Exile
Sorry that its been so long sence my last post
It was ether 2 or 3 years ago. I remember it was around halloween... My parents had just started using meth, and my family life became a battle for sanity, for seeing your parents in such a disgusting light....anyway I was going through alot, I had just left Carrie I believe, to find that she had lost her virginity on halloween (Heather don't tell her I said that...I'm serious), Rush was taken away from me, so all of this sumed up a bad fall. I was tormented, in many ways and began to act deferently....around halloween, I think a few days later I noticed my best friend Micheal was being distant....I tried to stay in contact with him, but he began to avoid me. I remember in the hight of all that happened, of the worst period in my life, the worst part was my friends not being at my aid, and knowing that they were not the nurturing honorable people I saw them to be....This above all else hurt me, to not be able to turn to Micheal for comfort as he had often done to me was like a slap in the face. It woke me up from the lie that was our friendship. About 3 months later Micheal decided to accept me back, I knew that nothing could be the same between us, but I accepted his invition politely and acted as we were friends during my 3 month exile from the group, or rather from Micheal(and unknown to me the entire time another friend held me in the same light of disgust as he did, Alex). Our friendship felt healed, the same as if nothing had happened after only a few months of DnD, swordfighting, and overnight stays....but to this day I've always had the fear of people hating me without my knowledge, or holding any truth back, so in turn I've become a very truthful(painfully so), though blunt person. I know many people would rather never know some things, but if I think it I will say it if you are my friend. If I concider you a friend, than you should know my every thought in my mind...
So anyways, thats just been on my mind ever sence my second exile (this one was envoked by me not them). Sence I came again to a time of need, a frightining weak state....and none of them came to me, none dare help in the single moment that I actually need it. Most aren't to blame for many didn't know of this, but I made it obvioius to those that are of offense. So I've lost Micheal probably forever, but it doesn't hurt like the first, for after that I don't think I ever really had him.
It was ether 2 or 3 years ago. I remember it was around halloween... My parents had just started using meth, and my family life became a battle for sanity, for seeing your parents in such a disgusting light....anyway I was going through alot, I had just left Carrie I believe, to find that she had lost her virginity on halloween (Heather don't tell her I said that...I'm serious), Rush was taken away from me, so all of this sumed up a bad fall. I was tormented, in many ways and began to act deferently....around halloween, I think a few days later I noticed my best friend Micheal was being distant....I tried to stay in contact with him, but he began to avoid me. I remember in the hight of all that happened, of the worst period in my life, the worst part was my friends not being at my aid, and knowing that they were not the nurturing honorable people I saw them to be....This above all else hurt me, to not be able to turn to Micheal for comfort as he had often done to me was like a slap in the face. It woke me up from the lie that was our friendship. About 3 months later Micheal decided to accept me back, I knew that nothing could be the same between us, but I accepted his invition politely and acted as we were friends during my 3 month exile from the group, or rather from Micheal(and unknown to me the entire time another friend held me in the same light of disgust as he did, Alex). Our friendship felt healed, the same as if nothing had happened after only a few months of DnD, swordfighting, and overnight stays....but to this day I've always had the fear of people hating me without my knowledge, or holding any truth back, so in turn I've become a very truthful(painfully so), though blunt person. I know many people would rather never know some things, but if I think it I will say it if you are my friend. If I concider you a friend, than you should know my every thought in my mind...
So anyways, thats just been on my mind ever sence my second exile (this one was envoked by me not them). Sence I came again to a time of need, a frightining weak state....and none of them came to me, none dare help in the single moment that I actually need it. Most aren't to blame for many didn't know of this, but I made it obvioius to those that are of offense. So I've lost Micheal probably forever, but it doesn't hurt like the first, for after that I don't think I ever really had him.