lost track of time, we have to be someplace by noon today. You know. Unless you want to stay here for the rest of your life.”
“Yeah,” Tony said again. He grinned, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Getting back home was nothing compared to what he’d feared had happened to Steve. “Don’t worry. I have a plan.” He reached into his own pack, thankful that he’d gone through the trouble of lugging everything with him, even after Steve had run off. “Remember those fireworks you saw earlier? The ones you looked like you wanted to nag me about?”
Steve stared at him, though the gravity he was trying to project was somewhat lost due to the sabretooth pelt that was still draped off his shoulders. “You’re kidding. Tony, it’s the middle of the day. No one’s going to be able to see fireworks.”
“Please,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. “Steve, I’m a genius who likes attention and flashing things. You think I can’t design some fireworks that’ll catch eyes no matter how much sun there is? Grab your stuff and follow me.”
An hour later, S.H.I.E.L.D.’s airship was heading their way to pick them up, and then-at long last-they were going home.
Epilogue
“So,” Tony said by way of greeting as he slid into Steve’s sleeping quarters, since the door was open and really, he should have closed it if he didn’t want visitors. “I see you still have your charming pelt there. Any plans for it?”
Steve glanced up in surprise, but he smiled when he saw who it was, setting down his notepad. “Hi,” he said, before his gaze dropped down to look at the pelt draped over one chair. “I don’t know. I was thinking of tacking it up on my wall at home, but I’m kind of afraid it would come to life in the middle of the night and try to eat me.”
“You’d be able to fight it off,” Tony assured him, sitting down on the bed beside him. Since they’d been retrieved by the airship, they hadn’t had much time to talk-Fury and other higher-ups had been hounding them for information since they boarded, and while Steve was happy to share, Tony was less so. Besides which, he’d had to suffer through various medical staff poking and prodding at the gashes on his arm and chest, despite him telling them that honestly, it was nothing, and hadn’t they ever been scratched by a sabretooth before? Really.
But now they were both free, and strangely enough, despite spending the past extremely harrowing week with no one but Steve, Tony found himself missing his company. It was hard to really articulate why. Maybe part of it boiled down to having shared an experience with him that he’d never shared, and never would share, with anyone else. Maybe another part of it was how fearless Steve was around him, how he’d seen Tony’s weaknesses and didn’t think any less of him, still drawing his face and labeling him as hero. And maybe yet another part had something to do with the fact that okay, yeah, Steve was very, very nice to look at.
On second thought, maybe it wasn’t so strange Tony had missed him after all.
“I’m honored you think so,” Steve said with a small smile as he picked up his shield, starting to polish it. Tony raised an eyebrow. It already looked very shiny. “Anyway, I’m glad you came. I wanted to ask you…” His gaze slid sideways, to Tony’s chest, even as he continued to polish away. “How’s your heart doing?”
“My heart?” Automatically, Tony lifted a hand, placing it over his chest. He hadn’t discussed what had happened with it, not with Steve, not with Fury, not with anyone. Fury, he suspected, would probably find out what happened sooner or later. But Tony would make him work for it. Steve, though… he could tell Steve. “It’s fine.”
Steve blinked and went silent for a moment, like he couldn’t quite believe what he’d heard. “What do you mean, it’s fine?” he asked at last.
“I mean it’s fine.” Tony reached up, undoing the top few buttons of his shirt to reveal his chest, gauze covering the scratches from the first sabretooth fight, but otherwise missing the metal plate and charge percentage and everything else. It was like Wong-Chu never happened, which was, honestly, quite surprising because he was completely expecting to die, or at least have that first bit of magic be undone up in that igloo-thing on the mountain. “There’s probably a moral in here somewhere. Save a life, have your own life saved for free? You know, that’s a great marketing tactic. Someone should try that. People like free things.”
“Uh huh,” Steve said with a little smile, setting his shield aside as well. “Well, I’m happy for you, Tony. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d come back to myself and seen you dead.” His mouth set, and he turned on Tony with a glare. “You broke your pinky promise.”
“I did not,” Tony protested, because ouch, that glare could hurt people. “If I had, I wouldn’t be here right now, would I?”
Steve still didn’t look entirely pleased, though the glare softened, at least. Tony sighed in relief. “Well, you had intent to break your promise. That’s almost just as bad.”
“But not exactly just as bad,” Tony replied, clapping him on the back. “Semantics is everything. Relax, Steve. I’m alive and you are refreshingly human. We should be celebrating, really. Know if this airship has a bar?”
Steve snorted and rolled his eyes. “I don’t like alcohol,” he said. Why was this not surprising? “Anyway, there was something else I wanted to talk about.”
“Go for it.”
“You kissed me.”
Oh. Right. Okay, so Tony had been hoping that Steve had forgotten about that, because he himself really just had no idea what was going on there. But he supposed a national war hero who went by the name of Captain America probably didn’t get that way because he had a poor memory. “I sure did,” he replied at last. “Problem?”
“Not really,” Steve said, and if Tony had been drinking something, he was pretty sure he would have spit it out. “Though we’ve only known each other for about a week.”
“It was a long week,” Tony felt compelled to add. “Really, really long.”
“Yeah,” Steve agreed, and there was that little smile again. What was going on? Tony was confused. Fine, yes, he’d thought Steve was an extraordinarily handsome man for some time, and then they’d become friends and things had happened. But he wasn’t really sure what he himself wanted, much less what Steve did. “I do like you, Tony.”
Tony nodded dazedly, because he was still kind of confused. “Uh, thanks? Right back at you.”
Steve regarded him for a moment in silence, tilting his head contemplatively. “I was waiting for you to try passing it off as you hallucinating again,” he said eventually, and oh yeah, that was what Tony should have done. Damn. “But you didn’t. So.” Steve leaned forward, kissing him on the forehead, leaving Tony sitting there wide-eyed and blinking. “I don’t want to move too fast. And America needs our help. Come back to New York with me?”
Tony could have pointed out that he was already based in New York, so going there was basically going home and he didn’t need Steve’s invitation. “Okay,” was what he ended up saying anyway.
“Great,” Steve replied, and once again his smile seemed to brighten the whole room. “By the way, Tony?”
“Yeah?”
“I lied. I’m still a big fan of Marvels.”
Tony grinned at that, reaching forward to flick a stray hair out of Steve’s face and watching his big blue eyes light up in surprise. “Is that so?” he asked. “You’ll have to tell me all about it.”
He’d started off the week looking for a cure for his broken heart. And now, he thought, sitting here next to a war hero, a super soldier, a military man-now he thought that maybe he’d really found it.
Prologue-Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6-Epilogue
Artists: angelicfoodcake and makowe-pola
Author: ashei
Rating (both art/fic): G for art, PG-13 for fic (cursing and mild violence)
Universe: Iron Man Noir
Word Count: 27,191
Warnings: Animal transformation, big cats, questionable magic
Beta: eschatologies
Art Thumbnail:
Fic Summary: Though both the war and his days of adventuring for Marvels are over, Tony Stark is still looking for a cure to his failing heart. When Nick Fury asks him and Captain America to investigate a newly discovered world dubbed the Savage Land, Tony jumps at the chance, hoping to find something - anything - that'll fix him. But once Tony finds that something, he discovers that it comes at the cost of Steve's humanity - leaving Tony to struggle to turn him back before it's too late.
Link to Art: angelicfoodcake's art and makowe-pola's art
Link to Fic: AO3 | LiveJournal
Prologue-Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6-Epilogue
Day Six
The morning was silent as they continued up the mountain, Tony taking his usual spot on Steve’s back and grabbing onto his fur, his stomach partially filled with something labeled as “fruit bars” but came off as more cardboard-like than anything. Steve hadn’t seemed hungry, even when Tony prodded him about it, so he had to assume that his stomach was still full of raw, possibly-not-entirely-digested deer, no matter how gross that seemed.
The journey was, for the most part, uneventful. Steve was making good time, and though the incline was steadily getting steeper, with the help of glorious aspirin, Tony had no problem holding on as he looked around and tried to take mental notes on everything he was seeing-it was hard to believe, but a part of him was actually feeling guilty. After all, Steve was supposed to be their note taker, but he was hardly in any state to write down anything now, and how else was Fury supposed to know what they were seeing if Tony didn’t record it? Imagine that, he thought. Steve was rubbing off on him.
As Tony had thought earlier, there were indeed pterodactyls, but they were swooping over the plains below, utterly uninterested in whatever was happening on the mountain. Come to think of it, Tony was pretty sure he hadn’t seen a single living soul up here, save for Steve and himself-if he turned around, he could make out some dinosaurs in the distance, and he knew for a fact that there were other sabretooths hanging around somewhere down there. But up here? Nothing. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if this was worrisome or not-less predators, good, but no living creatures at all, bad.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t actually bad. If there weren’t any living creatures on the mountain, then there was probably a good reason for it. Like maybe it slowly poisoned and killed everyone who set foot on it, which would be unfortunate. Or maybe because it was magical.
Honestly, he didn’t know anything. But the cave drawings had suggested that the tallest mountain in the area was a good place to be, and if there was something, anything, that suggested that said cave drawings might actually be true, Tony was going to hang onto it for dear life.
So up they went. Around noon, they found another pond and stopped to rest, Tony sliding right off of Steve and flopping over onto the grass. “Sore,” he croaked, pulling both packs off of Steve and reaching into one to grab a bottle of water. Seriously, riding bareback on a damn sabretooth was never going to be comfortable, no matter how much he did it.
Steve settled down beside him, licking at his paws. Tony turned to look, blinking and raising an eyebrow when he saw just what Steve was doing. “So is that a thing you do now?” he asked. “Licking yourself? Pretty cat-like, isn’t it?” Steve just shrugged, tongue lapping away, so Tony continued, “Alright, so here’s something I’ve been wanting to know. Doesn’t that taste awful? You’re covered in dirt. You’re eating it, basically. How is that okay?”
He received another shrug in reply, so he threw his hands up, then laid back to stare at the clouds. “You’re given a chance to answer the deepest questions about the feline psyche, and all you do is shrug. This is a travesty.”
Again, Steve just shrugged, getting up onto his feet. Tony sat up as well, wondering if they were going to take off again when Steve just walked straight into the pond. “Steve?” he asked. “What are you doing?” He looked like he was just… swimming? “Well, okay,” Tony said, once it was clear that Steve had no intention of answering him. “Just don’t take too long in there, alright? We kind of have a deadline.” With that, he laid back down, going back to staring at the clouds.
He was in the middle of designing some gauntlet upgrades in his head when he abruptly heard a snarl coming from right behind him.
“Jesus!” he gasped, bolting upright and automatically grabbing the pack with the gauntlets, looking around and finding Steve snarling at something behind him, his body still dripping with water. “Steve? Steve, what’s wrong?”
Steve continued to growl, and Tony frowned, looking behind him. There wasn’t much to see-just a couple of trees and rocks. “Do you see something?” he asked, turning back to him. “Because I don’t-”
He realized that Steve was growling at him at the same time a massive paw came swinging at his face.
Cursing, he dodged and rolled out of the way, then hastily reached into his pack and slipped on a gauntlet. “Steve!” he shouted, holding one hand out in front of him protectively before remembering that shit, this was Captain America-he couldn’t just be firing repulsor rays into his face. Still, he kept his hand out anyway, hoping it might serve as a distraction or something. “Steve, snap out of it!”
Unfortunately for Tony, Steve did no such thing, leaping at him again and forcing him to jump off to the side. “Steve!” he repeated, but it didn’t seem to be making any difference.
He forced himself onto his feet, wavering a little as he held his gauntleted hand up again. “I don’t want to have to fire at you,” he told him as they began circling each other slowly. God, was this his life now? Getting into showdowns with national-heroes-turned-extinct-animals? This was probably the last thing he ever wanted. “Really, now. You’re tearing me apart, Steve. Don’t make me cry-it’s not pretty, it really isn’t. So get that wild look out of your eyes and be my friend again, pretty please?”
Somewhat unsurprisingly, his passionate plea went ignored as Steve charged him, and once more Tony had to roll off to the side, narrowly avoiding Steve’s massive paw. “Steve-” he began, but the words died in his mouth as Steve moved as fast as lightning, swiping his paw and tearing a gash into Tony’s arm. “Fuck!” he gasped, instinctively shooting at Steve, eyes squeezing shut at the pain. Damn it, this wasn’t good, not at all.
Steve leapt away from the blast, which gave Tony time to scramble upward again, his free hand clutching at his injured arm. Shit. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t kill Steve. That was an awful idea. But he could hardly let Steve kill him, because that was also an awful idea.
“C’mon,” he tried again, wavering on the spot. “Steve. You’re not a sabretooth. You’re a human and a mighty swell fellow, okay? Making people bleed is bad and so you should stop.”
And of course Steve just had to charge at him once more. Hissing in pain, Tony hauled his ass out of Steve’s way, firing at him again-he hated to do it, but if Steve was anything like that other sabretooth they’d fought, it’d just be an annoyance at worst.
Steve grunted and writhed at the impact, turning long enough for Tony to catch the glint of the shield on his back-right. The shield. That had helped before, hadn’t it, the last time Steve went full sabretooth on him? Maybe it would help now.
He just had to get his hands on it somehow.
Tony aimed another repulsor blast at Steve, firing at his feet rather than his face-Tony wasn’t looking to hurt him, only to distract. Steve grunted, clearly irritated, and turned toward him again. He was going to attempt to stampede him soon, Tony knew. Which was good. It was what he wanted. But damn it, he already knew it was going to hurt like hell.
When Steve came barreling toward him, Tony started running forward as well, leaping up and grabbing hold of a branch above him, even though it made his injured arm feel like it was being ripped right off his shoulder. With that, he managed to swing up over Steve, letting go and landing right on him, though he was facing the wrong way.
He didn’t have much time. Steve bucked, trying to throw him off as he turned and snapped his jaws, his teeth coming dangerously close. Through some miracle, Tony managed to hang on, ignoring the searing pain in his arm as he turned around, grabbing the shield.
A moment later, Tony was flung off, but this time, he had the shield, and so he held it up in front of him protectively with his bad arm, his other hand up to aim the repulsor. God, he hoped this worked. “Hey!” he called, trying to catch Steve’s attention. “Steve. Hey, Steve. Look at me!”
Silence. Tony slowly lowered the shield, looking over the rim. Steve was seated in front of him, looking confused again. When he caught sight of Tony, he quickly padded over to him, blue eyes questioning. “Oh, thank God,” Tony breathed, setting the shield down and wincing when the pain in his arm flared up again. “Jesus. Steve, are you okay?”
Steve’s gaze landed on the gashes in his arm; his eyes widened, and he looked back to Tony, clearly wanting to know where this had come from. “It’s nothing,” Tony said quickly, putting his hand over it, which ended up being a bad idea because one, he was still wearing his gauntlet, and two, now his gauntlet was covered with blood. Great. “Um. If you could grab my bag for me?”
Quickly, Steve turned around, locating the bag after a moment and carrying it back with his teeth. He deposited it at Tony’s feet, then went back to hovering around him, looking anxious. “It’s nothing,” Tony repeated as he fished out a roll of gauze, starting to awkwardly roll it around his arm and watching as the blood started to soak through. This was really not fun.
Steve didn’t look happy, rapping one paw against the ground to catch Tony’s attention. Me? he tapped out.
“Don’t be silly,” Tony said, hissing as he made another loop around his arm with the gauze. “Please don’t hover over me like that, really, I’m not going to spontaneously combust.” He taped the gauze in place at the same time Steve tapped his paw again. Me, he said, this time without the question mark.
Tony sighed. “No, Steve,” he said. “It wasn’t you. It was… it was just some wild sabretooth that temporarily took over. But it’s okay now. You’re back. Nothing to worry about, right?”
Steve looked at him, eyes wide, his gaze flickering between Tony’s own and the mass of gauze wrapped around his arm. Then, without further ado, he opened his mouth.
“Steve, what…?” Tony began, but before he could get any further, Steve lowered his head, nudging at Tony’s hand before opening wide once more. Frowning, Tony looked down, trying to figure out what on earth Steve was trying to tell him.
And that was when he realized Steve was motioning at the hand with the gauntlet still intact.
“Jesus, Steve,” Tony managed weakly, looking back at him. “What the hell are you saying?” Vividly, he remembered shooting twin blasts into that other sabretooth’s mouth, but… “Do you want me to attack you?”
Steve nodded. There was-there was something desperate in his eyes. Desperate and fearful and worried, and it made Tony’s heart ache. “Steve, no,” he said, cautiously reaching up to touch Steve’s head. “Is this because you feel like me getting hurt is your fault? It’s not. Really. And I’m okay. We’re both okay. I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t be like this.”
A minute passed, and then Steve drew back, his mouth closing. “Thank God,” Tony breathed, relieved beyond belief as he let his hand drop. Jesus. Like he was actually ever going to go through with that! “Alright. Give me a moment-”
Before he could say anything more, though, Steve turned around and dashed away, vanishing into the foliage.
For a moment, Tony just stood there, completely frozen. What the hell had just happened? Steve had been here one second, and then in the next he’d just… run off. Why? Because Tony hadn’t agreed to kill him? Because Steve thought if he stuck around, he was just going to hurt him again? Please. Tony had survived much worse. But no, apparently, Steve just had to treat this as much worse than it actually was.
“Fuck,” he announced to the world, because now seemed as good as any to curse.
Grimacing, Tony slung both his and Steve’s packs onto his good shoulder, then picked up the shield, because he’d be damned if he was going to leave any of their stuff behind. Once he was ready to go, he took off, heading in Steve’s general direction-what else could he do? They’d come this far; Tony wasn’t going to abandon him now. But really, damn the man. Damn him. They’d been close, so close, with less than a day to go. And then Steve had to run off.
Slowly, the shadows started to lengthen, and still Tony couldn’t find Steve. There were signs he’d passed by, sure-a paw print here, a paw print there-but Steve himself remained elusive, and though Tony’s arm was throbbing, his heart was faring much worse.
Tony was scared. Just the idea of Steve somewhere out there, all alone as the sun set-it was enough to make his throat go dry, to make his chest constrict painfully. Because once that sun went down, and they weren’t at the top of that mountain, then based on Tony’s best guess, Steve was going to stay a sabretooth. Worse, Tony feared that he was going to stay an actual sabretooth, the kind that wanted to claw Tony’s face off and possibly eat him.
He couldn’t let that happen.
So he kept on looking, ignoring the persistent ache in his arm and the way his heart was pounding in his throat, resolutely downing more aspirin. He’d find Steve, he told himself. He just-he’d find him.
By the time the sun dipped low into the sky, Steve was still missing, but Tony realized with a start that he was very much near the top now. He turned around, looking downward-and goodness, it was a good thing he didn’t fear heights, because seriously, he was high up.
Tony turned back, then looked up, and for the first time he realized that there was something up there. It looked like-it looked like another igloo-thing, maybe. Like the ones he’d seen in the underground city, but bigger. A giant igloo at the top of the mountain. Was this it? Was this where they were supposed to have wound up all along?
Maybe, he thought, just maybe, Steve was already in there.
Steeling himself, Tony dashed up the rest of the way, continuing to ignore the way the gashes in his arm and chest throbbed and ached. He’d deal with the injuries later. Only one thing mattered right now, and that was whether or not Steve was here, and if he wasn’t-if he wasn’t-
It didn’t bear thinking about.
Once he made it to the top, he burst into the igloo-thing, blinking and looking around. This one was different from the others. At the other end was a wide hole, like a window without glass, perfectly positioned so that he could see the setting sun through it. In the middle sat a pedestal with something that looked like-well, a glove, which made so little sense Tony decided not to spend too long dwelling on it. And there, lying in front of the pedestal…
“Steve!” he cried, running over to his side and placing a hand against his side, feeling coarse fur under his skin. “Steve, are you okay? God, you idiot, what did you run away for?”
Steve groaned and turned to look at him, and for a second Tony feared that this wasn’t Steve, it was the mean sabretooth who wanted to eat him. But then their eyes met, and Tony’s worries melted away. This was Steve. He knew it was Steve. “Hey,” he tried again. “You alright?”
A moment passed, and then Steve shook his head slowly, causing Tony’s heart to drop. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but it was actually pretty clear what was wrong. It was almost sunset. If something bad was going to happen to Steve, it was going to happen soon.
Right. Shit. He needed to-to what? Belatedly, he realized he had no idea what they were supposed to do once they got here. A part of him had hoped that they’d haul their asses up here and then everything would be magically okay, but thinking about it, of course it wasn’t going to be that easy. It never was.
“Okay,” Tony said, because he didn’t know what else to do other than say useless words. “Steve. Just-just hang on for a moment longer. I’m going to fix this, alright? I promise.” He looked out the window, at the sun that was still steadily sinking under the horizon. He was running out of time.
Tony reached out, giving Steve’s head one more pat, then straightened to examine the pedestal. It looked like the one from the big igloo in the underground city, but larger and missing the sabretooth drawings. And unlike the other one, this one had not a gem, but a golden glove, its palm facing him. The image of the hand looked vaguely familiar, though he couldn’t quite place it at the moment. Could he wish on the glove? God, it sounded so stupid, but it had worked on the gem, hadn’t it? He’d wished on it, and things had come true. Not in the best of ways, but it’d worked.
He swallowed, reaching forward to touch the glove. “So, uh,” he said awkwardly. “If you could change my friend Steve back into a human, that would be really great. Thanks for your consideration?”
Steve made a faint choking sound from behind him, and Tony quickly turned back, kneeling beside him again. “Steve?” he repeated. Was something happening? Did it work? Never mind the fact that magic was a total crapshoot-Tony was a genius. It had to have worked.
But Steve wasn’t changing back. Tony took a deep breath, reaching out to touch one of Steve’s limbs and trying to reassure himself that this was okay. After all, it hadn’t been immediate last time, either. So he could wait.
And yet-Steve whined suddenly, his body twitching, and Tony jumped backwards from the sudden movement. “Steve,” he said yet again, meeting his eyes, those wonderfully blue Boy Scout eyes of his-but then something changed, and that glint appeared in them again, that feral wildness that Tony had started to associate with bared teeth and extended claws. “No,” he whispered, taking another step backward as he felt fear bubble up in him, seeing the last of the sunlight reflect in his eyes and finding it anything but beautiful. “Steve-Steve, no. This isn’t supposed to happen. We made it. We’re here. You’re not supposed to stay like this.”
He bumped into the pedestal, turning in time to see the golden glove wobble and fall to the floor. Steve’s gaze followed him, and he automatically brought the shield up in response-but somehow, this time Tony wasn’t surprised when it didn’t seem to put him in his right mind again, though it at least seemed to keep him at bay. How long did he have left? Just minutes, surely. Just minutes to figure this out. Just minutes to save Steve’s life.
Not wanting to startle Steve, he crouched down slowly, picking the glove up and turning it in his free hand. Up close like this, it was clear that it wasn’t just a regular glove, but a metallic gauntlet, studded with gems.
One of them was missing.
Breath catching, Tony set the gauntlet down, then reached up to unbutton his shirt, looking at the gem embedded in his chest. This… this was it, he was pretty sure. This was the missing gem. If he took it out of himself and put it in the gauntlet, then it would work. He knew it would work. It was the only thing that made sense.
Of course, if he took it out of himself, he’d be in for a world of pain at the very least, based on that one time he’d plucked it out just to see what would happen. Hell, he’d probably have a heart attack and die. And wasn’t it a shame that he’d worked so hard for so long to find a way to cure himself, only to undo everything just to return Steve to the status quo?
But it didn’t matter. None of that mattered. The only reason they were even in this situation in the first place was because Tony had fucked things up, and if the only way to fix things before they ran out of time was for him to fuck himself up, well, that seemed as good a price to pay as any. After all, their country was recovering from a war. They needed someone like Captain America, like Steve, to guide them. But Tony? He’d done his part. He could-he could rest easy.
“Sorry, Steve,” he said, taking a deep breath and resting his fingers against the gem in his chest. “But you’re much more important to the world than Iron Man.” And he pulled the gem out.
The pain was immediate. His whole body seemed to shudder, and suddenly breathing was much harder than it should be. Still, he managed to grab hold of the gauntlet, pressing the gem into the empty indentation with shaking hands and watching as the whole thing lit up. Then he turned back to look at Steve, who was still regarding him with shining eyes as the last of the sun disappeared from view.
But as much as Tony wanted to stay awake, stay alive, just to make sure that Steve was going to be okay, his body, apparently, was having none of that. He found himself involuntarily collapsing onto the floor, the gauntlet slipping from his limp fingers as his vision went black around the edges.
This was probably the end, but for some reason, all Tony could think about was extending his pinky finger to Steve and swearing to him that he wouldn’t drop dead. That was a stupid promise, he thought to himself. Steve was going to be so disappointed once he went back to normal.
And then everything went dark.
Day Seven
I’m alive.
The morning air was cool as consciousness filtered back to Tony, causing him to curl up a little into himself, shivering. God, what had happened last night? Tony-Tony recalled some things, dimly. Bad things. Things about broken promises and glinting eyes and dying. Things that, upon second thought, were better left forgotten.
But he wasn’t dead, from what he could tell. If his senses could be believed, he was still lying on a stone floor in an igloo-thing at the top of a mountain, covered by a blanket of cold air. That was probably good, he thought, even if all his limbs felt like jelly.
Then he remembered. There was a reason he’d had to go through all of last night’s bullshit. A reason he’d broken a promise and dropped dead, kind of. A very, very good reason.
Steve…
Groaning, he forced himself to open his eyes, looking around. As he’d thought, he was still where he’d collapsed last night. The pedestal was right in front of him, though the gauntlet wasn’t in his line of vision, which was admittedly limited because he couldn’t bring himself to move any of his limbs right now. But if he focused just a little, turning his head ever so slightly to make out that thing in his peripheral vision-
It was a paw.
“Oh, God,” he croaked, immediately squeezing his eyes shut again and looking away. No. This wasn’t happening. He’d been good, he thought. He’d done everything right. He’d put the gem back where it belonged. He’d been willing to put himself on the line to save Steve. Apparently, though, that hadn’t been enough, and now it was too late. Steve was gone, and Tony would have to live with what he’d done for the rest of his life.
Was Steve even still alive? Tony could get up and look, but he was too afraid, too ashamed to do so. Because even if Steve was, what then? He was still a sabretooth. Either Steve’s mind was still trapped in that body, or, even worse-and more plausibly, given his recent behavior-everything that Steve had been was gone now, and there was nothing left but a ferocious, wild cat. And if that was alive, it didn’t even matter. Because the Steve he’d come to know, even come to care for a little-he was dead.
Tony had killed him.
He laid there for several minutes, the room silent around him save for his own quickening breaths as he struggled to come to terms with exactly what he’d done. Faintly, he was aware that today was the last day on which Fury’s airship would come looking for them, and that he was wasting time wallowing here in his own self-pity and shame and anger. He should probably move, he thought. But he didn’t.
Finally, though, he forced himself to open his eyes again, gaze landing once more on the paw just barely in his field of vision. Even if he didn’t go anywhere, even if Steve-as-a-sabretooth was still alive and interested in eating him, he just… he had to say something. So slowly, he reached out, laying one hand lightly against the paw, fearing he’d wake him up but needing to make some sort of contact, and then he let his eyes flutter shut once more, taking a deep, shuddering breath.
“I’m so sorry, Steve,” he said.
He thought about the arguments they’d had the first few days after they’d landed, of the way they’d sniped and snarked at each other, and then he thought about his heart, beating steadily now in his chest, seemingly cured of whatever illness had stricken it. Then he thought again of Steve, of the way he’d looked at Tony as he told him about what had happened to his heart, and of the way he’d wrapped his arm around him and held him close. At some point, Steve had crossed the line from irritating super soldier to friend. And now, to have lost him, to just as well have Steve’s blood on his hands, to have paid the cost of a working heart with Steve’s life…
Blindly, he scooted closer to the paw, leaning forward to press his lips against it, the barest brush of skin against fur, and he whispered-“It wasn’t worth it.”
“What wasn’t worth it?”
Tony gasped, eyes snapping open as he jolted backward, bumping his head against the pedestal and cursing softly in pain. For a moment, he could see nothing but a dizzying array of colors, but then things settled a little, and he could make out the sabretooth, which was… moving? Had it just spoke?
He groaned, putting his hands over his eyes and waiting for the dizziness to pass. Maybe the trauma of killing Steve had driven him crazy, because he was pretty sure sabretooths didn’t talk with Steve’s voice in real life.
“Tony, calm down, you’re hurting yourself.” Before he knew it, there were hands-human hands-wrapping around his wrists and gently pulling them away, but Tony kept his eyes shut, afraid of what he’d see. He didn’t want to hallucinate a dead Steve. Better to just-to just try and ignore it.
But the hallucination, apparently, was persistent, because it spoke again. “Tony. Open your eyes.”
Damn it. He wanted to pretend he didn’t hear it, because chances were good that his brain was just torturing him at this point, but it was Steve’s voice, and he couldn’t ignore what he was saying.
So slowly, he opened his eyes, waiting for his vision to sharpen.
It was Steve. Human Steve, his hair a golden halo around him as he was lit by the rising sun from behind, blue eyes shining. He was, as far as Tony could tell, completely naked, but the furry pelt draped over his back kept Tony from being certain.
Tony blinked, his eyes following the pelt down to a limp-looking paw, then went back up to Steve. “Oh,” he said.
Steve blinked back at him in turn, breaking into a wide, dazzling smile, and Tony felt himself go dizzy again. “‘Oh’?” he repeated. “You successfully turned me back, and that’s all you have to say? ‘Oh’?”
“I’m still trying to decide whether I’m imagining you or not,” Tony replied. “I-here, give me a moment.” And before he could think twice about it, he leaned forward, kissing Steve full on the lips.
Yeah. Definitely real.
He wasn’t sure how long it lasted. Steve wasn’t kissing back, not really, but he wasn’t pulling away either, so Tony felt no need to cut it off prematurely. Still, he did eventually need to breathe, so he pulled back, gazing at him as his brain fought to catch up, reminding him of all the reasons why that had been a supremely stupid idea. You weren’t supposed to just go around kissing your friends on the lips, especially not your guy friends if you yourself were a guy, because that just led to all sorts of trouble, and especially not when you were acting completely on impulse, just so damn glad to see him alive again that kissing was the only thing you could think to do.
Okay, time for excuses. Tony cleared his throat, trying to seem casual, and said, “I mentioned I’m hallucinating, right? Pretty out of it. I hit my head, you see. I wouldn’t put much stock in anything I’m doing right now, really.”
Now it was Steve’s turn to look dazed, apparently-very slowly, he lifted one hand up, pressing his fingers to his lips as his gaze met Tony’s. “Oh,” he said at last.
Tony snorted. “Didn’t you just give me crap for saying ‘oh’?” he asked, since Steve didn’t look like he was going to punch Tony in the face anytime soon. “Come on, give me something here.”
Steve blinked at him again, then gave him a tentative smile. That was good. “We’re going to have to talk about this later,” he said. Less good, but okay. He then looked down at himself, prodding at the pelt hanging off him. “Is this… was this my skin?”
“Markings look familiar,” Tony said, gladly latching onto the new topic and making out the pattern of stripes he’d committed to memory after that one time he’d realized he couldn’t distinguish Steve from other sabretooths. “Sorry, but that’s gross.”
“Not arguing,” Steve said, climbing to his feet, and wow, hello. He awkwardly adjusted the pelt around his body, then looked down at Tony, offering his hand. “Please tell me you have clothes for me.”
Tony blinked, tearing his eyes away from… more interesting parts, and took Steve’s hand, managing to stand up as well. “Yeah,” he said, letting go to rummage around in Steve’s pack, bringing out a shirt and pants a moment later and holding them out to him.
Steve accepted the clothes gratefully, turning away to pull them on. “So,” he said, his back to Tony. “Unless I completely lost track of time, we have to be someplace by noon today. You know. Unless you want to stay here for the rest of your life.”
“Yeah,” Tony said again. He grinned, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Getting back home was nothing compared to what he’d feared had happened to Steve. “Don’t worry. I have a plan.” He reached into his own pack, thankful that he’d gone through the trouble of lugging everything with him, even after Steve had run off. “Remember those fireworks you saw earlier? The ones you looked like you wanted to nag me about?”
Steve stared at him, though the gravity he was trying to project was somewhat lost due to the sabretooth pelt that was still draped off his shoulders. “You’re kidding. Tony, it’s the middle of the day. No one’s going to be able to see fireworks.”
“Please,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. “Steve, I’m a genius who likes attention and flashing things. You think I can’t design some fireworks that’ll catch eyes no matter how much sun there is? Grab your stuff and follow me.”
An hour later, S.H.I.E.L.D.’s airship was heading their way to pick them up, and then-at long last-they were going home.
Epilogue
“So,” Tony said by way of greeting as he slid into Steve’s sleeping quarters, since the door was open and really, he should have closed it if he didn’t want visitors. “I see you still have your charming pelt there. Any plans for it?”
Steve glanced up in surprise, but he smiled when he saw who it was, setting down his notepad. “Hi,” he said, before his gaze dropped down to look at the pelt draped over one chair. “I don’t know. I was thinking of tacking it up on my wall at home, but I’m kind of afraid it would come to life in the middle of the night and try to eat me.”
“You’d be able to fight it off,” Tony assured him, sitting down on the bed beside him. Since they’d been retrieved by the airship, they hadn’t had much time to talk-Fury and other higher-ups had been hounding them for information since they boarded, and while Steve was happy to share, Tony was less so. Besides which, he’d had to suffer through various medical staff poking and prodding at the gashes on his arm and chest, despite him telling them that honestly, it was nothing, and hadn’t they ever been scratched by a sabretooth before? Really.
But now they were both free, and strangely enough, despite spending the past extremely harrowing week with no one but Steve, Tony found himself missing his company. It was hard to really articulate why. Maybe part of it boiled down to having shared an experience with him that he’d never shared, and never would share, with anyone else. Maybe another part of it was how fearless Steve was around him, how he’d seen Tony’s weaknesses and didn’t think any less of him, still drawing his face and labeling him as hero. And maybe yet another part had something to do with the fact that okay, yeah, Steve was very, very nice to look at.
On second thought, maybe it wasn’t so strange Tony had missed him after all.
“I’m honored you think so,” Steve said with a small smile as he picked up his shield, starting to polish it. Tony raised an eyebrow. It already looked very shiny. “Anyway, I’m glad you came. I wanted to ask you…” His gaze slid sideways, to Tony’s chest, even as he continued to polish away. “How’s your heart doing?”
“My heart?” Automatically, Tony lifted a hand, placing it over his chest. He hadn’t discussed what had happened with it, not with Steve, not with Fury, not with anyone. Fury, he suspected, would probably find out what happened sooner or later. But Tony would make him work for it. Steve, though… he could tell Steve. “It’s fine.”
Steve blinked and went silent for a moment, like he couldn’t quite believe what he’d heard. “What do you mean, it’s fine?” he asked at last.
“I mean it’s fine.” Tony reached up, undoing the top few buttons of his shirt to reveal his chest, gauze covering the scratches from the first sabretooth fight, but otherwise missing the metal plate and charge percentage and everything else. It was like Wong-Chu never happened, which was, honestly, quite surprising because he was completely expecting to die, or at least have that first bit of magic be undone up in that igloo-thing on the mountain. “There’s probably a moral in here somewhere. Save a life, have your own life saved for free? You know, that’s a great marketing tactic. Someone should try that. People like free things.”
“Uh huh,” Steve said with a little smile, setting his shield aside as well. “Well, I’m happy for you, Tony. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d come back to myself and seen you dead.” His mouth set, and he turned on Tony with a glare. “You broke your pinky promise.”
“I did not,” Tony protested, because ouch, that glare could hurt people. “If I had, I wouldn’t be here right now, would I?”
Steve still didn’t look entirely pleased, though the glare softened, at least. Tony sighed in relief. “Well, you had intent to break your promise. That’s almost just as bad.”
“But not exactly just as bad,” Tony replied, clapping him on the back. “Semantics is everything. Relax, Steve. I’m alive and you are refreshingly human. We should be celebrating, really. Know if this airship has a bar?”
Steve snorted and rolled his eyes. “I don’t like alcohol,” he said. Why was this not surprising? “Anyway, there was something else I wanted to talk about.”
“Go for it.”
“You kissed me.”
Oh. Right. Okay, so Tony had been hoping that Steve had forgotten about that, because he himself really just had no idea what was going on there. But he supposed a national war hero who went by the name of Captain America probably didn’t get that way because he had a poor memory. “I sure did,” he replied at last. “Problem?”
“Not really,” Steve said, and if Tony had been drinking something, he was pretty sure he would have spit it out. “Though we’ve only known each other for about a week.”
“It was a long week,” Tony felt compelled to add. “Really, really long.”
“Yeah,” Steve agreed, and there was that little smile again. What was going on? Tony was confused. Fine, yes, he’d thought Steve was an extraordinarily handsome man for some time, and then they’d become friends and things had happened. But he wasn’t really sure what he himself wanted, much less what Steve did. “I do like you, Tony.”
Tony nodded dazedly, because he was still kind of confused. “Uh, thanks? Right back at you.”
Steve regarded him for a moment in silence, tilting his head contemplatively. “I was waiting for you to try passing it off as you hallucinating again,” he said eventually, and oh yeah, that was what Tony should have done. Damn. “But you didn’t. So.” Steve leaned forward, kissing him on the forehead, leaving Tony sitting there wide-eyed and blinking. “I don’t want to move too fast. And America needs our help. Come back to New York with me?”
Tony could have pointed out that he was already based in New York, so going there was basically going home and he didn’t need Steve’s invitation. “Okay,” was what he ended up saying anyway.
“Great,” Steve replied, and once again his smile seemed to brighten the whole room. “By the way, Tony?”
“Yeah?”
“I lied. I’m still a big fan of Marvels.”
Tony grinned at that, reaching forward to flick a stray hair out of Steve’s face and watching his big blue eyes light up in surprise. “Is that so?” he asked. “You’ll have to tell me all about it.”
He’d started off the week looking for a cure for his broken heart. And now, he thought, sitting here next to a war hero, a super soldier, a military man-now he thought that maybe he’d really found it.
Prologue-Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6-Epilogue