Jul 15, 2004 18:55
today nothing much of anything however i want to get this out: I do think it's time to let go and tell the truth.
You wanna know why I cut? The feeling of pain is some kind I sick pleasure I suppose. But no, When you do it it makes you pure. You feel yourself doing it because you are releasing the bad blood. You want to be good so bad that is why you do it. it is that need. And you hold the power over it b/c you are the only one that can stop it. It gives you power, meaning...even if it is the fucked up kind. I never said what I do is something worth it. But when the pain strikes there has to be someway to release it. I life has been no crstyal stair and frankly I don't think things will get any worst but self doubt has more power over you. I've tried to change but..I don't know how.
Be good. To be good. To be...............
okay.
Is all I ever want.
P.S if only you open up and understand that people are going through the same shit and we do need each other.
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Yeah so the blood brother show was awesome. Saw alot of my Friends there. Very cool kids like Bobby and Tif. Got Johnny from the Blood brothers was checking me out. It was so many people there it was making me sick. First band sucked and I sat in the hallway for the second one. 16 year old boys smiling and wiggling their eyebrows at me. Not nice. I was up in the front for the daughters and some guy was rapping behind me. Daughters were good..awesome. The blood brothers was great too and Johnny's face collided with mine. Then he he like rubbed his whole face on mine. This has made my week. Yes Yes. At the end of the night I ended up on stage and if was funtimes.
Afterwards. Me and Khal got a ride with Tiff ,Tim and Bobby.
Khal got them beers and Cait ended up getting a ticket for curfew.
We all headed to 80's night wasting time as usual. Me and Eri left early and sat in the rascal house eating pizza until everyone was ready to go.
Wednesday was a graduation potluck at my job. All the graduates(including me) got presents and tons of food. I can say this..them fools can cook.