(no subject)
well, i was glad for the long weekend but tilmans basically ruined it with that calculus take home test... wake up, do calc, eat some dinner, go to work, do calc, go to bed... same thing the next day and the day after that... but yesterday i actually did something fun... i just chilled and watched some football... ahh... what more can you ask for?
it's been a while since i've talked about something serious... so i guess now's the time... i'm just so sick of immature people... i wanna get away so bad... as much as i'm gonna miss my mom and my house and my family and everything, i'm so glad that i'll be leaving soon for college... i don't even care if i make friends at college... i think it'd be kind of nice, even, to just have alone time for a while... i mean, i have alone time now, but i still have to deal with stupid people at school... i just wanna stop being so nice sometimes... if someone's being an idiot or if someone's getting on my nerves or pissing me off, i wanna say something for once... i don't want to be mean... but sometimes i just wanna tell people to shut the fuck up... and i feel really sorry for some of the kids in my first period class... the way they act... towards the teacher, towards each other... it's just embarrassing... i would never act like that in a million years and it sucks that i have to be around it so much... i can see why miss bussard is so stressed out if she has to deal with three classes a day like that... i mean, they don't know ANYTHING and they don't even care... they don't plan to go to college or do anything big with their lives... they don't have goals and obviously their parents don't care about them... otherwise they wouldn't act the way they do and they'd know that even if it seems hopeless, they still have a chance to succeed and to make something of themselves... i just wanna shake them sometimes and ask them how they can be happy with life... i just wonder how they can possibly care about who so and so did it with over the weekend and who shot 50 cent this week when they're failing all of their classes, they've had about a hundred referrals each, and they don't plan on actually doing anything with their lives... i could never be that clueless and carefree... i wouldn't want to be...
and i'm still stressin' out about college stuff... how i'm gonna possibly write like, seven awesome essays on top of work and school and everything else that goes on in my life... i'm trying to be motivated, though... i make little to do lists and i work on my essays if i have free time... but sometimes i just wanna relax, you know? i think it would be pretty great to just take a break for a year after high school... travel the world... see france and england... and just have fun and experience new things... and then go to college... i feel like that year off could mean such a world of difference... i could figure out who i am and what i like and just have some time for myself... with no agenda and no set plans... just living spontaneously, on a day to day basis... but i know it's never gonna happen... i don't have the money, first of all, and neither does my family... and there are other reasons, of course, but i dunno... it just seems so crazy but i think it would be really great
well overall i guess i'm happy today... i'm feeling kind of optimistic... about almost everything, that is... i'm just sick of always finding the downside of everything i do... if i make one little mistake, i can't just write it off... no matter how stupid or unimportant it is... i should work on that, but i really don't have the energy
and i have like, chronic stomachaches... i can't stand it anymore... it's not a certain type of pain... like period pain or throwing up pain... it's just pain... the other day i swear my uterus was just gonna fall out... what the hell is wrong with me? i think it might be that i worry so much... stress can give you stomachaches, right? i dunno, but i think that's what it is... and it sucks
it's been a while since i've talked about something serious... so i guess now's the time... i'm just so sick of immature people... i wanna get away so bad... as much as i'm gonna miss my mom and my house and my family and everything, i'm so glad that i'll be leaving soon for college... i don't even care if i make friends at college... i think it'd be kind of nice, even, to just have alone time for a while... i mean, i have alone time now, but i still have to deal with stupid people at school... i just wanna stop being so nice sometimes... if someone's being an idiot or if someone's getting on my nerves or pissing me off, i wanna say something for once... i don't want to be mean... but sometimes i just wanna tell people to shut the fuck up... and i feel really sorry for some of the kids in my first period class... the way they act... towards the teacher, towards each other... it's just embarrassing... i would never act like that in a million years and it sucks that i have to be around it so much... i can see why miss bussard is so stressed out if she has to deal with three classes a day like that... i mean, they don't know ANYTHING and they don't even care... they don't plan to go to college or do anything big with their lives... they don't have goals and obviously their parents don't care about them... otherwise they wouldn't act the way they do and they'd know that even if it seems hopeless, they still have a chance to succeed and to make something of themselves... i just wanna shake them sometimes and ask them how they can be happy with life... i just wonder how they can possibly care about who so and so did it with over the weekend and who shot 50 cent this week when they're failing all of their classes, they've had about a hundred referrals each, and they don't plan on actually doing anything with their lives... i could never be that clueless and carefree... i wouldn't want to be...
and i'm still stressin' out about college stuff... how i'm gonna possibly write like, seven awesome essays on top of work and school and everything else that goes on in my life... i'm trying to be motivated, though... i make little to do lists and i work on my essays if i have free time... but sometimes i just wanna relax, you know? i think it would be pretty great to just take a break for a year after high school... travel the world... see france and england... and just have fun and experience new things... and then go to college... i feel like that year off could mean such a world of difference... i could figure out who i am and what i like and just have some time for myself... with no agenda and no set plans... just living spontaneously, on a day to day basis... but i know it's never gonna happen... i don't have the money, first of all, and neither does my family... and there are other reasons, of course, but i dunno... it just seems so crazy but i think it would be really great
well overall i guess i'm happy today... i'm feeling kind of optimistic... about almost everything, that is... i'm just sick of always finding the downside of everything i do... if i make one little mistake, i can't just write it off... no matter how stupid or unimportant it is... i should work on that, but i really don't have the energy
and i have like, chronic stomachaches... i can't stand it anymore... it's not a certain type of pain... like period pain or throwing up pain... it's just pain... the other day i swear my uterus was just gonna fall out... what the hell is wrong with me? i think it might be that i worry so much... stress can give you stomachaches, right? i dunno, but i think that's what it is... and it sucks