love is a many splendored thing

[ash_gone_wild]

I hate myself for feeling the way I do
I'm so lost in lies that I made myself belive that and cant even imagine escaping
I want to lie in feilds of poison laced thorns
I want you to see the markings from black painful tears that struck my pillow case and refuse to come off
I want to make you swallow the arsenic taste that escapes your lips of desceit and betrayal
I wish I could let you go but I care too much
I cant seem to get the thoughts out of my head that all you want is too hurt me more
I want to rip her name from your thoughts and replace them with my own
I want you to love me as much as you love her, as much as you used to love me
I want to swing from that branch left over in the park I imagined us together in
I want you to feel the hurt left inside me that lingers in the pit of my stomach whenever I think of what we could have had
I feel the cold sharp razor along my skin as it strokes along as if making a beautiful picture of red strokes on a canvas
I try to pawn off the pain to another location so it doesnt seem so harsh
I will never tell our secret it will stay safe in my conceiled lips of pure abandonment

as the rope caresses my neck, it all seems to fade away.

you'll never love me like I love you.