Tis the season
So its been 9 months since my Aunt Diane passed away....I dont think i have grieved properly yet. I am starting to miss her, like crazy :( and i cry a lot when i think about her. Maybe its because this is our first christmas without her? i know its going to be hard to go about our usual christmas night without her... She was always so funny, and made everyone so much happier.
I cant imagine how Justin and Lindsay are going to deal with everything, there first christmas without there mother, its just impossible to know how they must feel. Im still a little worried about Justin, he never really talked to anyone about what happened, i dont think he knows how. Lindsay is young and i dont think really understands what happend. There dad and step mother are having a baby, she is due in April, i guess that gives them something to look forward too....
Im glad that i got to spend the last week and a half of my aunts life by her side. I feel a lot better, that i at least got to say good bye too her. But there are so many things i wish i would have said too her, just telling her that i always will love her now just doesnt seem like enough. I wish i would have spent more time with her while she was feeling good.. We all knew that the Cancer was going to take her life, we just all pretended that it wasnt, she has fought it so many times before, and then when we realized how sick she was, we were all there.... i just wish we were all there for her when she was feeling okay, not just when she was really sick. i guess there isnt much i can do about it now, i wish there was...
I am going to go her grave on Christmas day, i just feel like thats the right thing to do, I miss her sooo much :(
I cant imagine how Justin and Lindsay are going to deal with everything, there first christmas without there mother, its just impossible to know how they must feel. Im still a little worried about Justin, he never really talked to anyone about what happened, i dont think he knows how. Lindsay is young and i dont think really understands what happend. There dad and step mother are having a baby, she is due in April, i guess that gives them something to look forward too....
Im glad that i got to spend the last week and a half of my aunts life by her side. I feel a lot better, that i at least got to say good bye too her. But there are so many things i wish i would have said too her, just telling her that i always will love her now just doesnt seem like enough. I wish i would have spent more time with her while she was feeling good.. We all knew that the Cancer was going to take her life, we just all pretended that it wasnt, she has fought it so many times before, and then when we realized how sick she was, we were all there.... i just wish we were all there for her when she was feeling okay, not just when she was really sick. i guess there isnt much i can do about it now, i wish there was...
I am going to go her grave on Christmas day, i just feel like thats the right thing to do, I miss her sooo much :(