took me long enough......
Ten things I wish I could say to ten different people right now. (That's alot of people)
10. I am ready.
9. I went through so much with you and one interaction left you mute. I want us to communicate but I don’t know how to approach, and I would rather not feel awkward. For someone who made such an impact in my life why do you feel the need to stay distant
8. It hasn’t been long, but you have gone out of your way to prove yourself. He should feel ashamed because you truly are a wonderful person
7. There are times when I feel I cant relate to others because they judge me, you never make me feel that way.
6. Sometimes I wish we never met. What was the point? What did we take back with us, what did we gain? What did we miss?
5. I know who you are but because you have no backbone you let others decide for you. It is sad, and in reality I’m not the one who is pathetic. When your friendship ends you will have no one who is true to you because you have decided to push them out of your life when it didn’t go your way, when you wanted it. You’re a spoiled girl and I feel bad for you, honestly. It makes me laugh. And I hope when I write you that message you fucking sob. You’ll thank me in the end. Watch.
4. No one will know what really goes on behind closed doors, but for your sake you need to just move on. You’re far too special to me to see you shelter history
3. You could never be replaced, I would go to the end of the world for you if I needed to you. You’re my family and the one person I go to for anything. You always listen and always give me true advice. I just fucking love you.
2. Get off your fucking ass and make it happen, you lost your passion because you’re too shy and afraid of change. Time waits for no one.
1. You saved me. You stood by my side and fought for me when no one else agreed with you. You saw the person I was inside and made me a better. You give me the courage to fight and now I want you to do the same for you. You’re so passionate but you let your downfalls consume you because you’re in fear of the fall. I know you will do something, you just need to go out there and make it happen. Stop thinking so big because you need to crawl before you can walk.
Nine things about myself.
9. It has been over 2 years and I still cannot seem to stop thinking about the events that took place before, during, and after. Just when you think it is ok, one thing will remind you of it all.
8. I have an externship/internship in Paris waiting for me
7. I fall asleep to sounds of beach waves crashing
6. I have a food blog
5. I get anxiety for the most obscure reasons
4. I love to cook for others, but hate eating it. I’ll make separate meals just for myself
3. I suffer from PTSD
2. I love to go out
1. I am an observer, and my judge of characteristics and actions are always up to par. I swear I have some form of extrasensory perception
Eight ways to win my heart
8. Candy
7. Musically inclined
6. Understanding/ considerate
5. Able to hold deep and intelligent conversations
4. Extroverted
3. Intelligence.
2. Constantly reminding me of their love, our love.
1. Ryan
Seven things that cross my mind a lot.
7. Paying bills
6. Pepper
5. School and having to eventually switch over to day classes in order to graduate which means I need to get a new job
4. Our future together
3. Death…. The constant feeling of loosing others
2. 10/02/06
1. My career, where I’ll go for my externship, and not wanting to wait.
Six things I do before I fall asleep
6. Walk Pepper
5. Shower
4. Brush my teeth
3. Watch tv/ Read
2. Pray
1. Snuggle Pepper
Five people who mean a lot.
5. Grandpa/ Tilly
4. Father
3. Ryan
2. Michael
1. Mom
Four things you're wearing right now.
4. Straight legs
3. Juicy Couture
2. Victoria S.
1. Forever 21
Three songs that you listen to often, right now.
3. Rogue Wave: Love’s lost guarantee
2. Chin up Chin up: Collide the Tide
1. Anything Minus the Bear
Two things you want to do before you die.
2. Live in Paris
1. Get the balls to change my hair color
One confession. (maybe 2... someone's gotta break the rules)
1. Before I go to bed at night I cant help but think of the emotional and physical feeling of loosing family or close friends. Morbid it is, but it is bound to happen eventually through your lifetime. How can you manage to find the energy to move forward? How can you accept such a deep loss or even come to terms.